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Abigail
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« on: November 24, 2007, 06:52:23 AM » |
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Here is a fun little game...CHANGING ADVERBS.
The trend these days is to try and not use adverbs when you can. Adverbs are almost considered cheating, a writer's shortcut. Of course, this point is debatable. What is for certain however, is that a simple "He looked at me oddly" doesn't take up nearly as many words as "He sent me a look that should have made me recant my earlier statement, beg his forgiveness, and then banish myself into exile"
Here is the premise of the game...
1. You will be provided an adverb from the post before you. 2. Write a sentence using the adverb. 3. Write the sentence without using the adverb. 4. Leave an adverb for the next player.
So, if I received the adverb 'brusquely' my post would be...
"You use too many adverbs," her editor said brusquely.
"You use too many adverbs," her editor said, crumpling the manuscript and tossing it into the trash.
'mundanely'
And then, the next poster would play the game. It should be fun. So, be creative, put on your thinking caps! Who will be the first player?
Have fun, Abi
Here is the adverb...
'MUNDANELY'
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« Last Edit: November 24, 2007, 06:55:25 AM by Abigail »
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Literature is alive...don't strangle it with superfluous verbiage!  Check out my Adventures in Writing!
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elknutswife
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« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2007, 10:42:04 AM » |
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all right, i'll take a whack at it....unfortunately i am the adverb queen and have been slammed by my crit mates on more than one occassion  "Your manuscript is just mundanely written," the editor said with a yawn. (I know, bad sentence, but this is amazingly one of the adverbs I don't really use - now amazingly or unfortunately are another story)  "Your manuscript is just too ordinary, boring, nothing stands out," the editor said with a yawn. Next abverb - suddenly
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My Books: Homework Helpers: Essays and Term Papers (Career Press Jan 2011) To Trust a Thief (Entangled Scandalous Jan 2013) Blood Blade Sisters trilogy (Entangled Scandalous 2013) Wish Upon a Star (Entangled Ever After Oct 2013) www.authormichellemclean.com
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joanjunkmail
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zombies ate my dingo
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« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2007, 12:15:06 PM » |
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oh, suddenly - my mot de la morte! after reading about 500 words, i realize that the entire story is taking place in a funhouse, coz everything happens 'suddenly'
"Suddenly, the door opened."
"John walked into the house."
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be nice to me or zombies will eat you in my novel Proud Member of NGHS (even though I'm a pirate)
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Chelc
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« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2007, 12:55:07 PM » |
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oh, suddenly - my mot de la morte! after reading about 500 words, i realize that the entire story is taking place in a funhouse, coz everything happens 'suddenly'
"Suddenly, the door opened."
"John walked into the house."
hey, you didn't list the next adverb to be used, yo!
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Abigail
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« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2007, 01:33:30 PM » |
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Chelc, I'm shocked!  You were left with an open and free choice of adverbs...I expected more from the oh-so-great-one-who-can-carry-on-conversations-alone for nearly twenty posts! Here, I'll leave you another adverb so you can play. The game MUST go on... 'IMPATIENTLY'
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joanjunkmail
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zombies ate my dingo
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« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2007, 04:16:08 PM » |
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Chelc, I'm shocked!  yeah, I'm shocked too - she read the rules! so, I apologize - kids were entering, expecting to be fed, as i was typing. i abdicated my game duty in favor of my motherly duty... i'm sure i'll be forgiven (especially since the food was really lousy, for some reason - even the beer! NEVER buy beer based on the promotional 'cuteness' - elf beer is so freakin' sweet it hurts your teeth. live-n-learn, eh?)
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be nice to me or zombies will eat you in my novel Proud Member of NGHS (even though I'm a pirate)
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Abigail
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« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2007, 05:09:48 PM » |
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Chelc, I'm shocked!  yeah, I'm shocked too - she read the rules! Don't be too shocked that she read the rules...they were ONLY two posts above...had it been three?  ?
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joanjunkmail
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zombies ate my dingo
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« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2007, 05:13:40 PM » |
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"You didn't leave an adverb for us," chelc complained impatiently.
"You didn't leave an adverb for us," chelc complained with an uncharacteristic inability to wait. (ha!)
INACCURATELY
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be nice to me or zombies will eat you in my novel Proud Member of NGHS (even though I'm a pirate)
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Chelc
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« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2007, 06:55:05 PM » |
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"one plus one plus two plus one equals four!" said JJM inaccurately. "one plus one plus two plus one equals four!" said JJM with a complete ineptitude for the basic laws of mathmatics.
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joanjunkmail
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zombies ate my dingo
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« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2007, 07:25:26 PM » |
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<i'm a CPA, sweetie!>
AHEM! where's the next adverb??!! HUH?!?!
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« Last Edit: November 24, 2007, 07:27:21 PM by joanjunkmail »
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be nice to me or zombies will eat you in my novel Proud Member of NGHS (even though I'm a pirate)
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Chelc
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« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2007, 09:18:10 PM » |
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oh! omg! how did I forget that?! jesus, that was seriously hypocritical... okay, next adverb:
incredulously
because I use that word waaaaaayyy too much. and need ideas to help me stop using it.
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elknutswife
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« Reply #11 on: November 24, 2007, 10:59:07 PM » |
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k, how about
She stared at him increduously.
She stared at him, her mouth dropping open in disbelief.
and the next one is.....Inconceivably (cause I just love that line from PB - Inconceivable!)
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My Books: Homework Helpers: Essays and Term Papers (Career Press Jan 2011) To Trust a Thief (Entangled Scandalous Jan 2013) Blood Blade Sisters trilogy (Entangled Scandalous 2013) Wish Upon a Star (Entangled Ever After Oct 2013) www.authormichellemclean.com
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Abigail
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« Reply #12 on: November 25, 2007, 02:33:55 AM » |
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Elky's penguin behaved inconceivably.
Elky's penguin behaved in a manner that was unjustifiable and inconceivable to say the least.
'ADMIRABLY'
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elknutswife
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« Reply #13 on: November 25, 2007, 12:12:59 PM » |
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Elky's penguin behaved admirably. Elky's penguin behaved in a manner that was justified, dignified, and admirable.  and next, how about..... 'ridiculously'
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My Books: Homework Helpers: Essays and Term Papers (Career Press Jan 2011) To Trust a Thief (Entangled Scandalous Jan 2013) Blood Blade Sisters trilogy (Entangled Scandalous 2013) Wish Upon a Star (Entangled Ever After Oct 2013) www.authormichellemclean.com
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Abigail
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« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2007, 03:12:49 PM » |
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Elky's penguin walked ridiculously close to his buddy.
Elky's penguin was ridiculous to think he could walk within flipper range of his jokester buddy and not get knocked into the ice.
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Literature is alive...don't strangle it with superfluous verbiage!  Check out my Adventures in Writing!
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