hi Lance C,
i have to be honest: i was greatly confused by your query (sorry
). there were just so many names, it was hard to keep them all straight. i really had to think which, obviously, you don't want from your reader. also, you allude to a lot of plot points, but you're not telling us what happens. what do you mean their "identities were stolen"; that Jake and Mariam are "used as bait"; that Jake "stumbles" upon Hezbollah's plot. remember, i don't have the same knowledge or understanding as you do. of course, you wrote it so you know the story inside and out. when you say "they become far harder targets than Alayan ever expected" -- it makes perfect sense (obviously). me, as a new reader, i haven't a clue. and i'm not saying you need to spell everything out, i'm just saying i need to picture the scene...ya know?
before you send out your query i would strongly suggest cutting about 20k words. i know what you're thinking (cuz i've been there), but the average word count in your genre is 80-100k. (don't believe me, google it or click here -- http://theswivet.blogspot.com.au/2008/03/on-word-counts-and-novel-length.html
). i know it's painful, but you can do it. trust me. (i had to cut 40k from mine. painful but doable.)
good luck to you!