Hi, I like the story too. Nice and to the point. Just a few minor comments below.
Arianna
WALKING THE LINE
Walking the Line is the story of CHANCE MARTIN, a fourteen year old boy struggling to conceal his shortcomings from a family he desperately wants to keep. (I'm always saying what I've read, but that is because that's all I know about this business. Anyway, I've read in WM that you are never ever supposed to "tell" such things in your synopsis. I think this is borderline because it's obviously an intro, but it is probably better in a cover letter or in the initial query. By the time they read the synopsis, they should be able to figure this out for themselves. The next graph is a stronger opening anyway.
When Chance’s father dies, Chance falls under the care of DANNY CHRISTOPHER, an optimistic social worker determined not only to help Chance pass eighth grade, but also to recapture the affections of his an (This isn't really all that much more clear but probably would clue in the reader faster and it is technically grammatically correct.)estranged wife, RACHEL, who is suffering from the emotional effects of infertility. Danny convinces Rachel to assume custody of Chance in hopes that her background in education will afford him the opportunity to salvage his failing grades. What the Christophers don’t realize is that Chance’s academic deficiencies are not the result of poor study habits, but the result of an undiagnosed learning disability—dyslexia. (If they don't know it, how does the reader know it without a diagnosis? Just jumped out at me. I assume it is complicated and hard to put in a synopsis but if it jumped out at me, it might jump out at someone else.) Desperate to keep his grades up so the Christophers will let him stay on the football team, but equally desperate to keep his learning problem a secret, Chance makes a series of risky—sometimes illegal—decisions, often at the coercion of his long-time and oft-abused friend, RUSSELL KELLEY.
As the months pass, Chance grows accustomed to the normalcy of his new life. The Christopher’s work out their marital problems and, for awhile at least, life is good. However, it isn’t long before Chance’s dishonesty catches up with him. When a teacher discovers that he’s forged his foster mother’s signature to a bad report card, Rachel learns that Chance is not the perfect boy he seems. Angry that she’s been deceived, she confronts him, expressing her disappointment in no uncertain terms. Afraid he’s about to be sent to a group home, Chance agrees to run away with Russell and his brother, Mikey. The three pile into Mikey’s Camaro and head for the coast.
Only after receiving a message from Rachel does Chance accept what he’s hoped all along: that while the Christophers may not approve of his actions, their love for him is unconditional. When the Kelley brothers stop for gas, Chance decides to inform them of his plans to return home. Unfortunately, his decision comes too late as and upon entering the station he discovers Russell and Mikey in the midst of a hold up. Shots are fired and the elderly attendant falls to the ground. In a matter of seconds, Chance must decide whether to abandon his hopes of making things right with Danny and Rachel, (no comma) or stay with the wounded attendant and risk the chance of being sent to jail. In the end, he finds that the relationship he’s built with the Christophers has given him the strength he needs to do the right thing. The story concludes with Chance’s expression of hope that the judge hearing his case will grant him probation and allow him to resume his life with the people he now realizes mean more to him than anything else in the world.
