How to Write a Great Query Letter

[Bettie Sharpe]

If they're our friends, occasionally poking a little good natured fun at them doesn't seem inappropriate.

Aaaaaa-men.

[gypsygurl]

If they're our friends, occasionally poking a little good natured fun at them doesn't seem inappropriate.

Aaaaaa-men.

I think Abi's comment wasn't meant as literally "FRIENDS" like buddies.  I believe she meant friends as in they're on our side.  (Abi?)  Poking fun at them does seem, to me, to be inappropriate.  You're entering (hopefully) into a business relationship. 

That would depend on whether said agent possesses the cognitive dexterity of a sentient being or a cinderblock.

For instance, I know Bettie's story, and her beating of the odds (120+ queries people! And after all that she STILL found her perfect agent!) so while she can afford to say things like that, I wouldn't, no matter how I felt.  Before OR after signing.  Perhaps it's just how I feel.   I just can't wrap my head around that being professional...perhaps it's the cinderblock in me!  Not looking for a brawl or anything, but I just don't understand how calling agents names is good natured teasing?  Could you explain it to me?

[Abigail]

If they're our friends, occasionally poking a little good natured fun at them doesn't seem inappropriate.

Aaaaaa-men.

I think Abi's comment wasn't meant as literally "FRIENDS" like buddies.  I believe she meant friends as in they're on our side.  (Abi?)  Poking fun at them does seem, to me, to be inappropriate.  You're entering (hopefully) into a business relationship. 

That would depend on whether said agent possesses the cognitive dexterity of a sentient being or a cinderblock.

For instance, I know Bettie's story, and her beating of the odds (120+ queries people! And after all that she STILL found her perfect agent!) so while she can afford to say things like that, I wouldn't, no matter how I felt.  Before OR after signing.  Perhaps it's just how I feel.   I just can't wrap my head around that being professional...perhaps it's the cinderblock in me!  Not looking for a brawl or anything, but I just don't understand how calling agents names is good natured teasing?  Could you explain it to me?

You're absolutely correct GG...I did mean this as the agents are on our side.  Everyone knows that writing, publishing, marketing are all subjective fields.  Nobody can please everybody.  What you may pick up in a book store to read somebody else wouldn't dream of touching.  Agents are the same way.  And really, wouldn't you rather have an agent that wants to read your story than one who will represent anything, but doesn't have the drive to sell your work?  (Bettie, I think you had this problem too, right?)  I agree that professionalism dictates a certain level of decorum and grace.

[joanjunkmail]

oh, you two are great!  what a great conversation about this topic.  has anyone noticed that this type of thing has been happening a lot the last few days around here - between jeanneT and aud on the blackrosewriting thread, with marva et al on the whining thread, probably others, too, that i've missed.

i am lovin' it.  straight-up advice is wonderful, too, but these dialogs really do make this business seem accessible, even when it's kinda demoralizing.

great way to open up a wednesday - thanks, guys

[JeanneT]

No, Abigail, I don't think a humorous comment that obviously shows nothing but one's own frustration is either unprofessional or an attack on agents.

Bettie's comment and mine that followed shows that we are at times frustrated with this process. Agents know it is a frustrating process for authors. It's no news to them. Any agent who would take such comments personally would be an agent I wouldn't care to work with anyway. I rather think they want their possible clients to keep a sense of humor in the course of things--a sense of humor... You remember that, right?

A sense of humor is valuable in all relations, including professional ones. Real professionals don't think that their sense of humor has to be extracted (by a surgical process, perhaps?)

Edit: Abigail, if you feel that you have way too much decorum to make or take an occasional joke, that's fine with me. But don't expect the same from me. I'm a simple genre writer, not the pope. And I happen to believe that the ability to see the humor in one's situation, even when it is difficult and one has just got ones' ten thousanth rejection, adds to ones grace rather than reducing it.

No, I don't want a brawl and you have every right to feel however you may feel on the subject. But please don't assume that if Marva or Bettie or I make a joke, that it means we are unprofessional. I have been a professional for some years now. If you think professionals never make jokes, you are simply mistaken. You don't have to think they're funny.

gypsygurl, I don't really know how old you are or your history, but I can only assume you've never been in the business world. If I could tell you the jokes that go on at a newspaper, I can only assume from your reaction to this very mild comment that you would run screaming.

