How to Write a Great Query Letter

[Emeraldsky]

Noah Lukeman, author of The First Five Pages, The Plot Thickens, and A Dash of Style, has decided to make his e-book HOW TO WRITE A GREAT QUERY LETTER free, as a way to give back to the writing community. No strings attached!

http://www.lukeman.com/greatquery/download.htm

 

[MarvaD]

Thanks for the link.  Downloaded and I'll start reading tomorrow and wincing at my errors!

Kudos and  , Em.

[Nostrabuttus]

Noah Lukeman, author of The First Five Pages, The Plot Thickens, and A Dash of Style, has decided to make his e-book HOW TO WRITE A GREAT QUERY LETTER free, as a way to give back to the writing community. No strings attached!

http://www.lukeman.com/greatquery/download.htm

 

Emsky, I owe you BIG TIME. After reading Noah Lukeman’s e-book, I realize why my queries are being rejected. Instead of following Lukeman’s three paragraph rule, my queries are a lot closer to novellas.

Just to demonstrate the difference it makes, I took one of my rejected queries, and rewrote it using the three paragraph rule. The original version of my query for NO TEARS FOR JACK is in the World’s Worst Query Letters section of this forum.  Who would have ever guessed that? In case you didn’t, I have a link to it below.

http://querytracker.net/forum/index.php?topic=632.0

Below is the new and improved query, following Lukeman's three paragraph rule.


Tears and Cheers Literary Agency
Attn: Mrs. Red Ayes
28897 43th Street, Suite 678
New York, NY 10010

Attn: Mrs. Ayes:

I am writing to you because you represented It’s Hard to Love a Bonehead by Lillie Ann Lovegarth, and I feel my book is similar.

When a thirty-six-year-old bachelor is told he has less than a year to live, he decides to do something about his greatest regret, not settling down and having a family. The protagonist offers a financially strapped thirty-four-year-old widow title to his home, if she and her children will agree to live with him for one year, or until he dies. Wanting to experience life as a family man, the protagonist gets to deal with the problems of a teenage son and a teenage daughter while enjoying the adoration of six-year-old twin girls, who never got to know their father.

I write fiction for a living. So far, I am not doing so well financially, but it does seem to cover all of the cost of my emotional well being.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Marlene Lamont


What did I tell you? What an improvement it makes.

I hope everyone paid particular attention to the second paragraph. I crammed the synopsis into three sentences. Yep, that’s all you get to use for the second paragraph. Fortunately, Lukeman did not put a limit on the number of words you can put in each of those three sentences. I was pretty happy about that, since I have been known to use up to sixty words in a single sentence.

Armed with this new information, expect to see my name in the SUCCESS STORIES section of this forum, soon. The only limiting factor remaining for me, at this point, is that QT only lists the names of 1,111 literary agents. I’ll just call that my short list for now.

[Lotheus]

Great job on this info, Emsky!!  I put up a post on the QT blog about it to help spread the word, because EVERYONE who is anyone reads the blog.     Anyway, I think this is a HUGELY valuable tool and I am glad we have forum members who are keeping their eyes open for these sorts of resources.   

www.querytracker.blogspot.com

[paulwest]

Yes, Emeraldsky. Thanks loads for the link. I will read the book.

And Nostrabuttus, your query looks fine, except for one thing. I didn't get a sense of the trouble your MC gets himself into. While he enjoys the adoration of six-year-old twin girls, who never got to know their father, did his teen-ager kids cause him no end of trouble? What kind of trouble? Did he bite off more than he could chew with this arrangement?

You might want to hint at these kinds of things a bit stronger than you did. Just my opinion. Take it or leave it.

Paul

[Nostrabuttus]

And Nostrabuttus, your query looks fine, except for one thing. I didn't get a sense of the trouble your MC gets himself into. While he enjoys the adoration of six-year-old twin girls, who never got to know their father, did his teen-ager kids cause him no end of trouble? What kind of trouble? Did he bite off more than he could chew with this arrangement?

You might want to hint at these kinds of things a bit stronger than you did. Just my opinion. Take it or leave it.

Paul

Paul, Thank you for your input. You bring up an excellent point. The main character gets eaten by a bear, when he has to give his life to save his family. I thought that was just too horrible to actually put in the query. Lukeman only allows me to have three sentences for the synopsis part of my query. I'll take another look at it and try to come up with something else. Maybe I can expand each sentence a little more.

[paulwest]

Nostrabuttus,

You say Lukeman only allows three sentences, but who is Lukeman to make the rules sacrosanct? Do what you think is best. I don't think any one person's "how to write a query" advice/rules works for everyone.

[Bettie Sharpe]

You say Lukeman only allows three sentences, but who is Lukeman to make the rules sacrosanct? Do what you think is best.

              

[JeanneT]

Nostrabuttus,

You say Lukeman only allows three sentences, but who is Lukeman to make the rules sacrosanct? Do what you think is best. I don't think any one person's "how to write a query" advice/rules works for everyone.

And there are plenty of agents out there who disagree with Lukeman, Kristin Nelson, for instance. If you take four sentences to give a good hook, which is more important to an agent looking at it, the four sentences or the good hook?

[MarvaD]

I thought of Lukeman's 3-sentence rule as a target to try for.  It makes you cut the fat out.  If you end up with only three sentences, then you've got yourself a high-concept book OR your plot is too easy.

RUN SPOT RUN tells the tail of a little dog who can't run until urged on by his good friend, Timmy.

There you go.  A single sentence (and, yes, I misspelled tale).

[Bettie Sharpe]

If you take four sentences to give a good hook, which is more important to an agent looking at it, the four sentences or the good hook?

That would depend on whether said agent possesses the cognitive dexterity of a sentient being or a cinderblock.

[JeanneT]

Is sorely tempted to speculate about the number of agents (mainly those sending me rejections) who have the cognitive dexterity of cinderblocks but resists.

[Abigail]

If you take four sentences to give a good hook, which is more important to an agent looking at it, the four sentences or the good hook?

That would depend on whether said agent possesses the cognitive dexterity of a sentient being or a cinderblock.

Let's remember...AGENTS ARE OUR FRIENDS!!!!  We like them, we want them...we need them!

[joanjunkmail]

good point, abi - remember how many bad queries they've seen, after all.  not every query is as good as those which have been posted here in query tracker.

[JeanneT]

If they're our friends, occasionally poking a little good natured fun at them doesn't seem inappropriate.