QueryTracker Community

Writing => Community Fiction => Topic started by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 01:02:09 PM



Title: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 01:02:09 PM
Since our community fiction project has died, I thought we would try something else.  I saw this being done on another site and I thought it looked fun.  It's still community fiction, but you're only allowed to add 5 words each post.

How it works
 Post only 5 words at a time
 Your 5 words must continue the story
 No fair double posting.
 No conversations in the thread, just your 5 words (otherwise the story may get lost)
 Pay attention to punctuation, if the last poster did not include a period, you must continue the sentence, etc.

I'll Start.
------------------------------------

The fire was finally starting


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 01:12:33 PM
The fire was finally starting to die down, but we

Like this?


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 01:23:09 PM
Yes, but don't include anything from the previous posts or else it will just get too long.  So your reply should have been:


to die down, but we


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 01:23:44 PM
continued to stick our smores


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: joanjunkmail on September 15, 2007, 01:27:24 PM
in the smoking ash pile.

(ps - could we consider copying the entire previous and pasting until it reaches paragraph length?  with the personal info on the sidebar, each post is much bigger than one line, so it'll become difficult to read quickly.)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 01:32:58 PM
Bob looked up from his


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 01:53:18 PM
nearby foxhole and called out,

NOTE:  I have a suggestion that may open this up to a more cohesive narrative & flow.  But I'll defer final judgment to the creator.  The idea - let us fall somewhere in the 5-10 word range.  It'll let us define a scenario more succinctly.  With only 5 words, we may just be playing a game of posting prepositional phrases.

Two cents spent.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 15, 2007, 02:10:15 PM
"Pete!  Where are you, buddy?"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 15, 2007, 02:23:57 PM
A tuft of Pete's hair


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 02:37:55 PM
was still ablaze because of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: joanjunkmail on September 15, 2007, 02:44:38 PM
his unnatural attraction to smores.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 15, 2007, 02:53:55 PM
An onslaught of toxic fumes 


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 03:11:10 PM
mingled with the falling snowflakes


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Legionsynch on September 15, 2007, 03:25:59 PM
and turned the air pink.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 03:31:36 PM
The Snowman Contest was officially


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 03:37:23 PM
begun.  "Now where did I


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: joanjunkmail on September 15, 2007, 04:07:28 PM
put that lump of C4?"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 04:14:57 PM
Pete asked himself as he


(P.S.)  Spilling onto page 2 is makin' this really difficult... or are we pretty much taking dead aim at The Theatre Of The Absurd?


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 05:17:34 PM
picked marshmallow from his teeth.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 05:32:11 PM
Meanwhile, back in the foxhole,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 05:37:31 PM
Bob was packing his first


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 05:54:07 PM
suitcase full of yellow snow?


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 05:57:27 PM
Pete had told him that


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 05:58:13 PM
it was full of nutrients


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 06:03:21 PM
so he wanted to stockpile


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 15, 2007, 08:53:29 PM
in case he was ever


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 08:59:57 PM
left stranded in the wilderness


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 09:20:08 PM
alone. But as for now,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 09:22:54 PM
getting stranded was the least


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 09:25:40 PM
of his worries, since the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 15, 2007, 09:30:10 PM
grizzly bear was running straight


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 09:31:13 PM
at his beloved girlfriend Agatha


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 09:33:59 PM
Krispy.  "Aggy! Look out!" he


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 09:36:43 PM
cried.  But alas, Aggy was


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 09:38:32 PM
only a hallucination. The real


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 09:40:16 PM
beloved in his life was


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 09:42:15 PM
actually the grizzly bear, who


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 15, 2007, 09:46:01 PM
looked like his dear Aunt


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 09:47:34 PM
Sarah, but only barely.  He


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 09:48:21 PM
hated the resemblence between Sarah


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 15, 2007, 09:50:46 PM
and the fanged beast, but


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 09:54:53 PM
since she was prettier than


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 15, 2007, 10:02:40 PM
Aunt Sarah, he decided he


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Nostrabuttus on September 15, 2007, 10:14:52 PM
would light another short match.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 10:20:27 PM
On fire again, Pete's hair


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 15, 2007, 10:21:19 PM
lit a beacon, attracting a


