First 5 pages

[violet]

Hi all-

I'm struggling here...and would be curious to hear your thoughts. My first 5 pages are not what I would call EXCITING. 2 major plot points get covered in the first 5 pages and I think they're decently written. But there's no murder, sex or explosions of any kind. By page 9, things get exciting but there's no way to get to that action sooner...trust me, I've tried.

The jury is still out about my first 5 because one agent only requested the first 5 pages and rejected me. Another read the entire ms and really liked it. 2 partials are still out there but one I'm starting to have a bad feeling about since the agent tends to respond quickly and it's been 5+ weeks...

I've read various articles--some say the reader needs to be engaged by page 5, others by page 10, and I just read that one agent gives it to page 50 to feel compelled or not by the story / writing.

Thoughts?

[Coldfeet]

Violet,

It seems to vary by agent, and likely by genre.  My sense, and I can't give you anything concrete to back it up, is that you need to have something to draw the reader in, but action isn't the only way to do so.  Strong voice and engaging characters work just as well to propel things along, and are certainly better than forced action.

If you want a fresh pair of eyes I'm happy to read five pages for you and tell you where it falls on my attention grabbing meter.

And it seems everything in Agentville has been moving more slowly this spring.  It may be that five weeks isn't  good sign, but it could also mean the agent is pondering, or writing up notes for you, or just up to her/his elbows in other stuff.  Did JB voice any concerns about a slow start? 

[bodwen]

It isn't the excitement that draws the reader in, it is the sense of conflict: the hero either having a problem he can't easily solve or wanting something he can't easily have.  The murder, sex, or the explosion is just a graphic and easily identifiable vehicle for presenting the conflict.  But you can achieve similar result by more subtle means. 

Example, your protagonist wants to exit a freeway using her typical offramp, only today, some jerk won't let her merge into the exit lane.  Eventually she's within sight of the offramp so she slams on accelerator and darts in front of him, while he brakes and blares his horn at her.  Then they drive their separate ways.  There nothing unusual or earthshattering about that scenario, but do that right and you can get a strong emotional response from most readers.

But the opening doesn't have to be powerful.  It just has to present you character and a problem in such a way that the reader can decide if they care if she succeeds or not.

[violet]

Both of you-well said!

I feel better already...