Honestly, let's keep things in proportion or try.

Signed,
JeanneT who is taking a break for a few days because this is getting way too over-sensitive

[Bettie Sharpe]

Since it's so well-stated, I'm content to let JeanneT's comment speak for me too, adding only that literary agents are not deities to be feared and worshipped, but simply a means to achieve one's end. As in every other profession, the best (and most secure) of them will have a sense of humor, including the ability to occasionally laugh at themselves.

It's interesting to note that many years ago, it was actually the agents who went hunting for writers to represent. That was back in the days before everybody and Aunt Nellie's cat decided that they could write books. Brave New World, and all that.

[gypsygurl]

My opinion is this.  If I went on a board that was set up for agents and found that they were venting by calling the writers childish names, I wouldn't find the humor in it.  Would you?  If you came across an agent blog that said writers have the "the cognitive dexterity of cinderblocks" would you want to work with them?  It's not a matter of raising agents to some kind of pedestal and making them "deities to be feared and worshiped."  For me, it's a matter of mutual respect. 

As to the personal attack on my background, Jeanne, I do have experience in the business world, and if we're checking into who's going to run away upset well....

My point is this.  Posts on these boards are public.  If you go around posting about how stupid and awful agents are and then get signed, it's not like you can just erase all of your posts before your agent sees your true personality and view of their colleagues.  Oh wait...

[Legionsynch]

Yes, the process of finding an agent is stressful, and difficult, and sometimes people need to vent.

But the point is, as GG said, that this is a public forum.  Your discourse, once put out there, is available to the masses.   Some agents will look you up.  It happens.  But if you get an agent, and you get a book deal, then the more popularity you achieve in the public's eye, the more people will look into your background.  And that's when the inappropriate comments come back at you.

Some people are fine with blasting agents openly and proudly.  Some people also let their work stand on the merits of a family member, rather than on their own.  But I don't think everyone believes that agents should have a sense of humor - otherwise, we wouldn't have people who sign with an agent, and then immediately make sure everything that they've said in a public forum is deleted so they cannot be held accountable.

If you don't like the reaction you get from stating your opinion?  Then either toughen up, or don't state such a vociferous one.  Baiting and attacking people isn't the kind of style people here enjoy.  If you do?  Then by all means, do that.  You just might be happier somewhere else, instead of having to run away because you don't like the reaction you're getting.

Just a few thoughts.

[JeanneT]

gypsygurl, that was not intended as an attack on you and I apologize if it came across that way. Do you suppose I may have felt that Bettie and I were being attacked, perhaps? Hmmmm?

And of course, I have seen agents criticise writers. They do it all the time. That's almost all that the famous Miss Snark did and that was, heaven knows, popular. I have made no comments on this forum that I would be ashamed or embarrassed for an agent to see.

I have nothing further to say on this thread which has grown unnecessarily heated. It isn't a crime to make a joke. I only logged in because of an email I received which led me to alter a previous post in another thread. I have no intention of taking part in some flame war with you, gypsygurl. If you don't think those comments of yours in your last post were a personal attack, I beg to differ.

I need to cool off before I say something I actually do regret, therefore I am taking a few days break. You are free to consider that "running away." I consider it a darn good idea anytime one feels angry on a forum.

[Bettie Sharpe]

If I went on a board...and found that they were venting by calling the writers childish names, I wouldn't find the humor in it.

How to account, then, for the wild popularity of the phony "Snark" persona?

If you came across an agent blog that said writers have the "the cognitive dexterity of cinderblocks" would you want to work with them?

Probably so, since I regard that observation as 96% accurate. 

For me, it's a matter of mutual respect.

Respect must be earned. Otherwise it's just knee-jerk servility. Not my cup of tea, but to each their own.

If you go around posting about how stupid and awful agents are and then get signed, it's not like you can just erase all of your posts before your agent sees your true personality and view of their colleagues.

Really? Hm, I'll have to bear that in mind. Fortunately, though, my agent digs both my views and personality.

[Lotheus]

As this discussion has wandered from the original topic and has strayed into more personal territory, I feel it is time to let it go.