I am so sorry, Kimmy. I know how it much it hurts.
I too have received a few rejections in my day. I felt so bad I considered giving up, once. Fortunately, my best friend, Leon helped me get through it. I’m willing to share that exchange with you. I’ll never forget his helpful words.
Leon read the letter and said, “Another rejection. That makes twelve in one week. Man, you must be doing something wrong.”
I wiped a tear from my better eye. “Like what?”
“Well, remember when you tried to become a famous artist and nobody wanted to buy any of your paintings?”
“And what did I tell you?”
“You said I should use more colors.”
“And what did you do?”
“I kept using the same colors.”
“And what happened?”
“I nearly starved to death so I gave up becoming a famous artist to become a famous writer.”
Leon nodded. “My point exactly.”
“I don’t understand. What point?”
“You gave up. You put down your bushes and paints before somebody recognized your talent.”
“Are you saying I’m a better painter than I am a writer?"
"I'm saying you're never gonna be a better anything, if you don’t stick with something.”
“But I threw my paint-bushes and oil paints away.”
“All the more reason to stick with writing.”
Kimmy, if writing a great novel was easy, everybody could do it. You are already way ahead of a lot of folks, including me. I’ve never received a single request for a full. You have. You should be proud, even if it was ultimately rejected. Rejections take a little bit out of us, but one success can add a whole lot back in. Keep writing and one day someone will see the portrait of a talented writer.
P.S. I mean it. All of it.