trimming synopsis to 1 page HELP!!!

[Kimmy]

for the YA contest next week.  One page is about 250 words, right?  Now its about 450.  Any ideas on what I can cut and still keep it smooth and telling the storyline?  Thanks, all help is greatly appreciated!

PAST LIVES

When ELIZABETH GRAYSON meets newcomer CHRIS EDWARDS on the first day of her senior year of high school, she believes she has found her soul mate. For seventeen-year-old Liz, it's almost as if her life is complete when she and Chris fall in love, sharing the feeling that they are connected on a deeper level.

But when perfect-in-every-way MINA MANSON moves to town, she immediately sets her sights on Chris. Liz doesn't appreciate Mina's disregard for her, nor the blatant flirting with her boyfriend. But Chris is blind to Mina's intentions and his loyalty lies with Liz.

Liz makes an appointment with the new guidance counselor, JEWELS, to discuss her relationship with Chris and Mina's interference.  They talk about the existence of soul mates and the possibility that Liz, Chris, and Mina may have known each other in another life, prompting Liz to do some research online.

Through the research, Liz comes across old newspaper articles with photos of  people who closely resemble her, Chris and Mina.  She's convinced the three of them knew each other in those lives, and based on the articles, the consequences were deadly.  Realizing the threat that Mina presents to them from their past history, Liz confides her fears to Chris.  But Chris is too logical to believe in reincarnation.  What he does believe in is Liz’s jealousy.

Mina  tries to convince Chris that Liz is going crazy, pursuing him to her own ends.  What Mina doesn’t tell Chris is that she’s done her own homework and knows even more about their past than Liz   She successfully convinces him that Liz needs space and manipulates him into breaking up with her.  Mina takes advantage of the situation and tries to worm her way into Chris's heart.

Shortly after, all three end up at the same Halloween party. While in costume, Liz is able to get close enough to Mina to record her having a conversation  where she admits to everything Liz has suspected about the past.  The conversation is presented to an incredulous Chris in front of Mina.  Mina denies everything despite the proof of her own words.  Chris finally sees through her lies and asks Liz to forgive him.  Now aware of the truth, Chris and Liz go to leave the party together when Mina grabs Liz by the hair, telling her that this isn't over yet.

After the party, Mina gets taken out of school, Liz gets her soulmate back, and Chris accepts their unusual shared history.  Chris presents Liz with a beautiful Christmas gift that represents their eternal love -- a past, present, and future ring.
 

[Axordil]

Here's 238 words.  You could drop a few choice adjectives back in to give it more of your voice, and smooth it over.

When ELIZABETH GRAYSON meets CHRIS EDWARDS on the first day of school, she believes he's her soul mate. For seventeen-year-old Liz, the deeper connection she feels for Chris becomes complete when they fall in love.

Then too-perfect MINA MANSON appears and immediately sets her sights on Chris. Liz resents this and Mina's disdain. At least Chris remains loyal, and indifferent to Mina.

Liz meets with the new counselor, JEWELS, to discuss Chris—and Mina's interference.  They discuss the possibility that Liz, Chris, and Mina knew each other in a previous life.  Liz researches the notion online and comes across old news photos closely resembling her, Chris and Mina. Based on the articles with the photos, the consequences of their past life connections were deadly: (insert actual crime here).  Liz confides her fears to Chris, but he's too rational to buy reincarnation, instead interpreting her actions as jealousy.

Mina, who knows even more about the three's past, manipulates him into breaking up with Liz.  When all three attend a Halloween party, a costumed Liz records Mina admitting to her past life's crimes.  Liz plays the recording to Chris in Mina's presence, and despite Mina's denial, he sees through her lies and asks Liz to forgive him.  Before Chris and Liz leave together, Mina grabs Liz's hair and threatens her.

Mina leaves school.  Chris accepts his shared history with Liz, and presents her with a ring representing their eternal love.

[tm9410]

Hi, Kimmy,

I am under the impression that a query is supposed to stick to approximately 250 words, but that a synopsis is closer to 500. I believe you can still fit that one one page (a printed page isn't the same as a book page). If this is the case, your current version is fine.

I may be wrong though. I am interested to hear what everyone else has to say.

Tamara

[Axordil]

I just assumed the contest had its own peculiar rule.    250 words is one page, more or less, IF you are using a monospaced font like courier 12 and double spacing.  And short words  . 

[tm9410]

Synopsis don't have a double spaced format (except between paragraphs), therefore I think 500 words or less would qualify as a single page.

Kimmy, I think you're fine...

Tamara

[Axordil]

The current synopsis certainly fit on one page when I copied it over to Word to fiddle with it.

[Kimmy]

You guys are the best!  Thanks for the time and debate!  The reason to cut it to one page is the YA contest for next week.  She wants a one page synopsis and the first five pages.  I was told that 250 words is about one page.  I dont want to not follow the rules and get discarded, so I would rather make it just what they want.  Is one page 250? Or closer to 300?  Thanks for all your help!  I am tweaking the ms now and working hard!

[Kimmy]

PS I read that a one page synopsis is single spaced also.

[tm9410]

Kimmy

I think the 250 words you are referring to is an approximation of how many words there are per page in a finished book. I don't think it has anything to do with a synopsis. I think a synopsis of 500 words or less would qualify as a single page for the purpose of the contest.

Tamara

[Magic_Seeker]

  I agree with Tamara.

Most one page synopses are expected to be single spaced.  One single spaced page will hold about 500 words.

I think you'll be fine.   

[Kimmy]

Thanks guys. IF thats the case then I can keep my 430ish word original synopsis. 

[Kimmy]

Mary L, Are you going to enter the YA contest or the one in NY?  Which story are you working on submitting?  I was checking out your website!