(I suggest showing, even in the hook.) Try Scott Freeman solves the freak files. From the hermaphrocidal crossing guard to the spanking banker, he thought he'd seen it all until he learns the fate of the gods rests in his hands.A detective with a penchant for bizarre cases learns his destiny rests in the hands of the gods--but theirs rests in his. Love the concept and knowing your voice, I know the story is a killer, (puns intended). This query needs culling debridement, Doc. Perseverance and buona fortuna.
After the freakish (SHOW) death of his fiancée Emily, thirty-year-old homicide detective SCOTT FREEMAN, nicknamed the “Freak Hunter”, revisits painful memories when he's assigned to investigate the “Red Deaths”, a string of unexplained gruesome killings (This runs together with too many disparate ideas. Is there a tie between Emily's death and the RDs?) . A homeless man named T-LO seems to know far too much about the murders, and about Scott. T-Lo leads Scott to the director of a criminal underworld organization who demands Scott’s help in preventing any more Red Deaths in exchange, (yeah, it's necessary)for information about what really caused Emily’s death. When Scott learns the members of the organization all believe they are gods, he fears he’s hunted the wrong freak--until he witnesses the power (SHOW) of T-Lo and his friends firsthand. As he races to catch the mastermind behind the Red Deaths and faces his own mortality against the abilities of self-proclaimed gods, Scott’s most unusual case may prove to be his last.
WELCOME TO TARTARUS is an urban fantasy/thriller novel set in Lower Manhattan, and is the first book in a series. My writing has appeared in various literary markets, including Short Story America, joyful!, Long Story Short, and Drabblecast, and I have won several awards for fiction, including from SCBWI-Carolinas, SEAK, and an honorable mention from Writer’s Digest for mystery/thriller fiction.