Just a few ideas...hope it helps.
Samantha Beckett is part Fairie. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know it.
Abandoned on a doorstep at birth, Samantha is bounced from foster home to foster home. She has no family and few connections.[/color][/font]. Her only real friend, a twelve year old street-wise boy named Charley,
has tried to pull her out of her shell, but with little success
. (I'd add something active here...show Charley is loyal...something from the story that he does. I think these changes will make Samantha sympathetic instead of pathetic)
That all changesWhat exactly changes...her bored, lonely life? I'd be more specific
when the two of them meet Captain Bartholomew Jones, a pirate from the hidden realm of Avalon. Captain Jones has been hired to deliver Samantha to her mother, who is
supposedly waiting in the Crystal City. It is a trip that will require a three week voyage through the strange world of Avalon.
Once in Avalon, the cheap necklace Samantha’s mother left with her turns into a priceless jewel, the Gift of the Fairie. How her mother, a simple handmaiden, came to possess such a treasure is a mystery to all. During their voyage to the Crystal City, Samantha is kidnapped and her jewel stolen. After a botched rescue by Charley, they finally escape the dungeon of Blackgate, but only with the help of a young Visconti—a Vampire with no taste for human blood*I think this is a great add...very attention getting
In Blackgate Samantha learns the truth: that her mother was not a handmaiden, but Queen of a conquered nation, long dead. Few knew that the Queen’s infant daughter had survived and was sent to the Outworld in secret to save her life, but now that secret is threatened. In order to prevent all-out war, Samantha and her friends must battle the ruler of Blackgate, a battle where Samantha finds herself face to face with her mother’s killer might want to mention mom is dead...this caught me off guard here and made me think I missed something above
With the battle’s end war has been averted, but peace hangs by a thread. Samantha is now asked to give up the only thing that was ever truly hers—her necklace—and to return back to the Outworld, never to return.
In Blackgate Samantha learns the truth: that her mother was not a handmaiden, but Queen of a conquered nation, long dead. **I see this is where you say mom is dead...on first read, I thought the conquered nation was long dead. May be a dangling participle.
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