Thanks for all the help so far. Please let me know if this works.
Dear Ms. <whomever you are>,
Jake Eldar’s and Miriam Schaffer’s names may kill them. Clearly, I read/write too much fantasy -- I took this literally and was then really confused
Jake manages a bookstore in Brooklyn; Miriam is a secretary at a Philadelphia law firm. Both grew up in Israel, saw combat in the Israeli armed forces and emigrated to build new lives in America. Each has no idea the other exists Seems a bit overwrought. Can't just say "they don't know each other"? or "they've never met"?…until the Israeli intelligence agency Mossad uses their identities in an operation to assassinate a high-ranking Hezbollah commander.
Now Hezbollah plans to kill both of them in revenge.I can see how that would be a problem, yeah.
In IDENTITY, Jake, Miriam and ten other innocents in five countries wake up to find their identities stolen and their lives caught between Mossad and Hezbollah in a international game of murder and reprisal. Jake stumbles upon Hezbollah’s plot but is unable to convince the police it exists. When his wife is murdered in a botched hit meant for him, Jake joins forces with Miriam How did they run into each other in the first place?to outrun and outfight their pursuers while also protecting his young daughter. Hezbollah, however, has a fallback plan: hundreds of people on two continents will die if Jake and Miriam survive.Hey look, other shoe, you dropped!
Complete at 118,000 words, IDENTITY is inspired by Mossad’s 2010 assassination of Mahmoud Mabhouh. It will appeal to fans of Daniel Silva’s Gabriel Allon series and Ken Follett’s stories of modern-day international intrigue, action and suspense.
I’ve enclosed <whatever you asked for>. Thank you for your time and consideration.
First up, I am totally not the intended audience for this, so I really can't say too much about it with any authority. It seems really solid, though. I have a clear picture of stakes, the query moves at a brisk pace and it seems like it's probably not something that's been overdone, but I really wouldn't know that. It seems new to *me*, anyway.
Good luck with this :D