QueryTracker Community
Writing => Community Fiction => Topic started by: bodwen on March 04, 2014, 08:55:36 PM
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Now look what you've done, Mooky. :wag:
Scene District 12. A cock crows. Two girls rise from bed.
Prim: Morning, Katniss.
Katniss: Morning, Prim. You're looking lovely this morning.
Prim: I wish I looked as lovely as you.
Katniss: Oh, pshaw. You're like all blonde and pretty and stuff. I'm like dark and skinny and crap.
Prim: Oh, yeah? Then how come I don't have a bunch of hot guys following me around everywhere I go?
Katniss: Them? They're just being polite and stuff. They pity me because my dad dying and crap. God damn, I'm hungry.
Prim: Oh, no! Why didn't you say something sooner. I'll go milk my goat!
Mother enters
Mom: Katniss. How are you this morning.
Katniss: (under her breathe) Well I'm cold and I'm hungry and I have a crick in my neck. But if I tell you any of that, you'll just be miserable worrying about me all day. You deserve some happiness, so I'll pretend I'm fine.
Mom: What was that?
Katniss: I said I'm fine.
Mom: Are you sure?
Katniss: Yes, mom, I'm sure. Now leave me alone and think of yourself for a change.
Mom: Ok, if you insist. I just wanted to bring you this dress and draw you a bubblebath and brush your hair and give you a makeover with all this stuff that I just spent my life savings on.
Katniss: Why?
Mom: Because you're the best daughter ever, and I can't have people thinking I don't appreciate it.
Katniss: Whatever.
[An hour later there is a knock on the door]
Peeta: Wow! You look beautiful!
Katniss: No I don't, but thanks anyway.
Gale: Hey Katniss, I'm here to walk you to the quad.
Peeta: No, I'm here to walk her to the quad.
[Give each other dirty looks]
Katniss: You can both walk me to the quad. Peeta, can you, like, go get Prim?
[To Gale after he leaves] I'm sorry I made out with Peeta. I only did it to make you jealous.
Gale: That's ok. I forgave you a long time ago.
Katniss: Only, now, I'm like, starting to fall for him, so I can't decide which of you I like better.
Gale: Take all the time you need, Catnip. I'm not going anywhere.
[Prim and Peeta return and they walk]
Peeta: You know, Katniss. You should consider becoming a career tribute. You'd win for sure.
Gale: Yeah. Then we can all hang out together at the winners' village.
Katniss: No way.
Prim: Oh, come on. The other tributes will surrender when they see how awesome you are.
Katniss: You guys are so funny.
Prim: Oh shoot. They are drawing the names already.
Effie: And the male tribute is: Peeta Mallarky!
Peeta: Gack!
Gale: Haha. Guess who has two thumbs and is going to end up with Katniss by default. This guy!
Prim: Oh, snap!
Katniss: Shush. They are announcing the female tribute.
Effie: And for female tribute: Primrose Everdeen!
Prim: No! Oh, no! They can't pick me! I'm the only doctor in the village! What if Katniss gets sick! I'm going to be so worried I won't be able to sleep! I'll lose for sure!
Katniss: Fiiiiine. I volunteer!
Crowd: KAT NISS! KAT NISS! KAT NISS!
Prim: Nooo!!! You can't take her! I won't let you!
Katniss: Oh come, on Prim, you suck at fighting and you know it. The guys are right. I'm going to win for sure.
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:clap: :clap: :clap:
Scene: The Train Ride
A somewhat drunken man, a very enigmatic woman, and Katniss and Peeta sit eating:
Katniss: *gobbles everything*
Peeta: I wish I was you, Katniss. I'd love to eat everything and not worry about my figure.
Katniss: Oh, you look fine. I'm gaining weight! *is beautiful and skinny*
Haymitch: *drinks*
Katniss: Haymitch, stop drinking, we need to discuss strategies for the games
Haymitch: *Immediately throws the liquor out the window* Yes, whatever you say! But it won't matter, because I'm sure you'll win.
Katniss: You expect too much of me, I'm just a poor girl from district 12.
Peeta: *under his breath* Who has every boy trailing after her
Katniss: What Peeta? *flips hair*
Peeta: *twitterpated* Uh Gah
Katniss: Oh, we're here, I guess we'll meet our stylists now.
Effie: Like you'll need them! You're stunningly attractive as you are--the sponsors will fall over themselves to get to you! You on the other hand *side eyes a Twitterpated Peeta* will need some work.
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:rof3: :rof3: :rof3:
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holy sh*t. I cannot describe how hard i giggled at this part:
Katniss: Them? They're just being polite and stuff. They pity me because my dad dying and crap. God damn, I'm hungry.
It was definitely the "god damn" that did me in
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That's some funny stuff. :clap:
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[Katniss and the others enter the style room and the others are immediately shoved to the side by a hundred screaming stylists.]
Stylist 1: It's her!
Stylist 2: OMG! OMG!
Stylist 3: Breathe! Don't forget to breathe!
Stylist 2: [Hands Katniss a pen] Will you autograph my shoulder?
[Katniss scribbles her name with a heart over the i]
Peeta: I bet you'll be never be washing that shoulder again.
Stylist 2: Hardy har, smartacre. It's a tattoo pen.
[Katniss is mobbed by stylists stroking her arms and running their fingers through her hair]
Stylist 3: How do you get your ringlets so perfectly tousled?
Katniss: I dunno. I kind of shake my head from side to side and it just falls that way.
Stylist 1: Skin: Aphrodite Olive #2. Hair: Dogwood Demigoddess #10. [The other stylists furiously scribble into their tablets.]
Katniss: I didn't know I'd get so many stylists on my style team.
Effie: [Laughs a high pitched laugh] Don't be silly! These are the stylists for the OTHER tributes. They're just here to try to poach some style tips from you.
Peeta: Hey! That's cheating!
Katniss: It's ok, Peeta. No sense in making this too easy for me.
Cinna: Shoo. Get lost. [All but three adoring stylists leave] Hello, I'm Cinna, your wardrobe guy. And these three are your stylists.
Katniss: Charmed, I'm sure.
Cinna: I made you a charcoal-dust colored dress, but to be honest, I like what you're wearing much better, so I'm just going to toss it in the trash.
Katniss: This old thing? Couldn't you at least liven it up a bit.
Cinna: What do you suggest?
Katniss: I don't know, like maybe have flames shoot out of it, or something?
Cinna: It's genius! I love it!
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So I'm working on my feminist/linguistic deconstruction of the Mary Sue trope. Would you mind if I added this at the bottom as bonus materials? With attribution, of course. (Attribution to screen name unless otherwise requested).
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Absolutely, I'd be honored.
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So I'm working on my feminist/linguistic deconstruction of the Mary Sue trope. Would you mind if I added this at the bottom as bonus materials? With attribution, of course. (Attribution to screen name unless otherwise requested).
After hearing that you had a redneck dialect I'm so excited to hear you go on a feminist rant.
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That was funny Bodwen and Kodi! Nice job. I, like totally, envy Katniss now! Ha!
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Haha!! :clap: