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Lance C.
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« on: September 06, 2012, 04:39:48 PM » |
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The novel I have in the query-go-round has a problem: it shares its title (Identity, an international thriller) with at least 24 other novels.
I've looked for a replacement, with the #1 requirement that it not show up in page after page of Amazon listings. (The #2 requirement: that it not sound like a Ludlum ripoff.) So far, these are the candidates:
Doha 12 Alias Eldar The Qatari List
1) Would any of these titles turn you off so much you wouldn't bother with the book? Would any of them capture your fancy enough to get you to read the back cover copy or preview pages?
2) Look below at the proposed back-cover copy (below). Does it explain any/all of these titles adequately? If you got to this point, would any of the proposed titles still confuse you or turn you off?
Thanks for your help.
Jake Eldar’s and Miriam Schaffer’s names may kill them.
Jake manages a bookstore in Brooklyn; Miriam is a secretary at a Philadelphia law firm. Both grew up in Israel, saw combat in the Israeli armed forces and emigrated to build new lives in America. Neither knows the other exists…until the Israeli intelligence agency Mossad uses their identities in an operation to assassinate a high-ranking Hezbollah commander in Doha, Qatar.
Now Hezbollah plans to kill them both.
Jake, Miriam and ten other innocents in five countries – the Doha 12 – wake up to find their identities stolen and their lives caught between Mossad and Hezbollah in an international game of murder and reprisal. Jake stumbles upon Hezbollah’s plot but is unable to convince the police it exists. When his wife is murdered in a botched hit meant for him, Jake joins forces with Miriam to outrun and outfight their pursuers while protecting his young daughter.
Hezbollah, however, has a fallback plan: hundreds of people will die if Jake and Miriam survive.
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LateToTheParty
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« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2012, 04:58:21 PM » |
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I have a personal preference for THE QATARI LIST, but DOHA 12 better reflects the story.
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Critiques should spur growth and improvement. Neither is painless.
I don't do personal attacks, defense/debate of work or grudges.
Remember, my comment's worth exactly what you paid for it. Use it, ignore it or PM-me and I'll remove it.
Buona fortuna!
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bodwen
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« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2012, 05:30:20 PM » |
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I'd vote for "THE Doha 12"
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Mere Joyce
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« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2012, 06:42:04 AM » |
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Yeah, I think Doha 12 is a good representation of the story as well
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WIP #1: YA - 90k - Querying WIP #2: MG - 46k - Querying WIP #3: YA - 73k - Completed/Editing My Blog: http://merejoyce.blogspot.comTwitter: @MereJoyceWrites
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Falen
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« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2012, 08:12:08 AM » |
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After reading the back cover, i like all 3 of them
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koevoet
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« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2012, 11:07:12 AM » |
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I like Doha 12 - it's got the "wow" factor! 
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River
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kitty sniper
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« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2012, 06:44:18 AM » |
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How about the Quitara 12 or even just Quitara. This sound like an original title and rolls easy off the tongue. When readers come across names or words that are impossible to pronounce, it takes them out of the story.
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"Rejection is hard, no doubt. But regret is harder. Keep writing." dscanon1
For Mal and the crew of Serenity.
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Lance C.
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« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2012, 11:38:12 PM » |
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Thanks, everyone. As you can see from my signature, I went with Doha 12. It's now out for the ultimate vote -- we'll see soon if I chose wisely.
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Michelle
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« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2012, 02:31:04 PM » |
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I'm late to the party, but I also liked all of them 
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River
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kitty sniper
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« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2012, 08:20:47 AM » |
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After reading your query again I am changing my vote to the Doha 12. Just curious-what does the word Doha mean?
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"Rejection is hard, no doubt. But regret is harder. Keep writing." dscanon1
For Mal and the crew of Serenity.
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Lance C.
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« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2013, 11:56:07 PM » |
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Doha is the capital of Qatar. It's where the inciting incident -- the Mossad hit on the Hezbollah guy -- takes place.
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MichelleG
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« Reply #11 on: January 26, 2013, 07:18:30 PM » |
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I like Doho 12, I would note that someone in the thread called it The Doho 12 - I like that the best.
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