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Nina
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« on: April 15, 2012, 04:00:44 PM » |
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When I first got my Kindle, I downloaded a booked called When Graveyards Yawn, the main character is a smoker and a few times every page he sits down and smokes, lit up a smoke, shares a cigarette, snuff out the smoke, thinks about how many he's had/has, how much they cost -- you get the idea, no? At first, I was amazed at how many ways one could describe lighting up and smoking then it began to get annoying and I thought, is he doing it for characterization? Or does he not know what else to do? Then I was editing through my novel and to my horror I found the same problem and my answer.
In my novel, Kira Sims is genetic scientist and she begins the book as a smoker, when she is told its unattractive she switches to coffee and to get her started n a scene I talked about her coffee. If it was cold, how long it's been there, if she'd fallen asleep holding her cup. When I write sometimes I find myself writing a shower or bathroom scene between the chars ( 'cause the idea hit me while I was showering). Thankfully, these go away during an edit, but Kira and her coffee just seems so important.
So my question is, if your character has a vice when is it to much to talk about it? When does it become less of a tool for the character to a repetitive action?
PS. I hope this is the right thread, if not my apologies.
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Midwest
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« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2012, 06:55:37 PM » |
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I think this is one of those situations where you'll get a feel for whether it works or not when you read it start to finish. If the references annoy you or distract you or interrupt the narrative, you'll know you have too many. A good critique partner will be able to tell you if you've got the right number or not
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archetype
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« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2012, 10:13:45 PM » |
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My rule of thumb is that everything must move the story forward. Everything must have a purpose. If there is no purpose to the cigarettes or coffee, then I'd dump them. Or, if they're important to characterization, only mention them when they play some part in the story (eg because another character is commenting on them or something). Kind of a brief answer, but hopefully somewhat helpful!
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bodwen
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« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2012, 11:26:08 PM » |
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 Every action should be logical for that character in that moment. Otherwise it competes with the story instead of carrying it forward.
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« Last Edit: April 15, 2012, 11:35:16 PM by bodwen »
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Falen
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« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2012, 10:32:19 AM » |
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Yep, what everyone else said. If it's for characterization purposes, then i would keep it to a minimum. Maybe 3-4 times for the whole novel. Anything else is really just beating your readers over the head with it. But seriously, when i'm drafting, i like to stick in stuff like that as much as possible. Because it's much easier to take it out later, than it is to try and stick it in. At least for me. 
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ClaudeDancourt
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« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2012, 03:28:27 PM » |
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Not sure there's a rule about that. It's may be an habit that wears on the nerves of other characters, and the occasion for rant, or something to show the MC is nervous, thoughtful, etc. The kind of show, not tell. Sure at some points, it might be too much, but I think you'll know what such is the case. If you are rereading your draft, and noticing it bothers you, then take it off. To me, it means you reached the limit. Good luck 
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mmmpancakes
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« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2012, 05:20:56 PM » |
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This is interesting! For me, I feel like it comes down to what feels right, and in some instances, I feel like the driving force behind the vice can be expressed in a few different ways. Your character drinks coffee/smokes cigarettes to combat something (stress/nervousness), and it's the "something" that really matters. Like in AMERICAN PSYCHO, the MC's neuroses and fixations manifest in him free-versing about Huey Lewis and the News, worrying about his suits, how much people spent on their business cards, etc. So maybe it comes down to drawing out the character - does how you use the smoking get the character across? The vice can be repetitive so long as it's believable and relevant in context, because some people really do chain smoke all the time, or drink coffee all the time.
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Careyrox
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« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2012, 01:25:21 AM » |
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so funny that you mention this. I realized after reading a post on an editor blog about this very thing. blog here: http://www.annemini.com/?cat=2289I am not sure if this is the exact page, but it still addresses the point. Anyway, I found that my MC gulps down drinks: wine, champagne, water, appletinis, what have you, when she is nervous. So much so that 2 characters point it out. One even goes as far as to comment "Have you brought us an alcoholic?" So, I guess if it works with the characters reactions, in my case to cover up her nerves and lack of words to say, then it may be ok. But...I may have to go back and ask...is this really necessary for her to do at this moment? Can she do something else to show the same emotion?
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