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Queries and Agents => Post your Elevator Pitch => Topic started by: jpm327 on June 20, 2018, 03:19:25 PM

Title: Preparing for PBPitch
Post by: jpm327 on June 20, 2018, 03:19:25 PM
My first time doing something like this - so...here's my pitch below:

Tired mother of 2 young kids comes home from work and invents a fun game to get some rest. She becomes “BABY MOMMY” and turns the tables on her kids! Then, they take care of her for a little while. The kids delight as they feed her, read stories and clean up!
Title: Re: Preparing for PBPitch
Post by: 007 fan on June 20, 2018, 05:58:30 PM
My first time doing something like this - so...here's my pitch below:

Tired mother of 2 young kids comes home from work and invents a fun game to get some rest. She becomes “BABY MOMMY” and turns the tables on her kids! Then, they take care of her for a little while. The kids delight as they feed her, read stories(,) and clean up!

This is so cute that I smiled when reading it!  :)

*Not sure about exclamation points in a pitch.

**I might have been a little heavy-handed on my suggested cuts, so let's see what others might say. Good luck with this!  :)
Title: Re: Preparing for PBPitch
Post by: jpm327 on June 21, 2018, 02:56:03 AM
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your edits, I’m so excited to pitch this book  :clap:
Title: Re: Preparing for PBPitch
Post by: NextChapter on June 21, 2018, 06:51:05 AM
My first time doing something like this - so...here's my pitch below:

Tired mother of 2two young kids comes home from work and invents a fun game to get some rest. She becomes BABY MOMMY and turns the tables on her kids!. Then, they take care of her for a little while. The kids delight as they feed her, read stories, and clean up!.

Most of this is just what 007 said. I would also spell out the number two, and not use quotes around what I assume is the name of the book. Your cute concept is sure to appeal to the little ones. Good luck!
Title: Re: Preparing for PBPitch
Post by: jpm327 on June 21, 2018, 08:07:49 AM
Thank you! Going to send out the morning pitch and then it says you can pitch again after 2 p.m. Thank you for all the advice! xo
Title: Re: Preparing for PBPitch
Post by: jpm327 on June 22, 2018, 09:05:55 AM
@007 so far nothing yet boooooo

But your comment made me so happy, just wanted to tell you that :) So thanks again!
Title: Re: Preparing for PBPitch
Post by: 24_Stars on September 10, 2018, 04:53:24 PM
I'd keep the first sentence and shorten the rest somehow.