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Queries and Agents => Query Review => Topic started by: SincerelySinclair on June 13, 2019, 10:17:43 PM

Title: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on June 13, 2019, 10:17:43 PM
Hey everyone. Here's what I've got so far. I don't think that it's awful but I know that it's missing something good

Dear X,

There’s a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the 13th victim. Kidnapped, tortured, and eaten, Diane’s spirit is restless. When she is accidentally summoned by paranormal investigator, Sebastian Scull, from her limbo afterlife, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, there’s one slight hitch to her plan. She can’t control her new ghostly body or powers and she doesn’t remember what happened to her the day she died. Bound to Sebastian, her earthly tie to the living, they set off to find out what happened to her that fateful November evening. As memories of her brutal death emerge and more women go missing, Diane and Sebastian are confronted that the killer is accelerating and becoming more unhinged as time goes on.

In the search for clues, Sebastian goes missing and Diane’s faint tie to the world is threatened. When a message from the killer arrives on the anniversary of her death, Diane is faced with an impossible decision: save Sebastian and spend the rest of her afterlife as a trophy in the killer’s morbid collection or condemn him to an agonizing death and wander the earth for all eternity.

HART & SCULL is a New Adult Paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It’s THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. Fans of these novels will enjoy Diane’s struggle with her life and death and admire Sebastian’s ever-optimistic nature even in the face of the unknown. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: TigerAsh on June 14, 2019, 11:54:26 AM
Hey everyone. Here's what I've got so far. I don't think that it's awful but I know that it's missing something good

Dear X,

There’s a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the 13th thirteenth victim. Kidnapped, tortured, and eaten, Diane’s spirit is restless. When she is accidentally summoned by paranormal investigator, Sebastian Scull, from her limbo afterlife, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, there’s one slight hitch to her plan.: She can’t control her new ghostly body or powers and [I don't think it's necessary to say this. Additionally, you said there was one hitch.] she doesn’t remember what happened to her the day she died. Bound to Sebastian, her earthly tie to the living, they set off to find out what happened to her that fateful November evening. As memories of her brutal death emerge and more women go missing, Diane and Sebastian are confronted that the killer is accelerating [This sounds weird to me.] and becoming more unhinged as time goes on.

In the search for clues, [This is a weird opening for the rest of the sentence.] Sebastian goes missing and Diane’s faint tie to the world is threatened. When a message from the killer arrives on the anniversary of her death, [Arrives where?] Diane is faced with an impossible decision: save Sebastian and spend the rest of her afterlife as a trophy in the killer’s morbid collection [How could she be a trophy for the killer when she's already dead?] or condemn him to an agonizing death and wander the earth for all eternity. [You said at the beginning of this paragraph that Diane's tie to the world is threatened when Sebastian goes missing. So why would she be wandering the earth if he died?]

HART & SCULL is a New Adult Pparanormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It’s THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. [I've heard agents say that the age category of New Adult doesn't exist. For what it's worth, this sounds like an adult novel to me, so I think if you just refer to it as a "paranormal novel", it will be fine.] Fans of these novels will enjoy Diane’s struggle with her life and death and admire Sebastian’s ever-optimistic nature even in the face of the unknown. [This should be shown in the query letter rather than told at the end.] Thank you for your time and consideration.





I think my biggest issue with the query letter as it stands is Diane's connection to Sebastian/the living world. Because that isn't clear, it's hard to fully understand what's at stake for Diane, especially after Sebastian goes missing.

Hope my comments help. Good luck! :)
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on June 14, 2019, 12:22:47 PM
Thanks for the edit, TigerAsh. I've been divided on calling it NA but since some agents say that they do represent it or that they don't I've erred on the side of caution.

Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. Kidnapped, tortured, and eaten, Diane's spirit is restless. When she is accidentally summoned paranormal investigator, Sebastian Scull, from her limbo afterlife, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, it's not as easy as she hoped. Diane doesn't remember what happened to her the day she died and due to a botched summoning, she grows weaker when she's away from Sebastian. Bound to him, they set off to find out what happened to her that fateful November evening. As memories of her brutal death emerge and more women go missing, Diane and Sebastian fear that the killer is becoming more depraved and unhinged as time goes on. (I feel like more depraved is a bit redundant. The killer is already eating people. How much worse could it get?)