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 10:23:10 PM
rather large swarm of wallabies


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 10:24:40 PM
which lunged at Drama Mama


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 15, 2007, 10:26:07 PM
and tore off her sequined


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 10:27:20 PM
and smug smile before they


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 10:28:33 PM
commenced to eating her insides.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 10:37:34 PM
TIME OUT FOR A 50 POST REFRESHER:

This is us, preparing a manuscript for PublishersAmerica:

Quote
The fire was finally starting to die down, but we continued to stick our smores in the smoking ash pile.  Bob looked up from his nearby foxhole and called out, "Pete!  Where are you, buddy?"  A tuft of Pete's hair was still ablaze because of his unnatural attraction to smores.  An onslaught of toxic fumes mingled with the falling snowflakes and turned the air pink.  The Snowman Contest was officially begun.  "Now where did I put that lump of C4?" Pete asked himself as he picked marshmallow from his teeth. 

Meanwhile, back in the foxhole, Bob was packing his first suitcase full of yellow snow.  Pete had told him that it was full of nutrients so he wanted to stockpile in case he was ever left stranded in the wilderness alone. But as for now, getting stranded was the least of his worries, since the grizzly bear was running straight at his beloved girlfriend Agatha Krispy.  "Aggy! Look out!" he cried.  But alas, Aggy was only a hallucination. The real beloved in his life was actually the grizzly bear, who looked like his dear Aunt Sarah, but only barely.  He hated the resemblence between Sarah and the fanged beast, but since she was prettier than Aunt Sarah, he decided he would light another short match.  On fire again, Pete's hair lit a beacon, attracting a rather large swarm of wallabies which lunged at Drama Mama and tore off her sequined and smug smile before they commenced to eating her insides.

We.  Rock!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 10:40:47 PM
 :rof3:

The next morning, drama mama


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 15, 2007, 10:41:43 PM
hauled what was left of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 10:42:32 PM
her badly mangled body to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 10:44:51 PM
apologize to dear Chelc for


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 10:45:37 PM
just plain being a biotch.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 15, 2007, 10:50:35 PM
Unimpressed and justifiably miffed, Chelc


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 10:51:25 PM
pulled a sword from nowhere


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 10:52:53 PM
and held it threateningly while


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 15, 2007, 10:53:41 PM
Drama Mama cowered and begged


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 10:54:58 PM
for her miserable, putrid life!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 10:55:55 PM
But Chelc, being the lady


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 15, 2007, 10:57:39 PM
of spite, only smiled and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 15, 2007, 11:09:20 PM
then spit into the drama


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 15, 2007, 11:41:32 PM
mama's cup of yellow snow!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 08:13:54 AM
"Let that be a lesson


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 16, 2007, 09:24:23 AM
to those who stand in


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 16, 2007, 10:42:41 AM
my path to greatness and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 16, 2007, 10:45:23 AM
bring me Bob and Pete."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 10:54:48 AM
"It wasn't me," Pete said


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 16, 2007, 10:58:12 AM
with a derisive snort that


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 11:47:07 AM
nearly started an avalanche on


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 16, 2007, 04:17:30 PM
cue.  Everyone was relieved, but


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 04:47:24 PM
they had no idea what


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 16, 2007, 04:50:55 PM
to do or say next!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 05:06:40 PM
And they were not alone.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 16, 2007, 05:07:37 PM
Through the trees, wraithlike, winged


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 16, 2007, 05:11:44 PM
monkeys on a sugar high


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 05:20:48 PM
came crashing into the clearing


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 16, 2007, 05:25:45 PM
with a bang. "Toto! Toto!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 16, 2007, 05:36:57 PM
shrieked the rabid howler monkeys,

(NOTE: Usually I prefer books, but I cannot WAIT for the movie version of this!)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 05:57:21 PM
and then threw red shoes


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 16, 2007, 06:21:28 PM
that hit Bob and Pete


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 07:35:42 PM
knocking Bob to the ground,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 16, 2007, 08:25:59 PM
and killing poor Pete. "Why


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 08:54:19 PM
does this ALWAYS happen?" Bob


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 16, 2007, 09:18:14 PM
laughed. The reason was that
(I'm really confused as to what's happening btw)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 16, 2007, 09:25:41 PM
a monkey had landed on


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 16, 2007, 09:28:20 PM
top of his yellow snowman.

