A Cure for the Family (Romance/Family Saga)

[MrsMcDowell]

Opening:


Each kiss was an event. Each time he brought his mouth to hers, the world would explode around them in a thousand tiny bits, only to be pieced back together by the moments in between.
His hand would find her cheek, brushing a thumb across the soft, white palette. Then, tracing across her lips; he knew every contour, every crease. Her breath would tickle his fingertip. At last when he leaned forward, he’d tease her mouth with his, pulling away before she could taste his hungry complexity.
When their lips would finally meet, she would explore him with slow strokes, begging for more and coveting his unique badge of intimacy. And when he spoke her name, his silky, soothing tenor found its way into her very soul.
“Catherine…”

[LateToTheParty]

I get what you're doing. It's a good way to intro a character. The only quibble I have is waiting five lines, at least a solid paragraph to get (what I'm presuming is) your protag's name. Otherwise, well done. I differ to my distinguished colleagues.

[greenk]

I like the first line and the idea that a kiss could be an event. However, the rest of the description seems a bit generic, like it could describe any two people kissing in any situation. You say he has a "unique badge of intimacy." This is an intriguing phrase, but it doesn't yet seem true. I wonder if you could save these paragraphs for later and start with something, instead, that shows HOW he is unique, or how the woman is unique, and how this relationship is different from other relationships in romance stories. Give us a hint as to what the hook for your novel is.