Will Unusual Character Reactions Make an Agent Stop Reading?

[Novelista85]

When you read a book and a character has an unusual reaction, do you assume the writer has good reason or do you assume the writer is incompetent?

I feel like there's a certain amount of trust between a writer and reader, but I'm not sure if the trust extends to the wannabe writer and potential agent relationship.

A beta read fifty pages and commented that the fear my character experienced wasn't normal and didn't jive with her other personality traits (i.e. strong female protagonist acting strangely weak).  A "fantasy" reason explains this fear much later in the book, after the story builds with more dramatic episodes of fear. I'm afraid agents will stop reading before the big reveal though—especially agents without my full synopsis.

I love the is-it-fantasy or isn't-it-fantasy aspect of my story, so I don't want to weaken my manuscript by taking away all subtlety.

Thoughts?

[Tabris]

I think it depends on how the character herself perceives the weird reaction or how other characters there are perceiving the weird reaction.

If you have a strong female protagonist who beats up the mugger in the lobby, then in the elevator casually grabs the wrist of the pickpoocket who's trying to steal something from another passenger, and then in her own office gets her messages saying she's in trouble with her boss AGAIN and she rolls her eyes...then goes into her office and breaks down sobbing because she has no more paper-clips, I think you have enough of a pattern established that you can get away with it.

She could self-talk through it and say, Come on, this isn't a big deal, it's not that way anymore, just breathe like you taught yourself...

Or her assistant could be standing there, saying, "This isn't like you! Come on, it's just paper-clips!" and your MC looks up, gets this irrational fear in her eyes, and then pulls herself together.

In other words, you need to hint that the MC is aware that this is an inconsistency and the MC is aware there's a bigger problem going on, but the MC also isn't able to solve it right now.

It's not a question of subtlety as much as you have to convey to the reader that YOU know there's a problem. One of the things my literature profs said was that apparent character inconsistencies in the beginning lead to character revelation later in the story. And questions are primarily what drive a story.

[Falen]

 

Yeah it sounds to me like maybe you just need to offer up a little foreshadowing or hints that will tell your reader that yes, this is a strange reaction, and if you keep reading you'll find out why.... bum bum bum.

It doens't even need to be a lot. One little line, or maybe two should do it. I like Tabris's suggestion of some internal character thought. Especially the "Just breathe like you taught yourself" bit. That would be enough of a hint for me to realize you know what you're doing with the reactions and i should just be patient

[Zooks]

Tabris nailed it w/great suggestions.

[AnyaHarker]

I'm going through the same thing right now, actually -- and I don't know if it's shooting me in the foot or not. I have Arthur acting VERY differently than we're used to (a petulant brat instead of the King we know him to be) but it's a choice I made and I have an intention of having him grow into the king we know him to be over the course of the book(s). But he has to start some place!

Yet those who read a brief snippet of the first 250 only see him as passive and whiny -- which isn't the case. But it's hard to defend your work because you sound like whining.

Tabris really nailed it. It's keep it consistent and give clues from others and I think it'll work out okay!

[clutzattack]

Karma Tabris! Awesome post.

I was reading something where the unusual reaction happened before the character had a chance to establish a pattern of reaction and was turned off. So I guess I'm the incompetent vote. If there's not an established pattern or hint of an explanation coming later I'll think the writer was in their own head too much and not thinking about how the other will perceive the action.

[Novelista85]

Wow, thank you everyone! Karma all around. I'd double Karma you, Tabris, if I could.

My situation is funny because my MC is basically alone in a foreign country when these events first occur. Her own frame of reference is the only guide (i.e. OMG, I can't move!--to sum it up). About 50 pages in, she meets someone who has the "This isn't like you!" reaction.

I **thought** I'd make the debilitating nature of her fear very clear in that first instance. This was the first beta with the reaction, "Oh, come on! She can't pick herself up off the floor?" She later said she didn't realize my ms was urban fantasy.

I've reread the scenes a dozen times and I don't see how to make the unusual nature of the fear any more clear without hammering the reader over the head. So, until I hear back from these agents, I guess I'll keep my fingers crossed that they either get it or see it as minor hiccup and keep reading until I explain the fear.