But when Sebastian suddenly goes missing, both his and Diane's lives are threatened. Unable to interact with the living world without Sebastian, Diane must race against the clock to find and save him from an agonizing death or risk wandering the earth for all eternity.

HART & SCULL is a New Adult paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: utesfanami on June 14, 2019, 04:52:30 PM
Hi SincerelySinclair!

Please take all my edits and comments as suggestions!
Thanks for the edit, TigerAsh. I've been divided on calling it NA but since some agents say that they do represent it or that they don't I've erred on the side of caution.

Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the cannibal'sthirteenth victim. I think this is a solid start here.  Kidnapped, tortured, and eaten, Diane's spirit is restlessThis sentence confused me. I had to read it a couple times. For clarity, maybe try: "After being kidnapped, tortured, and eaten, Diane's a spirit. And now she's restless." As this sentence is presently constructed, it almost sounds like Diane's spirit was kidnapped, tortured, and eaten.. When she is accidentally summoned by paranormal investigator, Sebastian Scull, from her limbo afterlife, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal. Is there a way you can make Diane sound more active? Based on what I've read so far, she hasn't done anything, other than getting eaten and getting summoned. What does she do? I also don't know her character very well. What makes her unique?

However, it's not as easy as she hoped if she's a spirit, it probably wouldn't be easy to kill a flesh and blood person. Diane doesn't remember what happened to her the day she died and due to a botched summoning, she grows weaker when she's away from Sebastian. Bound to him, they set off to find out what happened to her that fateful November evening. As memories of her brutal death emerge and more women go missing, Diane and Sebastian fear that the killer is becoming more depraved and unhinged as time goes on. (I feel like more depraved is a bit redundant. The killer is already eating people. How much worse could it get?)

But when Sebastian suddenly goes missing, both his and Diane's lives are threatened. Unable to interact with the living world without Sebastian, Diane must race against the clock to find and save him from an agonizing death or risk wandering the earth for all eternity.

HART & SCULL is a New Adult paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. Thank you for your time and consideration.

I think you've got an interesting premise and good comp titles. This query seems to be missing a few things though: Who is Diane? Why should we root for her other than she was murdered? I'd also like to see a bit more voice. If she's funny, or has a dark sense of humor, you could add something like, "Kill the bastard who ate her with smoked mac n' cheese and Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce." I mean, that's not a great line off the top of my head, but I hope you understand my point. Find ways to infuse the query with the unique ways your character describes the world in which she lives. That'll give us a sense of her personality. And really, if she's got a personality we love, we'll be rooting for her throughout the query.

Keep at it. The bones are there for your query, we just have to really polish it to make it glow.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on June 14, 2019, 05:42:18 PM
Thanks for the suggestions! I don't know how to make Diane sound more active in query although rest assured she's the driving force of the story. It's her idea to go kill her killer and it does fall on her to save Sebastian. I feel as though I'm already pushing the envelope with the "Kill the bastard who turned her into a meal". Diane's got a great personality but she was brutally murdered. I don't want it to feel like this is more comedy than a dark fate but again that's all in my humble opinon.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: TigerAsh on June 14, 2019, 07:23:03 PM
Thanks for the edit, TigerAsh. I've been divided on calling it NA but since some agents say that they do represent it or that they don't I've erred on the side of caution. [If you want to take the chance and call it NA, that's fine. But if that's the case, I would maybe mention Diane's age, to help differentiate it from adult (because the query letter gives me adult feels).]

Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. Kidnapped, tortured, and eaten, Diane's spirit is restless. When she is accidentally summoned from her limbo afterlife by paranormal investigator, Sebastian Scull, from her limbo afterlife, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, it's not as easy as she hoped. Diane doesn't remember what happened to her the day she died and due to a botched summoning, she grows weaker when she's away from Sebastian. Bound to him, they set off to find out what happened to her that fateful November evening. As memories of her brutal death emerge and more women go missing, Diane and Sebastian fear that the killer is becoming more depraved and unhinged as time goes on. (I feel like more depraved is a bit redundant. The killer is already eating people. How much worse could it get?) [I agree, so I would just leave "depraved" out.]

