Here’s my revised query. Thank you for your feedback!
Dear Ms. Agent,
When moodyooo.. I bet you could use a good example here -something short to show what you mean by moody. Granny Makhumalo visits, eleven-year-old Yvonne knows she’ll lose her freedomin which way?. But when Mama discloses only a portion of Granny’s difficult past, Yvonne is determined to unravel the whole truth.too vague
After uncovering a photo of Granny in tattered clothes, Yvonne believes that Granny was treated poorly as a child, so she sneaks around her and Mama to search for more evidence. When Granny forbids her to see a friend, Yvonne defies her and escapes with her friend to seek more answers about Granny’s past. She hatches a plan to get Granny out of her way and unearths a diary revealing the truth. Yvonne must sacrifice her freedom and understand Granny’s past in order to learn to love her.
Set in Zimbabwe, THE VISITOR is a middle grade novel, complete at 25,000 words.
Sounds interesting and you've got the basic idea down. It's just missing more specifics. It'd be fun to 'see' Granny's grumpiness. I bet she's got quite the character! And it'd be nice to know a little bit more about what Granny's hiding - of course, not the details, but little hints that would draw us in.
It looks like you're almost there! Good luck!