QT's Cracked Crystal Ball

[Kaedin]

Abi throws a fit when she realizes that she is a figment of Zoe's imagination and since we all know that Zoe is a figment of Audal's imagination... that means that Abi is Audal's 3rd cousin.  Imagine that!

[audal]

(HILARIOUS TYPO DIG: Who'd wanna mess with Abi if she has the strength to throw a fir?!)

Kaedin, perplexed by her own role in this silly saga, will explore the longest branches of her family tree (about the same length as a fir's branches), and ultimately come up with a head-scratching conclusion.

Her ancestors were in fact the first smileys to set foot on North America.

  < this one here is her favorite cousin.

[elknutswife]

Hmmmmm, audal's future is cloudy, but I think I am seeing the world's first future told almost entirely in smileys.....yes, it's clearing......I see  oooohhhh!  wait! no! wrong future......k, there we go....I see Aud, in his tavern minding his own business when suddenly  bursts through the door, chased by    Aud tries to  but the nefarious  (having been turned by the  in his mix) suddenly    Aud stares, mesmerized and then to the all powerful      ---- oh, ooops, sorry, looks like Aud's future simply holds       I must have been reading the book instead   

[audal]

(Elky is setting a record for karma points earned in a single month... with the exception of when Pat dumps fitty on someone for their b'day!  Karma for the much awaited return of the all-smiley post!)

As for Elky's future... I see a huge gathering at her front door.  News crews, the executive branch of the National Audubon Society, and the makers of March Of The Penguins all show up at once and demand to know:  "Elky, could you please explain to the world why you're promoting penguin violence?"

[elknutswife]

(ummmm....cause it's freakin hilarious!!  )

I see Audal transported to the Antarctic, where he is able to interview the hapless penguin who unwittingly was swatted into the cold sea.  When asked what happened, the poor victim said "I don't know, I was just walking along when WHAP!  The next thing I knew I was face down in the icey water...see like this!" At which point the penguin raises his fin and shows Aud exactly what occurred.....it'll take weeks of soaking in hot koolaid to thaw you......

[audal]

(Disclaimer on previous fortune:  There is an email in my inbox dated 8/13/2004.  A friend sent me the very same Arctic Beatdown clip... and I've yet to delete it because, as Elky said, It's freakin' hilarious!)

*Rubs Crystal Ball, Crystal Ball gets turned on*

Given her sudden penchant for talking penguins, Elky will soon drop all projects on the drawing board, and instead channel all her energies into a strangely Orwellian piece called Bird Farm.

The novel will be a worldwide hit.  Danny Devito will reprise his famed role as The Penguin in the film adaptation.  Joun Mellancamp will rework "Rain On The Scarecrow" for the soundtrack.

And all eyes will turn toward her follow-up novel... 2084.

[Emeraldsky]

An invitation will come in the mail and you will accept. The invitation will take you on a plane to Palau. Hmmmmmm. Yes, it seems someone submitted a videotape audition (of you) for the next survivor series, along with printings from this forum.. and wait..... you make it to the final four... and and ... yep. You win the million dollars! 

Wait there's more!

Zoe can't resist your new fortune and comes back to you... Oh dear. Well, turns out it's a good thing. I guess. You tell her she wasn't the right character for the plot after all, and that someone named Chloe has made a fine replacement.

[elknutswife]

(ummm, aud, should we leave you alone with your turned on crystal ball?    )


Emmy, you and your twin Elky will finally meet the motherboard who gave you up for adoption upon discovering your writer tendencies - you discover that you are, in fact, really Elky and are forced to switch identities with her.......you end up comatose in a mental institute from the shock


(you know I love ya my twin!!!)   

[Abigail]

(I too have this same penquin clip saved on my pc from an email of years past...however, mine was sent by my sister saying this is what we should do to our evil wicked step mother...yes she is the fairly step mother of old times 20!...cheered us up royally.)



Elky drops dead from the grief of emsky lying helplessly in a mental institute, which snaps Emsky right out of her shocked state.  Not being able to bear life without Elky, Emsky decides to place Elky in a cryogenic state.  Scientific advancements allow Elky to be defrosted in time to write yet another bestseller...3084.

[Lotheus]

I see...  I see... Someone throttling a verb!  It's gasping and trying to cry out, but the adverb is too tight around its neck!  My God, Abi!  How could you???

[joanjunkmail]

CoolHand Ab continues when the verbinator is caught and sent to CampGrammar, a prison farm for incorrible writers.  Loth, the warden, sees the pain in Ab's now-sober face and refuses to let the hard-a$$, sadistic guard have his usual privileges with the new arrival....what happens in between is blurred....but, there's rather funny scene with a pack of dogs and red pepper....oh!  phew!  luckily, Ab gets away and Loth is NOT implicated, although he looks a little fishy....

[Kaedin]

Joan is going to get arrested for stalking Laverne and Shirley...

[joanjunkmail]

Joan is going to get arrested for stalking Laverne and Shirley...

< but my heart yearns for squiggy >

[audal]

Joan will actually get everyone's attention at work tomorrow & belt out a signature song from her beloved show.

"You know I go from rags to riches!" she'll sing in this overly theatrical tone...  30 minutes later, people in white coats will arrive at the factory.  Joan will say, "Are you people crazy - I've been working here at the Shotz Brewery for almost 6 weeks now!  I have tenor!"

Which she'll prove by singing again.

[Kaedin]

Audal and Zoe finally merge back in to one personality.  Ooops, that sounded wrong... oh well.  *snicker*