But when Sebastian suddenly goes missing, both his and Diane's lives are threatened. [This is weird to say, because Diane is already dead.] Unable to interact with the living world without Sebastian, Diane must race against the clock to find and save him from an agonizing death or risk wandering the earth for all eternity.

HART & SCULL is a New Adult new adult [There's no need to capitalized it.] paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. [Make sure to include a brief bio about yourself.] Thank you for your time and consideration.


This is definitely better than the previous version!
Hope my new comments help! :)
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on June 14, 2019, 08:09:34 PM
How about this? I sell it as adult but for agents who are interested in young adult, I include Diane's age (21) in the query.

Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. Kidnapped, tortured, and eaten, Diane's spirit is restless. When she is accidentally summoned from her limbo afterlife by paranormal investigator, Sebastian Scull, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, it's not as easy as she hoped. Diane doesn't remember what happened to the day she died and due to a botched summoning, she grows weaker when she's away from Sebastian. Bound to him, they set off to find out what happened to her that fateful November evening. As memories of her brutal death emerge and more women go missing, Diane and Sebastian fear that the killer is becoming more unhinged as time goes on.

But when Sebastian suddenly goes missing, his life and Diane's afterlife are threatened (I feel that this is less weird/awkward but that's just me.) Unable to interact with the living world without Sebastian, Diane must race against the clock to find and save him from an agonizing death or risk wandering the earth for all eternity.

HART & SCULL is a new adult paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (the usual spiel about myself) Thank you for your time and consideration.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on August 27, 2019, 07:57:35 PM
This query is killing me. Any help would be deeply appreciated.

Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. Her spirit is vengeful. Her killer is still out there and when she is suddenly summoned by Sebastian Scull, a paranormal investigator, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, hunting down her murderer becomes nearly impossible when Diane can't fully recall her last days. Tormented by visions of her death, she and Sebastian will walk the fine line between the living and dead to discover the dark truth. But as memories of her brutal death emerge, Diane and Sebastian discover that the killer didn't stop with her and that the body count is continuing to grow.

HART & SCULL is a paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (usual spiel about myself). Thank you for your time and consideration.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: paddler on August 28, 2019, 09:41:59 AM
I think it is too blunt. Almost like you were pushing for a newspaper headline, not an intriguing story.

Maybe start with something like this.

Diane Hart finds out the hard way that a cannibalistic serial killer is in town. She doesn't understand how he misses, then she looks down to see him. He is dressing her body like a hunted deer.

Good luck
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: Pineapplejuice on August 28, 2019, 11:41:23 AM
How about this? I sell it as adult but for agents who are interested in young adult, I include Diane's age (21) in the query.

Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. Kidnapped, tortured, and eaten, Diane's spirit is restless. When she is accidentally summoned from her limbo afterlife by paranormal investigator, Sebastian Scull, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal. ( I think that is a great first paragraph )

However, it's not as easy as she hoped. In order to find her murderer, Diane needs to retrace her last days, only Diane doesn't remember what happened to the day she died and due to a botched summoning, she grows weaker when she's away from Sebastian. Bound to him, they set off to find out what happened to her that fateful November evening. As memories of her brutal death resurface emerge and more women go missing, Diane and Sebastian fear that the killer is becoming more unhinged as time goes on.

But when Sebastian suddenly goes missing, his life and Diane's afterlife are threatened ( 'are threatened' is too vague. Can you use more specific wording here just to avoid the vague cliche sound. It might make it stakier too. It's not bad, I just think it's worth experimenting with that as it is vague ) Unable to interact with the living world without Sebastian, Diane must race against the clock I wouldn't use terms like this. It's so vague/cliche/overused it's an eyeroller  to find and save him from an agonizing death or ( You make this sound like a choice ending but really she needs to do BOTH. Save her friend ( I assume he's also a friend, not just a way to be in the world ) AND do her ghosty save the victims stuff ) risk wandering the earth for all eternity.

HART & SCULL is a new adult paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (the usual spiel about myself) Thank you for your time and consideration.

It's really quite good imho except for that last paragraph where you get all vague wordy .

It's really intriguing.

I agree with not using NA. Most agents don't believe it's an age category for publishing, and will look at you as amateur for using it.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on August 28, 2019, 12:20:55 PM
I think it is too blunt. Almost like you were pushing for a newspaper headline, not an intriguing story.

