Thanks for giving feedback on mine BTW
Here are my notes in ()and changes bracketed <>. I'm not a usual reader of YA, but it sounds like a good book, just some additional clarification needed in the synopsis IMO.
Seventeen-year-old Olivia Black is busy failing her Calculus test when she notices the new guy, Marcus, staring at her hand. Yeah, he's hot, but that's no excuse to be rude.
So she was
<She’s not the only one born with rare birth defect known as Psyche Sans Soma (PSS) causing her to have> an ethereal, glowy, see-through right hand where her flesh and blood hand should have been.
She's not the only one in the world with the rare birth defect known as Psyche Sans Soma or PSS.
It's not like her hand is dangerous. It's not like it is warm and fluid and seeping away from her, burning to reach inside people and pull out the deepest darkest secrets of their damaged psyches. (This last part at first confused me. Does her hand really do this and she doesn’t know it yet? Perhaps fold this in later?) (OK, I get the last part of the first paragraph now. Her hand is physically manifesting secrets that people hold. I’m not sure how to word it differently, but it needs to be clarified somehow.)
At least, it's not that way until Marcus stares at it and Olivia's hand decides to reach into the back (her actual back or her backpack? She actually has razor blades embedded in her back?) of Passion Wainwright, a girl with cutting issues, and pull out a bag of razor blades. Thankfully, Passion faints, distracting everyone, and when Marcus touches Olivia's wrist, cool and calm, her hand snaps back to normal and they get the hell out of there, blades and all.
(I’d revise something like this)
<Self-conscious, Olivia is surprised when her hand, seemingly with a will of its own, reaches into the back of Passion Wainwright and pulls out a bag of razor blades. Thankfully, Passion faints, distracting everyone, and when Marcus touches Olivia's wrist, cool and calm, her hand snaps back to normal and they get the hell out of there, blades and all.>
Marcus claims that Olivia is in danger—that her name is on a list of teenagers with ghost limbs (can we call it either PSS or ghost limb? Are the different, one as a subset of another?) who are disappearing one by one. He blames <claims> the
, a militant anti-PSS <hate>group <are attempting to extract and use the power of PSS> bent on extracting and using the power of PSS for their own purposes. and When Olivia realizes she is being stalked by a strange dark man, she begins to believe him.
She knows Marcus isn't telling her everything. She doesn't trust him, though he is obviously interested in her, and her hand, and the ability of the blades to block the CAMFer's PSS extraction devices. (Wait, aren’t the blades a manifestation of Passion’s cutting urge? How are they now magical? I need more info on this.) Still, she can't deny the cold hard fact that she needs Marcus. She needs his knowledge. She needs his protection. Most of all, she needs his proven ability to keep her ghost hand in check with only his touch, a touch she's growing to enjoy more than she'd like to admit. (Olivia seems kind of weak here, leaning on Marcus a lot. Hope she breaks out of this later)
When a CAMFer spy burns down Olivia's house, steals the bag of blades, and frames her for arson, she barely escapes with her life. Her mother won't believe she didn't set the fire and, if that isn't bad enough, Olivia discovers that her mother has secretly been dating a new man—a doctor overly interested in running tests on Olivia's ghost hand. As the CAMFers close in, Olivia is driven to run away with Marcus to his secret camp in the woods where she meets other kids with PSS—kids Marcus has rescued—kids on the CAMFer's list just like she is. (There’s a lot going on here. Perhaps take out the mother issue? Try to focus on the main plot and main characters in a synopsis?)
Together, Marcus, Olivia and the boys of PSS Camp try to get the blades back, believing they are the key to beating the CAMFers, but the attempt fails miserably. Marcus is shot in the chest and a stunned Olivia watches him die only to see him resurrect ten minutes later. Marcus has been keeping a tiny little secret; he has PSS of the chest and the unique ability to regenerate his major internal organs. Olivia doesn't know whether to throttle him or compliment him on his fine PSS pecs. (I’d put something in here about how this makes him virtually immortal, or something else to highlight the significance of this)
Then Olivia's best friend Emma is taken hostage by the CAMFers and, in a full-out attempt to rescue her, Marcus goes missing. (Does Emma play much of a role early on? If not, I’d not identify here specifically here.) Olivia realizes too late that he has given himself up to the CAMFers in hopes that with him as a renewable PSS source they won't go after anyone else. Against all odds, Olivia must rescue Emma, the blades, Marcus, and Passion Wainwright from the clutches of the CAMFers. (add an ‘or what’ here) Through a gauntlet of pain, self-discovery, and the barrier of her own self-doubt, Olivia defeats the leader of the CAMFers, the very doctor her mom is dating, and discovers that her hand is capable of feats she never imagined.(More detail on the self-discovery i.e. that she has courage, that she is important and worthy, etc.,) It can plunder the depths of the human soul, manifesting things never meant to exist in this world. Artifacts of power that answer the call of Olivia's need and hers alone. Items she could use to help others on the list, and defeat the CAMFer organization once and for all, but at what cost? (Go ahead and give the spoiler! They’ll want to know the ending. What is the cost? What does she do?)