Fifty Shades of Tedium and Bad Writing

[tlbodine]

Three things: 

1.) What's really odd to me is that a lot of the people who are delighted with 50 Shades are excited *because* it's empowering women.  The fact that women have a voice in smut /at  all/ is viewed as a good thing, and that's the inherent value of the erotica market.  Not sure I agree with that, but that's the prevailing notion among smart folks that like these books. 

2.)  I haven't read 50 Shades, but I feel confident from what I have seen that it is /not/ accurately portraying BDSM or even getting the flavor of it right.  I know a lot of people who are in that subculture.  Heck, *I* am in that subculture to an extent.  I know exactly what the appeal is of being a submissive, and it has nothing to do with abuse.  In fact, abusiveness is the complete antithesis of power-play, since a real BDSM relationship depends 100% on *trust*.  So the idea that women who don't know any better are confusing the empowering kind of kink with run-of-the-mill abuse is just....

3.)  All the disturbing implications of Twilight and its ilk got ratcheted up to 11.  I'm both curious and terrified to see what the next step of that progression is.  Personally, I've always been sad about what we've done *to men* in fiction -- and in society.  I don't know about you guys, but I was raised with a sort of demonization of male sexuality.  Basically any guy who had any kind of sex drive whatsoever was a rapist, any guy who acted interested in you at all was going to hurt you -- that's what I was basically raised with, and what a lot of my generation was too I bet.  It took me a long time and a lot of really confusing, pathetic failed relationship attempts before I sorted that out.  And the stupidest thing is that all the while we're ranting and raving about the horribleness of male sexuality and working on immasculating men....women are craving "alpha males."  These people can't be satisfied. 

 

....Ok, I'm done now.  I had to get that off my chest. 

[ChokeCherry]

I don't know about you guys, but I was raised with a sort of demonization of male sexuality.  Basically any guy who had any kind of sex drive whatsoever was a rapist, any guy who acted interested in you at all was going to hurt you -- that's what I was basically raised with, and what a lot of my generation was too I bet.  

....Ok, I'm done now.  I had to get that off my chest. 

Maybe it's partly because of that - the pendulum effect. I couldn't believe that noone I knew seemed to notice how 'controlling' Edward was... silly me.

But they say the best way to sell a book is to get people to talk about it. Got to give Fifty Shades bonus points for that one.

[Carakasla]

If 50 Shades instead opened a dialogue about domestic abuse and helped expand women and young girl's definition of what abuse and an abuser is, I honestly wouldn't mind if people talked about it. Yet, all it does is help narrow that definition, basically saying: "if a man is hot and rich, let him do whatever he wants, because you should be so lucky to have him. Only a whore would tell him when he crossed a line."

Which is very wrong and very dangerous.

I dont know if it's sick or not, but I wish a domestic abuse survivor or the family of a domestic abuse victim would come out one day and SUE these authors for their message. Hey, if two families can sue Judas Priest, claiming their lyrics caused the suicidal death of their teenage children, then why can't someone do the same to these authors who perpetuate this dangerous message?

And yes, I am well aware that case was thrown out eventually but it's the principle of the idea. That case brought out a lot of dialogue about musicians' responsibility to their fans when it came to their music, so why can't we do the same with authors and books?

Even though we authors aren't as visible as actors and musicians, we should still be held to the same high standard as them for our words. Words can be even more powerful than acting and music. Could you imagine what would happen if say Angelina Jolie, or Lady Gaga, or Madonna, came out and SAID what basically these authors suthors are telling people?

Also what kills me is that not only is E.L James completely avoiding the issue, but if a female writer came out and called her out on it, then they are just a jealous harpy. Well, guess what? I'm a writer, and I don't have a penis, and I'm calling out E.L James on her bullsh*t: B*tch, why are you perpetuating this dangerous message? What are you going to do if someone DIES at the hands of a Christian Grey-like man? Because, it will happen, and it probably already has happened. There is absolutely no doubt about that.

(Note: I'm not saying authors should be held to a legal standard for what they say in their books. I just think if say, E.L James or Stephenie Meyer were sued because of the domestic abuse messages in their books, it would be a nice eye opening experience.)

[LateToTheParty]

Three things: I'm only opining one, 'cause I'm emotionally immature like that.  