(You're not the only one Chelc.)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 16, 2007, 10:09:22 PM
The yellow snowman vaulted high


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 16, 2007, 10:52:40 PM
Aye-yi-yi!

We... just... S-U-C-K!!!

Quote
The fire was finally starting to die down, but we continued to stick our smores in the smoking ash pile.  Bob looked up from his nearby foxhole and called out, "Pete!  Where are you, buddy?"  A tuft of Pete's hair was still ablaze because of his unnatural attraction to smores.  An onslaught of toxic fumes mingled with the falling snowflakes and turned the air pink.  The Snowman Contest was officially begun.  "Now where did I put that lump of C4?" Pete asked himself as he picked marshmallow from his teeth.

Meanwhile, back in the foxhole, Bob was packing his first suitcase full of yellow snow.  Pete had told him that it was full of nutrients so he wanted to stockpile in case he was ever left stranded in the wilderness alone. But as for now, getting stranded was the least of his worries, since the grizzly bear was running straight at his beloved girlfriend Agatha Krispy.  "Aggy! Look out!" he cried.  But alas, Aggy was only a hallucination. The real beloved in his life was actually the grizzly bear, who looked like his dear Aunt Sarah, but only barely.  He hated the resemblence between Sarah and the fanged beast, but since she was prettier than Aunt Sarah, he decided he would light another short match.  On fire again, Pete's hair lit a beacon, attracting a rather large swarm of wallabies which lunged at Drama Mama and tore off her sequined and smug smile before they commenced to eating her insides.

The next morning, drama mama hauled what was left of her badly mangled body to apologize to dear Chelc for just plain being a biotch.  Unimpressed and justifiably miffed, pulled a sword from nowhere Chelc pulled a sword from nowhere and held it threateningly while Drama Mama cowered and begged for her miserable, putrid life!  But Chelc, being the lady of spite, only smiled and then spit into the drama mama's cup of yellow snow! 

"Let that be a lesson to those who stand in my path to greatness and bring me Bob and Pete." 

"It wasn't me," Pete said with a derisive snort that nearly started an avalanche on cue.  Everyone was relieved, but they had no idea what to do or say next! 

And they were not alone.  Through the trees, wraithlike, winged monkeys on a sugar high came crashing into the clearing with a bang. "Toto! Toto!" shrieked the rabid howler monkeys, and then threw red shoes that hit Bob and Pete knocking Bob to the ground, and killing poor Pete.

"Why does this ALWAYS happen?" Bob laughed.  The reason was that a monkey had landed on top of his yellow snowman.  The yellow snowman vaulted high

into the chemical addled skies,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 17, 2007, 10:31:04 AM
I take a couple of days off and this happens.  I have been laughing my ass off!  Yes, I said ASS!  Good stuff guys!

propelled by his ammonia driven


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 10:55:52 AM
flatulence.  "Damn snowman-stealing monkeys,

(wasn't sure if I should count that as one word or two)



Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 11:31:16 AM
their ammonia addiction really must


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 12:03:39 PM
be stopped, or we'll all


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 12:06:44 PM
be asphyxiated by the fumes!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 17, 2007, 01:15:28 PM
Pete said, grabbing the flamethrower.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 01:22:36 PM
"Pete! I witnessed your death!!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 17, 2007, 01:24:49 PM
"The vampire monkeys revived me!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 01:31:03 PM
"But that means, oh no."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 01:55:27 PM
"Yup, I'm a vampire monkey!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 02:00:05 PM
Pete said, and lunged at


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 02:11:27 PM
Bob with the ferocity of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 02:25:01 PM
the standard vampire monkey. "Wait!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 02:28:59 PM
Wouldn't you rather have yellow


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 02:42:47 PM
snow?" Bob said, waving garlic


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 03:06:24 PM
and onion omelets at him.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 03:07:49 PM
"With blood and ammonia?" Pete


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 03:13:06 PM
said, talking the plate from


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 03:14:39 PM
Chelc. "Not bad! I could


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 03:18:41 PM
get used to this.  But,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 03:20:05 PM
where does this blood come