Maybe start with something like this.

Diane Hart finds out the hard way that a cannibalistic serial killer is in town. She doesn't understand how he misses, then she looks down to see him. He is dressing her body like a hunted deer.

Good luck

I made the most unnatural laugh when I read this.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: JayS on August 28, 2019, 02:39:52 PM
How does spirit know she’s been eaten if she cannot remember what happened that day?

Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: paddler on August 28, 2019, 06:55:35 PM
I hope it was a good laugh. I said it that way because it bridged that gap about knowing she was lunch but not being able to remember the day she died.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on August 28, 2019, 08:38:26 PM
It was a brilliant laugh. Granted it was at work and I did get some funny looks but I needed that laugh! Thank you! And to answer your question JayS, in the revised query, Diane does retain some memory of her death. She recalls her flesh being stripped from her bones, her killer gnawing on her, etc.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on August 30, 2019, 12:33:15 PM
Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. Her spirit is vengeful. Her killer is still out there and when she is suddenly summoned by Sebastian Scull, a paranormal investigator, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, hunting down her murderer becomes nearly impossible when Diane can't fully recall her last days. Tormented by visions of her death, she and Sebastian will walk the fine line between the living and dead to discover the dark truth. But as memories of her brutal death emerge, Diane and Sebastian discover that the killer didn't stop with her and that the body count is continuing to grow.

HART & SCULL is a paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (usual spiel about myself). Thank you for your time and consideration.

Maybe it's just me but I feel that this version of the query is too short. What do you guys think? I've got the plot, the main characters, and the threat (serial killer still killing after twenty-years). But it feels short.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: JayS on August 30, 2019, 12:43:24 PM
For what it’s worth, I like it.  I would even make it shorter by revising 1st paragraph:

“Her killer is still out there.  When she...”. This shortens the length of the long sentence.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on August 30, 2019, 01:06:55 PM
Good call, JayS!

Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. Her spirit is vengeful. Her killer is still out there. When she is suddenly summoned by Sebastian Scull, a paranormal investigator, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, hunting down her murderer becomes nearly impossible when Diane can't fully recall her last days. Tormented by visions of her death, she and Sebastian will walk the fine line between the living and dead to discover the dark truth. But as memories of her brutal death emerge, Diane and Sebastian discover that the killer didn't stop with her and that the body count is continuing to grow.

HART & SCULL is a paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (usual spiel about myself). Thank you for your time and consideration.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: TigerAsh on August 30, 2019, 06:55:41 PM
Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer on the loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. Her spirit is vengeful. Her killer is still out there [I don't think this flows well. Also, saying "Her killer is still out there" is repetitive, since you already said there's a cannibal killer on the loose.] and when she is suddenly summoned by Sebastian Scull, a paranormal investigator, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, hunting down her murderer becomes nearly impossible when Diane can't fully recall her last days. Tormented by visions of her death, she and Sebastian will walk the fine line between the living and dead to discover the dark truth. [Not sure what this means.] But as memories of her brutal death emerge,[This sounds repetitive, since you already said "Tormented by visions of her death."] Diane and Sebastian discover that the killer didn't stop with her and that the body count is continuing to grow. [I think the ending sentence could be stronger.]

HART & SCULL is a paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (usual spiel about myself). Thank you for your time and consideration.

Maybe it's just me but I feel that this version of the query is too short. What do you guys think? I've got the plot, the main characters, and the threat (serial killer still killing after twenty-years). But it feels short.


This version of your query letter seems more repetitive in spots than previous versions. Also, I felt the that second paragraph is too vague; you should try to be more specific about what makes your story unique, and try to build up the tension and suspense a bit more.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on August 31, 2019, 10:52:33 PM
Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. When she is suddenly summoned from her limbo afterlife by Sebastian Scull, a paranormal investigator, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who turned her into a meal.

However, hunting down her murderer becomes nearly impossible when Diane can't fully recall her last days or interact with the living. Tormented by visions of her demise, she and Sebastian will investigate her life and death to discover the truth of what happened to her that fall night. As memories and evidence emerge, they discover that the killer didn't stop with Diane and that the body count is continuing to grow. But after the latest corpse is uncovered, Sebastian disappears - just like Diane did before she was murdered. Without her tie to the living world, it's up to Diane to solve her own cold case and save Sebastian before he suffers the same grisly fate.