[AnyaHarker]

It's frustrating, it really is. Because i have people telling me they love how it opens and seeing this side of Arthur -- and then when looking at the first 250, no one seems to like it and I get slammed on characterisation. So I don't know.

 

Good luck to you, hun.

[bodwen]

I've reread the scenes a dozen times and I don't see how to make the unusual nature of the fear any more clear without hammering the reader over the head. So, until I hear back from these agents, I guess I'll keep my fingers crossed that they either get it or see it as minor hiccup and keep reading until I explain the fear.

Explain the fear right way.  If she's a dog lover and she's terrified by a hell-poodle, either have the poodle's eyes glow red, or else have her startled by her own reaction.  I know writing instructors beat us over the head to show don't tell, but some telling is necessary when appearances are deceiving.

[Novelista85]

I would if she understood what was happening (and it's first person). There's a "magical" reason someone explains much later.

[Tabris]

My situation is funny because my MC is basically alone in a foreign country when these events first occur. Her own frame of reference is the only guide (i.e. OMG, I can't move!--to sum it up). About 50 pages in, she meets someone who has the "This isn't like you!" reaction.

How far into the manuscript does this happen?  If it happens on page one, I don't think that's your best bet. But if you've got it happening between 5 - 10 pages, that's enough time to establish the character as strong and self-reliant BEFORE she gets pasted to the floor and can't get up.

If it's in third person, you can be kind of in her POV reflecting on how she chose to move alone to a foreign country and how she's doing this all on her own, etc (and maybe a slight hint of the thing that undoes her later on) and then when she's down and can't move, show her fear a bit more OTT?

If it's in first person, the self-talk will have to carry it. Make sure all her internal dialogue is active and she's totally in control of everything, and then show her own frustration/bafflement with herself when the thing happens.

You need to do something to establish character first, in other words, before she can break character.

ETA: What you do NOT want is to have the anomalous action happen first so that when she does begin acting strong, we think that's the out of character action. ;-)  So you may need to open more slowly because you need to show her being strong before you can show her temporarily weak.

[JeanneG]

Thank you, Tabris. This is such great advice. I've been struggling with a MC who is really struggling to find confidence in himself. The general reaction from agents is that he is unlikable, and finally, finally, after a major revision for an agent (who still rejected the R&R  ), I found the solution: Make him even more vulnerable by depending on others who are untrustworthy.

It was a difficult choice because I didn't want him to be a wimp, but the reader has to sympathize with the character before that character does something awful or horrifying. Third person POV gives you more latitude, I think.

JeanneG

[Falen]

I would if she understood what was happening (and it's first person). There's a "magical" reason someone explains much later.

Also, sometimes it's just the reader. My writing group calls this the "barnacle syndrome" because i once had a beta reader tell me that i needed to explain to the reader what a barnacle was. True story.
If you look at it, and you honestly think it's as clear as it can possibly be, then maybe it's just your reader. Just ask someone else to take a look to make sure.

[Novelista85]

Tabris, the event happens 22 pages in, after my seventeen-year-old character runs away to a foreign country and sneaks into a bar. Katniss Everdeen she's not, but I'd call her somewhat ballsy. I'm hoping it's just the reader, as Falen mentioned.

Barnacle syndrome! Love it! That makes me feel immensely better, Falen. The beta didn't know my genre was urban fantasy and she has contemporary roots. I'm pretty sure she didn't take my explanations literally--as in "I **couldn't** get up off the floor" (in greater detail, of course).

I'll let you guys know what the agents say. Thanks for all your help.

[bodwen]

I would if she understood what was happening (and it's first person). There's a "magical" reason someone explains much later.

Right, but she should remain in character.  Suppose I got a nosebleed whenever I walked into a haunted house.  The first time I'd think: my nose is bleeding, how embarassing, must be allergies.  And I'd act and react accordingly until I realized there are supernatural forces at work.

But it sounds like you're already doing that, so it's probably fine.