3.)  All the disturbing implications of Twilight and its ilk got ratcheted up to 11.  I'm both curious and terrified to see what the next step of that progression is.  Personally, I've always been sad about what we've done *to men* in fiction -- and in society.  I don't know about you guys, but I was raised with a sort of demonization of male sexuality.  Basically any guy who had any kind of sex drive whatsoever was a rapist, any guy who acted interested in you at all was going to hurt you -- that's what I was basically raised with, and what a lot of my generation was too I bet.  It took me a long time and a lot of really confusing, pathetic failed relationship attempts before I sorted that out.  And the stupidest thing is that all the while we're ranting and raving about the horribleness of male sexuality and working on immasculating men....women are craving "alpha males."  These people can't be satisfied. 

 

....Ok, I'm done now.  I had to get that off my chest. 

A lot of the icky (technical term) implications in Twilight is based more on theological gender roles than on sexual mores, (conscious or subconscious). Further, I think the next step will be some ridiculous swing back. Which leads me to what HASN'T been done to men; responsibility, damnit! The popular depictions of men are either, amoral (but lovable) cad or down-trodden schlub but NEVER do the men take, (or suffer) responsibility in the way that women do.    We, (I've weighed in with my 2 pennies) rail on this woman's writing and/or her dubious depiction of a lifestyle. But we either lend gravity to male writers, Henry Miller or chuckle at those silly boys, *cough* Philip Roth *cough* without examining how irresponsible, (best) or damaging, (Roth/Miller HATES women, just saying) the work is to a other silly boys, who adamantly refuse to grow up.

I typed all this to say, don't be too quick to give us a pass, Sis. While we're not all rapicidal maniacs, we are all children, (well trained or otherwise) used to getting our way and getting a pass as strong protectors or harmless jokesters but seldom are we held responsible for our actions to the same degree as the ladies painted with the slut brush.

Examples? Never thought you'd ask. Who didn't laugh at that scamp, Bradley Cooper in "The Hangover," huh? Who didn't HATE Rachel Harris, when she exhibited the SAME attitude/behavior? Books? Port Moresby is a cyclical philanderererer but Kit pays the price. We grieve for Ethan Frome but Edna Pontellier is better off dead, some how? WTF?

Finally, (whew) we should rant about men's "horribleness of male sexuality" and the rapist alpha male and the Puritanical Cotton Mather who would control, if not truncate, a woman's sexuality. People can't be satisfied but they can (and should) be made to deal with their shit. Me? I'd like to book-whip some of these folks with Andrea Dworkin's INTERCOURSE and see if they can gain introspection through osmosis. Great discushion.

[eallen99]

First, Carakasla, I do not think anyone should sue Ms. James to bring attention to what might happen as a result of her message. While I despise what she's written and continue to be sick to my stomach at the wildfire success, what you say tiptoes dangerously close to contesting freedom of speech ( maybe print, but it's one of our rights). I hate what she's done but I'll defend to the death ( as a writer) her right to write it. As far as wrong, warped, twisted messages that could have detrimental influences on impressionable readers, history is chock full of 'em. Start with the Bible ( oh no! Did I just spark a religious debate?!?) up to Lolita and then some.

And Mary L. "Another thing that happened is some socialite book clubs in NY picked the book up. In addition, national news publicized the fact the book clubs full of rich women liked it. Pow! Overnight success. Too bad it wasn't one of our books, huh? "

Don't forget good old Doc Oz's endorsement of her series as sexual therapy for couples whose flames have been flickering out. Yeah, slap the shit out of me, that will turn me on again!

[LateToTheParty]

  And, censorship and Dr. Oz aside, I prefer love songs. "Whip me, beat me, call me 'Edna,'" anyone?  

[bodwen]

Maybe it's partly because of that - the pendulum effect. I couldn't believe that noone I knew seemed to notice how 'controlling' Edward was... silly me.

In Edward's defense he is a 100 year old Victorian gentleman...

 

[ChokeCherry]

In Edward's defense he is a 100 year old Victorian gentleman...

 

I guess we're all a product of our generation - including me. 
I actually didn't mind Twilight  ... it worked great to put me to sleep at night. I'm pretty sure 50 Shades wouldn't accomplish this.

