Cover letter on R&R

[dougie]

Sometime next week, I hope to submit an R&R back to the agent who requested it.  My questions center on how to submit it.

- Should I submit it as a "reply" to the previous email she sent me 5 or 6 weeks ago, or should I send it as a fresh new email?

- In my email, should I reference the major things that I changed, or should I go with something more generic?  And if I do this, would parenthetical page references be helpful?  Or would that smack too much of desperation?

- If I go for a shorter, more of a generic email, would this work?:

Dear X,

Thank you for your many wonderful suggestions for revising XXXX.  I'm attaching a new draft of my manuscript, which I've re-titled YYYY.  I very much hope you enjoy it, and am especially grateful for your continued consideration of my work.

Best,

dougie

[JeanneG]

Not sure why you re-titled the ms., but your sample letter seems fine. I submitted as a "reply," so the agent had a record of the correspondence. In the subject line, I put "Requested Material: Revisions of TITLE." That seemed to work fine, and it kept the response from landing in the query pile.

I would not specify your changes. I made that mistake, and it drew the agent's attention to what she didn't like the first time. It opened the door for some nit-picking, unfortunately.

Just my thoughts...

JeanneG

[dougie]

Thanks, JeanneG, for passing along your experience.  I'm sorry to hear you experienced some consequences when specifying the changes. 

Re: the name change.  Every time I've re-read the ms over the past few weeks, one particular phrase kept jumping out at me.  My hope would be that if the new name was the only thing the agent didn't like about the R&R, she'd at least offer representation on the condition that I revert to the original name.

[MittensMorgul]

dougie,

One thing I've heard from a lot of authors is that the title they've given their novel often gets changed during the submission/editing/publication process. I wouldn't worry about the title too much.

I have also made the mistake of detailing my changes in the cover letter, and wouldn't do that again! Let the agent read the MS with fresh eyes, not with expectations of specific changes that she might be on the lookout for, only to feel let down if the changes aren't exactly what she was expecting based on your explanations. Let your MS speak for itself!

GOOD LUCK!!!

[dougie]

Thanks for the advice, MittensMorgul.  What you said about letting the agent "read the MS with fresh eyes" makes a lot of sense.

[Midwest]

Wow, JeanneG, that's too bad. I've always heard you should tell what you changed in the R&R but based on your story, that sure sounds like bad advice now. Thanks for sharing that.

[JeanneG]

Yes, I think the whole "fresh eyes" thing really applies here. You don't want to set up expectations for the agent, especially since this business is so subjective. For example, if you tell the agent, "I improved the pacing," the agent may view that as book-starts-with-a-big-explosion, while you meant: characters-get-to-know-each-other-better. 

Those are extreme examples, but I think it's better for the agent to sense that the book reads more smoothly without being directed to the changes that made that happen. It's a bit like keeping the curtain closed in the Wizard of Oz. If the audience doesn't see how the magic works, they are more impressed.

However, if you are revising for an agent who already represents you, then you may want to point out the changes. At this juncture, the agent already believes in the book.

Just my thoughts...

JeanneG

[B]

Although several QTers have said it, I've never read that an agent wanted to know the changes in the cover letter. I don't outline the changes, esp because in my r&r, I wasn't just going through and implementing the agent's suggestions. I had other feedback, had discarded some and also feel that while an agent may say something isn't working, sometimes it's not that straightforward - something isn't working because of how it's written or set up but does work with the right revision - and I wouldn't want to tell them up-front, "I didn't take out that thing you thought should be taken out", when they might read and realize it wasn't the problem anyway. (I'm talking to a 7yo while I write this so there's a pretty good chance it doesn't make sense.)