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 03:22:57 PM
from?" she asked, holding Drama


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 03:25:24 PM
Mama's decapitated head by the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 03:26:08 PM
  :rof2::rof3: :rof2: :rof3: :rof2: :rof3: :rof2: :rof3: :rof2:


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 17, 2007, 03:30:37 PM
blood-soaked blonde banana curl


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 03:32:25 PM
behind her back. Bob winced


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 03:35:18 PM
when he saw Chelc's diabolical


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 03:36:59 PM
plan: blood of a bonde.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 03:37:30 PM
I meant blonde!!!!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 03:39:04 PM
Chelc sat the head atop


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 03:46:49 PM
a makeshift mantle, then said


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 03:54:14 PM
"Loth and Aud can attest


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 03:56:32 PM
to my diabolical nature. You


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 04:16:55 PM
may think you're something special,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 04:19:26 PM
but you'll never get ahead


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 17, 2007, 04:25:04 PM
(...what is going on? I can't even continue this...)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 04:27:05 PM
(I need a WIP break, so I'll take a bit of time to collect & organize posts.  You may all continue with the madness.)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 04:36:05 PM
I think it's safe to say that even if you have been keeping up with this thread, it makes just about ZERO sense!

Anyway... here's where we're at.  Nathan Bransford, if you're reading this, I apologize on behalf of the QT wildlife.  We're all just killing time waiting for you to represent us!

Quote

The fire was finally starting to die down, but we continued to stick our smores in the smoking ash pile.  Bob looked up from his nearby foxhole and called out, "Pete!  Where are you, buddy?"  A tuft of Pete's hair was still ablaze because of his unnatural attraction to smores.  An onslaught of toxic fumes mingled with the falling snowflakes and turned the air pink.  The Snowman Contest was officially begun.  "Now where did I put that lump of C4?" Pete asked himself as he picked marshmallow from his teeth.

Meanwhile, back in the foxhole, Bob was packing his first suitcase full of yellow snow.  Pete had told him that it was full of nutrients so he wanted to stockpile in case he was ever left stranded in the wilderness alone. But as for now, getting stranded was the least of his worries, since the grizzly bear was running straight at his beloved girlfriend Agatha Krispy.  "Aggy! Look out!" he cried.  But alas, Aggy was only a hallucination. The real beloved in his life was actually the grizzly bear, who looked like his dear Aunt Sarah, but only barely.  He hated the resemblence between Sarah and the fanged beast, but since she was prettier than Aunt Sarah, he decided he would light another short match.  On fire again, Pete's hair lit a beacon, attracting a rather large swarm of wallabies which lunged at Drama Mama and tore off her sequined and smug smile before they commenced to eating her insides.

The next morning, drama mama hauled what was left of her badly mangled body to apologize to dear Chelc for just plain being a biotch.  Unimpressed and justifiably miffed, pulled a sword from nowhere Chelc pulled a sword from nowhere and held it threateningly while Drama Mama cowered and begged for her miserable, putrid life!  But Chelc, being the lady of spite, only smiled and then spit into the drama mama's cup of yellow snow!

"Let that be a lesson to those who stand in my path to greatness and bring me Bob and Pete."

"It wasn't me," Pete said with a derisive snort that nearly started an avalanche on cue.  Everyone was relieved, but they had no idea what to do or say next!

And they were not alone.  Through the trees, wraithlike, winged monkeys on a sugar high came crashing into the clearing with a bang. "Toto! Toto!" shrieked the rabid howler monkeys, and then threw red shoes that hit Bob and Pete knocking Bob to the ground, and killing poor Pete.

"Why does this ALWAYS happen?" Bob laughed.  The reason was that a monkey had landed on top of his yellow snowman.  The yellow snowman vaulted high into the chemical addled skies, propelled by his ammonia driven flatulence.  "Damn snowman-stealing monkeys, their ammonia addiction really must be stopped, or we'll all be asphyxiated by the fumes!"  Pete said, grabbing the flamethrower. 

"Pete! I witnessed your death!!" 

"The vampire monkeys revived me!" 

"But that means, oh no." 

"Yup, I'm a vampire monkey!"  Pete said, and lunged at Bob with the ferocity of the standard vampire monkey.

