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cheermom
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« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2012, 01:37:44 AM » |
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You have a lot of run-on sentences in here. Here are my suggested changes.
SUNNY ROSE has been looking for one man most of her life, an unknown face, yet a face she knows better than her own, a man’s face, that she can sketch instinctively. SUNNY ROSE has been looking for one man most of her life. His face unknown, yet a face she knows better than her own. A man’s face she can sketch instinctively.
At 49, Sunny Rose has come to terms with the fact that she is a widow. Like all difficult things in her life and there were plenty, she has neatly packed it away somewhere in her mind, put on a brave face and moved forward. She is enjoying her life; she is handling it with strength, courage and wisdom. She answers to no one but herself. Sunny is a mother, a grandmother, a successful and respected business woman, with an eye for beautiful young men. Then WhenTrebor Ransom came into her life, a twenty-two year old British film star. Sunny blows him off at their first meeting.He is too young even for her, she surmises as she throws back a shot of Jack Daniels, while she ogles him during a photo op. After their initial meeting, she can’t seem to shake the feeling that somehow she knows this man child. Sunny puts it out of her mind, and moves on with her life, of dating younger men. Much to her amusement and her 30 plus years, she has a no strings attached affair with her first love, Marcus Cruz.
Trebor is rapt by Sunny’s total disregard for him, He sets out to learn all he can about this barely over five foot tall, strawberry blond, charismatic woman. He learns much to his surprise, she is Cuban-American, and was born, Sonia Maria Rojas Lopez. Why is this important?
Three years have passed since Sunny and Trebor’s chance meeting. Trebor is in Tampa to film his latest movie, He arranges a private meeting with Sunny, under the pretense of using one of Sunny’s night clubs as the venue for a charity event he is hosting. Again, Sunny has a déjà vu moment when this six foot, blue eyed, alarmingly handsome Brit strolls into her South Tampa bungalow. After several hours of chatting about the event, music and their personal lives, Sunny becomes more captivated with this young man, She excuses herself to gather her composure. Trebor finds Sunny standing in front of the open freezer door trying to stave off the heat she is feeling, He kisses her, softly, tentatively, searching for her acceptance. Sunny knows this kiss, she has kissed these lips hundreds of times, yet she knows that is impossible. Sunny is lost in Trebor’s touch, his kisses, and his scent. During their intimate encounter, Trebor’s touches affect more than her body. They affect her heart. She cannot say no to him, He takes her to the living room couch were they have typical sex for a twenty-five year old, fast and hard. Sunny wakes up the next morning, with a smile, a killer hangover, and Trebor taking a shower. She’s surprised he stayed the night. Sunny, armed with a cigarette and a cup of very strong coffee, sits down with Trebor, to explain why a relationship between them would be disastrous. Trebor just smiles, and explains he’s staying for a while and When heasks her to teach him how to make love to a woman, not just a shag, Sunny is amused. Trebor turns out to be an eager student.
Sunny and Trebor’s affair is outed by the paparazzi. Sunny takes Trebor to the Stingray Motel, her family beach compound, a funky little beach motel from the 50’s, to hide out for a few days. While there Sunny gets a 3 AM call, from her longtime lover, Marcus. Sunny and Trebor have their first fight,Does the phone call cause the fight? It sounds that way, but isn't clear. Sunny sits him down and tells him about her life, the good, the very bad and some really ugly, and why Marcus calls often.
Trebor finally breaks up with his girlfriend, and Sunny has broken off a thirty year relationship with Marcus, and Although she is sad, she isn’t disappointed, Marcus will always be a constant in her life. I'm confused. At the beginning it says Sunny is a widow. Has she been having an affair with Marcus the entire time she was married?
After being together less than four months, to Sunny’s chagrin, Trebor proposes in front of both of their families. Sunny Shehesitantly accepts. A few days after the proposal, Trebor leaves on a month long press junket, Sunny is a little relieved, She isn’t sure he is ready for the kind of commitment she is willing to give him, he proves her right. While in London and Stockholm, he is caught several times with a tall, leggy brunette, by the paparazzi. Sunny’s Latin temper flares, and she burns all of his stuff and mails the ashes to him. She has the engagement ring hand delivered to him, at LAX as he is returning from the press junket. Trebor calls her trying desperately to explain, Sunny has refused refusesto speak to withhim. Trebor is so distraught he returns to London, to be consoled by his mother. After a month in London, Trebor returns to L.A. to get on with his career. Trebor Heis depressed and filled with self-loathing, He drinks himself into a stupor every night, which becomes an issue with his manager and agent, They suggest he seek treatment, at an exclusive Hollywood rehab center. WhenTrebor leaves rehab, refreshed and ready to get back to work, and to win back the one woman he loves.
Every night for nine months Trebor calls Sunny, She still will not answer his calls. Sunny She sits every night at a quarter after one, and listens to him pleading with her to just pick up the phone and talk to him. He sends her a birthday present, a Christmas present and Valentine's present, she takes them all and sticks putsthem in her closet, unopened.
Trebor returns to Florida for the Premiere Premiere of his movie. Sunny has graciously declined to go, The producer has sent her a video of the movie, She and her girlfriends, The Hippie Chicks, are going to the Stingray Motel and tohave their own premiere and after party, Everyone is sitting out by the pool with cocktails. Sunny looks up to see Trebor, walking across the courtyard in his usual quirky strut, He stands in front of her, apologizes and begs her to take him back. Sunny stands up and glares at him, rears back and slaps him, to everyone’s shock, Shethen jumps into his arms and kisses the cheek she has just slapped. She had already decided to answer the phone that night.
Within three days Trebor has pressed her to set a date. They decide on November 21. ,Sunny’s birthday. That gives them 6 months, to figure out how to outfox the paparazzi. They decide on a wedding at the Stingray Motel, telling everyone it will be a birthday celebration.
Trebor plans their honeymoon, a month in Europe, and Christmas in London. Their first stop will be is New York City, ;Trebor is in the Thanksgiving day parade, While in New York, Sunny experiences sudden bouts of nausea. Sunny Shehas a frightening thought, -could she be pregnant? She rushes out to a bodega Why did she go to a winery for an EPT test?, and picks up an EPT, NEGATIVE!!! -Negative!With that off her mind, she is even more disturbed as to what might be wrong with her, Trebor decides it is best to go home, and find out. Sunny spends a week on edge waiting for her doctors appointment, praying every night, It took her 40 years to find this man, and she wants more time with him.
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