Oh, and I'd join the community fiction thing - sounds fun, but as a MG writer at heart, it might be above me... hehehe... unless I could take over the 'little girl' parts that keep getting referred to. (in a proper-moral way, mind you.)

[lexcade]

I swear I dated this guy.

I was reading through Jennifer Armintrout's blog and her Chapter 16 recap really struck a chord. He had no interest in my life, hated my sister, and IF a male friend called, the first words out of his mouth were "Did you date him?" I actually lost a really good friend because of him. But, like most readers of this book, I kept thinking it'd get better. That if I just held on long enough, it'd improve. He never hit me, but he had a temper and there were times he scared me. And yet I stayed. For four years, until HE finally broke it off *for the fourth time, mind you*. And then HE decided we would still be friends, and HE decided we'd still have sex, and I went along with it, mostly because I still wanted to have sex too.

That, that that that, is why books like Twilight and 50 Shades burn my bread so bad. The emotional manipulation, the "trust me this is good for you because I say so" mentality, the way he isolates her from everyone in her life, it makes me so f*cking mad. All I want to do is reach through the pages and slap AnaBella and say, "WAKE UP. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY." 

I know most people are smart enough not to be influenced by stuff like this. People are not always sheep, but I fret for the ones who do. That small percentage who want to be treated like property rather than a person, who want to be stalked and patronized and told what to do because they have some skewed perception of what a loving, healthy relationship is. I don't expect the abuse numbers to climb because of books like this, but it's still dangerous to people who are like AnaBella, who don't see themselves as special, who don't understand their value. That was me. And I let myself be sucked in, and guys, he wasn't even rich. 
 

[Aiala]

Start with the Bible...

Hooo-lawd! Can I get a witness?? 

~A~

[LateToTheParty]

Maybe it's partly because of that - the pendulum effect. I couldn't believe that noone I knew seemed to notice how 'controlling' Edward was... silly me.

Victorian gentleman...

Having read a bit of the Victorian era, I can't help but find those terms mutually exclusive. Just saying.

[tlbodine]

hehe LTTP, you're quite right.  I read an essay recently on how, if life were a video game, straight white men are playing it on the easiest possible setting.  Did you ever take a peek at that?  It was pretty awesome.

I'm just saying that we're doing some screwed-up things to gender in literature (and society).  For example, I'm reading the Hunger Games trilogy right now, I'm about a quarter into Catching Fire.  And I'm struck by the way that 1.) apparently the only way to sell these characters is to essentially invert their genders and 2.) nobody thinks there's anything wrong at all about meek little Peeta being emotionally knocked around by rough, abrasive Katniss (when, were those roles reversed, people would likely have a LOT to say). 

It's just such a ridiculous dichotomy.  Either we have completely harmless men like Peeta or monsters like Edward or Christian.  Where's the middle ground?  This, clearly, is why I neither read nor write romances. 

I think we've touched on another element of this 50 Shades madness that is attracting people.  For better or worse, the concept of "I'm dating a monster, but if I try just a little harder, I can fix him!" resonates with a LOT of women. 

[eallen99]

"It's just such a ridiculous dichotomy.  Either we have completely harmless men like Peeta or monsters like Edward or Christian.  Where's the middle ground?  This, clearly, is why I neither read nor write romances. "

Eric Alexander! He's the middle ground in "Who Got Liz Gardner" but more so in "Discovering Arugula".

He's real, respectful, balanced ( for the most part) and romantic without being a purple prose pansy. He is a man and acts like one; calling Liz on her crap and not taking anything lying down...except maybe...

In the meantime, he wants to grow with Liz, not dominate or repress her.

[Nina]

2.) nobody thinks there's anything wrong at all about meek little Peeta being emotionally knocked around by rough, abrasive Katniss (when, were those roles reversed, people would likely have a LOT to say). 

I didn't like Peeta for this reason.

[LateToTheParty]

@e99,

Middle-ground nominee: Adm. Miles Vorkosigan. When Lois McMaster Bujold's purple-prose-pansy, Miles is asked, by Elena, (the love of his young life) to marry her to another man, (as their liege) the idea of "permitting/denying" her request never crosses his mind. He expresses pain and "it ain't fair," emotions but above all else, he considers her his equal if not superior. And the idea of objectifying her never crosses his mind. That's who I'd like to be when I grow up.