"Wait!  Wouldn't you rather have yellow snow?" Bob said, waving garlic and onion omelets at him. 

"With blood and ammonia?" Pete said, talking the plate from Chelc.

"Not bad! I could get used to this.  But, where does this blood come from?" she asked, holding Drama Mama's decapitated head by the blood-soaked blonde banana curl behind her back. Bob winced when he saw Chelc's diabolical plan: blood of a blonde.  Chelc sat the head atop a makeshift mantle, then said "Loth and Aud can attest to my diabolical nature. You may think you're something special, but you'll never get ahead


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 17, 2007, 04:41:56 PM

Quote

"Let that be a lesson to those who stand in my path to greatness and bring me Bob and Pete."
....what?! that last bit makes no sense  :rof3:


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 04:53:25 PM
(Then it's up to you to make it make sense.  Or you can just ignore it and start us off on another tangent.)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 17, 2007, 04:58:32 PM
okay then...where were we? "but you'll never get ahead"

as long as you are behind.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 05:13:41 PM
"
Chelc then climbed aboard her


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 05:15:23 PM
turbo-charged vacuum cleaner and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 05:30:40 PM
chanted the magical words: Ye


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 05:38:07 PM
Woot. Ye Woot. Ye Woot.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 05:39:48 PM
"
The vacuum revved and flew


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 05:43:08 PM
over Bob, who dove for


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 05:58:21 PM
cover behind a yellow snowman.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 06:01:04 PM
"I'm leaving this snowman infested


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 06:03:53 PM
wilderness and going to Vegas!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 06:04:53 PM
The cord of Chelc's vacuum


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 06:13:38 PM
was thankfully 3,000 miles long


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 06:19:36 PM
and so she could fly


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 06:24:21 PM
, with Bob on the back,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 17, 2007, 06:41:40 PM
all the way to Vegas.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 06:47:40 PM
As they came in for


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 06:51:13 PM
for a hoover-icious landing,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 06:53:55 PM
Bob began to teeter precariously.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 07:05:17 PM
Unsympathetic, Chelc shoved poor Bob


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 17, 2007, 07:07:08 PM
over the side to dangle


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 07:22:12 PM
in terror as she finally


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 17, 2007, 07:24:38 PM
cut the cord and set


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 17, 2007, 07:31:39 PM
for landing on a roof. (?)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 07:34:41 PM
*GONG!!!*



Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 07:41:15 PM
The clock struck one. Perfect.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 07:51:21 PM
She was just in time


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 07:55:58 PM
to witness the destruction of 


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 08:02:49 PM
Bob and Pete's House of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 17, 2007, 08:07:12 PM
solid hershey's dark chocolate build.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 08:19:25 PM
Chelc ran over and began


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 17, 2007, 08:21:25 PM
to plunge her teeth into


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 08:47:07 PM
Bob's leg. "Hey!" he shouted,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 08:50:21 PM
"I'm not a chocolate house!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 08:58:59 PM
"Cannibalism! You'll get used to 


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 09:14:23 PM
it," Chelc said, "or you'll


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 09:19:10 PM
die from it." "I see."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 09:29:12 PM
Bob reached over and grabbed


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 09:32:31 PM
a gold-plated carving knife


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 09:43:01 PM
from the vacuum belt, hidden


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 09:46:31 PM
beneath the chocolate rubble.  He


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 09:52:15 PM
wondered about the winged monkeys.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 10:07:47 PM
But with Chelc ready to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 10:08:22 PM
and the knife in hand,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 10:14:53 PM
he knew he was overmatched.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 10:16:11 PM
"Just eat the chocolate!" he


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 10:18:37 PM
demanded, "and not the leg!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 10:20:15 PM
"Hmmm, chocolate covered leg."  Chelc


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 10:21:41 PM
garbled through streams of drool


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 10:23:20 PM
"But I will be merciful!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 17, 2007, 10:27:05 PM
"Later! That vampire monkey has


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 17, 2007, 10:27:49 PM
been eyeing my Bob for


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 17, 2007, 10:37:08 PM
twenty moons, and now I