HART & SCULL is a paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVEL BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (usual spiel about myself). Thank you for your time and consideration.


HART & SCULL is a paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (usual spiel about myself). Thank you for your time and consideration.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: klclou on September 01, 2019, 08:30:33 AM
I like your query and the plot of your novel. Very interesting. I thought of the Lovely Bones immediately. My suggestions (and only suggestions) are below:

Quote
Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. When she is suddenly summoned from her limbo afterlife by Sebastian Scull, a paranormal investigator, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who ate her. turned her into a meal.

However, But hunting down her murderer becomes is nearly impossible when Diane can't fully recall her last days or interact with the living those she knew before. Tormented by visions flashbacks of her demise last mortal moments, she and Sebastian will investigate her life and death to uncover the truth ofwhat happened to her that dark fall night. As memories and evidence emerge, they learn discover that the frequency of the killer's activity has only escalated since Diane's brutal death  didn't stop with Diane and that the body count is continuing to grow. After the latest corpse is discovered, Sebastian disappears - just like Diane did just before she was murdered. Without her tie to the living world missing, it's up to Diane to solve her own cold case and save rescue Sebastian before he suffers the same grisly fate.

HART & SCULL is a paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (usual spiel about myself). Thank you for your time and consideration.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on September 01, 2019, 09:21:45 AM
Those are GREAT edits. I salute you sir or mam!

Slightly torn on getting rid of 'who turned her into a meal'. I do see that it may be too...comical (this is just my own opinion) but it 'ate her' sounds grim. There's not really a good way to say someone ate someone else, is there?

Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. When she is suddenly summoned from her limbo afterlife by Sebastian Scull, a paranormal investigator, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who ate her.

But hunting down her murderer is nearly impossible when Diane can't fully recall her last days or interact with the living. Tormented by flashbacks of her demise, she and Sebastian investigate her life and death to uncover what happened that dark fall night. As memories and evidence emerge, they learn that the killer has only escalated since Diane's brutal death. After the latest corpse is discovered, Sebastian disappears - like Diane did just before she was murdered. With her tie to the living world missing, it's up to Diane to solve her own cold case and save Sebastian before he suffers the same grisly fate.

HART & SCULL is a paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (usual spiel about myself). Thank you for your time and consideration.
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: JayS on September 01, 2019, 12:11:14 PM

Those are GREAT edits. I salute you sir or mam!

Slightly torn on getting rid of 'who turned her into a meal'. I do see that it may be too...comical (this is just my own opinion) but it 'ate her' sounds grim. There's not really a good way to say someone ate someone else, is there?

Dear X,

There's a cannibal killer loose in Oregon and no one knows this better than Diane Hart, the thirteenth victim. When she is suddenly summoned from her limbo afterlife by Sebastian Scull, a paranormal investigator, Diane has only one thought on her mind: kill the bastard who ate her.  (If you’re on the fence, one vote for “turned her into a meal.”)

But hunting down her murderer is nearly impossible when Diane can't fully recall her last days or interact with the living. Tormented by flashbacks of her demise, she and Sebastian investigate her life and death to uncover what happened that dark fall night. As memories and evidence emerge, they learn that the killer has only escalated killing has continued since Diane's brutal death. After the latest corpse is discovered, Sebastian disappears - like Diane did just before she was murdered. With her tie to the living world missing, it's up to Diane to solve her own cold case and save Sebastian before he suffers the same grisly fate.

HART & SCULL is a paranormal novel complete at 65,000 words. It's THE LOVELY BONES meets THE MADNESS UNDERNEATH. I am a (usual spiel about myself). Thank you for your time and consideration.

Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: SincerelySinclair on September 01, 2019, 01:41:02 PM
Man, I really do like 'turned her into a meal'.

Does anyone see any issues with the query plot wise or formatting?
Title: Re: Hart & Scull - Paranormal Fantasy NA
Post by: klclou on September 04, 2019, 04:00:11 AM
If you like it stick with it. I read your twitter query after I suggested the above and preferred 'turned her into a meal' there.