I'm back with a slightly different version of my query letter, and I could really use some extra eyes to iron this out some. I sent out a couple of my older version, and I haven't had any bites yet, so I thought I rework this thing again. All help is much appreciated.
Dear AGENT ,
Sometimes Cameron Nevaeh prays for an angel to save her from her boring, normal life of a cocktail waitress. But she never actually believed in angels, shapeshifters, or even descendants from that old biblical story Daniel in the Lion’s Den. After all, supernatural creatures are from stories. Or so she thought.
Abducted and forced to sign a contract with the Heavensend, twenty-four year old Cameron soon comes to understand the reality in all of those stories. Bound to Heaven and sworn to protect their beasts, she is known as a Familiar, a portal through which the power of Heaven can be accessed—but that doesn’t mean she’s holy. In fact, Cameron works as a cocktail waitress who spends more time fending off drunken men than perfecting her morality.
When a member of the Heavensend is murdered at the hand—er, wing—of a Fallen Angel (known as a Tengu), Cameron’s immoral persona becomes . . .well, sinful. Hell-bent on avenging the death of one of her own and slaying the Tengu, Cameron turns to Jack, the one person she feels she can trust, a lion shifter.
Cameron and Jack learn that the Tengu are harvesting Familiars in hopes of controlling the magic of Heaven and winning dominion over all creation, making Cameron a crucial target of the Tengu’s aggression. The bond between the Familiar and her Charge, known by all as the deepest bond on earth, grows into passion as Cameron and Jack do everything within their power to kill the Tengu. If they fail, not only will their heavenly bond be severed, but the earth will fall into the hands of hell.
FAMILIAR SPIRIT is an urban fantasy novel complete at 76,000 words and is the first in a potential series. I have workshopped this novel at the Gotham Writers online workshop. I would be happy to send a full or partial upon request.
I appreciate your time and consideration,