Thanks to both of you for responding to my query. It appears that my attempts to incorporate advice from other bloggers and agent sites has fallen flat here. I feel as if I need to scrap this query and return to a draft that I wrote long before this one. Nothing personal against the comments you've both made, but it appears my biggest problem is second guessing myself and doing research looking for the advice that 's going to help me write "the perfect query". I was told that my last query was "too short" and lacked enough plot, this one obviously has too much.
I will presume that the "memoirish" comment is a reference to my inclusion of her mother and childhood in the query. Apparently this is poor advice from another source that encouraged me to touch on the source of her trauma, or maybe I just did a poor job wording it...
Serena does not spend the entire novel in the therapy office, rather the reader lives her efforts to expunge her past along with her in the present as her relationship with Eli creates ongoing challenges. Maybe I should mention the scene where she hits rock bottom and breaks off the engagement?! (I was once told to take this out because I was giving away the story).
I am also aware that my word count is "heavy" for my genre, however I must believe that I am the exception in this case. I have sold nearly 300 copies (not just to friends and family) and every review has been positive. The compliment I hear most is that readers can't put the book down and become absorbed in the characters. I've even had readers say they were sorry to see the book end! The endorsement that I received from a fellow author who has published multiple novels compliments the pace and ease of reading.
In response to the mention only of publishing credit in the bibliography sentence, I interpreted advice to "tell the agent why you are the person qualified to write on this subject." I may not be quoting verbatim, but this came directly from the submission page of an agency for fiction!
Thank you for taking the time to assist me and leave your comments. It is greatly appreciated regardless of my personal frustration. I intend to consider everything as I edit, revise, become further confused, and pull my hair out!
As I continue my pursuit of a writing career, I am becoming painfully aware of that it seems to be more luck than skill to match even a well written query to an agent. I hope that someday my query will zig at precisely the right time and zag into the hands of the perfect agent!