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Kaiodem
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« on: March 24, 2012, 09:48:31 PM » |
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Dear Awesome, Spectacular Agent:
I have just completed the next bestseller. I'd like to think of it as a crossover between Twilight, Harry Potter, and the Hunger Games. My novel has received numerous, outstanding comments from all my peers and family. At 200 thousand words, you will not be able to stop reading.
When Edwardo stumbles across the most beautiful, stunning, klutzy teenage girl, Bellalina, to ever walk the face of the planet, he can't stop wanting to just bite her, but little did he know she was a witch. As he goes to bite her neck, she uses her wand to stop him from making an unwanted mistake, but he's just too powerful, and her wand malfunctions. With his bite slowing turning her into a sparkling vampire, they have outraged the government and are being thrown into a deadly game between vampires where only one survives. They must break necks, set things on fire, and risk all their lives in order to please the game makers, but when it comes down to just Bellalina and Edwardo, they must decide whether they should kill each other or save their love. But is their love even really worth it?
TWI HARP GAMES is my young adult/middle grade fantasy, dystopia, paranormal debut novel that I've sent to over 100 agents. I have attached the full manuscript to this e-mail and am looking forward to your offer of representation. But if you don't offer representation, I will keep sending this to you for the rest of your life until you do offer representation.
Yours most truly,
Kaiodem
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« Last Edit: March 24, 2012, 10:08:59 PM by Kaiodem »
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lexcade
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« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2012, 11:30:07 PM » |
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Duality - Edits WIP: Spark Outline: Untitled Epic Fantasy, Silver Circle (YA urban fantasy), Siren's Song (YA dystopian) Back burner: Taming The Ancients http://lexcade.blogspot.com |
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LydiaT
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« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2012, 06:37:43 PM » |
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ChokeCherry
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« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2012, 02:04:57 PM » |
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Simply wonderful.  |
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Kaiodem
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« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2012, 07:43:56 PM » |
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*Takes a bow* Why thank you all.
Now imagine if someone really sent something like this to agent. How would they respond?
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munley
Hero Member
Karma: 766
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Posts: 1012
Literary Fiction: Mystery
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« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2012, 06:20:18 AM » |
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Like some of the other "worst" queries in this column, I actually think this would make a good book. Really funny and a great spoof on the vampire genre.
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I quietly take to the ship. -- Herman Melville
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Kaiodem
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« Reply #6 on: April 02, 2012, 08:30:34 PM » |
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Hm...Maybe I should start writing it. haha
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rivergirl
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« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2012, 05:37:33 PM » |
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Shruti
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« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2012, 09:52:51 AM » |
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I just couldn't stop laughing!!  |
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iBel29
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« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2012, 06:52:54 AM » |
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Thayenga
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« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2012, 08:54:27 AM » |
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But if you don't offer representation, I will keep sending this to you for the rest of your life until you do offer representation.
Yours most truly,
Kaiodem
It sure, definately, absolutely, positively etc. can't get any better than this! |
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peacehart
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« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2013, 08:45:27 AM » |
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  I loved this!
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