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 18, 2007, 09:25:57 AM
want retribution. Bob, hide yourself!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 18, 2007, 09:46:23 AM
Bob hid underneath the green


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 10:10:30 AM
cupcake factory sign and wept.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 18, 2007, 10:47:29 AM
He then pulled a tissue


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 18, 2007, 10:49:10 AM
and a hunk of chocolate


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 18, 2007, 10:53:23 AM
out of his greasy little


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 18, 2007, 11:06:29 AM
assortment of purses. Chelc faced


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 18, 2007, 11:19:01 AM
the cupcake factory sign and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 18, 2007, 12:01:49 PM
pulled out the rocket launcher


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 12:14:29 PM
she'd stashed in her backpack.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 18, 2007, 12:25:56 PM
Calmly, and with great precision


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 18, 2007, 12:47:36 PM
, she aimed at the approaching   


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 18, 2007, 12:54:18 PM
ice cream truck. 
"I hate


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 18, 2007, 01:30:00 PM
butter brickle, you selfish bastard


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 01:46:33 PM
!" 

Chelc then pulled the trigger,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 18, 2007, 01:53:51 PM
launching the rocket propelled incendiary


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 18, 2007, 02:45:29 PM
anti-lactose missile straight up


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 18, 2007, 03:35:19 PM
the ice cream truck's wazoo.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 04:28:39 PM
Shockingly, Bob refused to die!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 18, 2007, 04:36:15 PM
(what have you guys done to me?!  :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2:)
He got up and said,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 18, 2007, 05:13:08 PM
"I refuse to die, so


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Emeraldsky on September 18, 2007, 05:19:37 PM
you can stick your launcher


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 05:25:57 PM
where the sun don't..."  Suddenly,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 18, 2007, 05:54:16 PM
the sound of wicked laughter


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 18, 2007, 05:55:07 PM
came blasting from the truck's


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 06:12:22 PM
super secret compartment, secretly located


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 18, 2007, 06:18:04 PM
in the fudge-bar freezer.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 18, 2007, 06:25:31 PM
Chelc approached slowly and reached


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 06:32:38 PM
inside the freezer.  "I wonder


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 18, 2007, 09:15:29 PM
why a bengal tiger is chewing on my ankle."
(I cheated.  :wag:)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 09:17:47 PM
(sheesh.  give the girl one award and she thinks she owns the place!)

(OK, then...)

Because Chelc used nine words,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 18, 2007, 09:46:38 PM
the five word police came


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 10:59:33 PM
 :rof2:

immediately.  "Young Chelc," said Officer


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 18, 2007, 11:09:41 PM
Turkwingle, "I have a warrant


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 11:14:42 PM
for your arrest.  Stealing words


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 18, 2007, 11:21:11 PM
is a felony around here."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 11:30:18 PM
Embarrassed, Chelc took the four


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 18, 2007, 11:33:01 PM
stolen words from her pocket


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 18, 2007, 11:40:36 PM
 and said, "These words are


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 19, 2007, 07:21:45 AM
the cause of my humiliation. 


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 11:12:55 AM
Sometimes when counting to five,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 11:17:25 AM
my chemistry overloaded brain gets


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 11:29:23 AM
(This gets more and more painful every time I do this...  And by 'painful' I of course mean TOTALLY FLIPPIN' EXCITING!  How will it end?  WHEN will it end?  To be continued, but for now... This is our masterpiece)

Quote
The fire was finally starting to die down, but we continued to stick our smores in the smoking ash pile.  Bob looked up from his nearby foxhole and called out, "Pete!  Where are you, buddy?"  A tuft of Pete's hair was still ablaze because of his unnatural attraction to smores.  An onslaught of toxic fumes mingled with the falling snowflakes and turned the air pink.  The Snowman Contest was officially begun.  "Now where did I put that lump of C4?" Pete asked himself as he picked marshmallow from his teeth.

Meanwhile, back in the foxhole, Bob was packing his first suitcase full of yellow snow.  Pete had told him that it was full of nutrients so he wanted to stockpile in case he was ever left stranded in the wilderness alone. But as for now, getting stranded was the least of his worries, since the grizzly bear was running straight at his beloved girlfriend Agatha Krispy.  "Aggy! Look out!" he cried.  But alas, Aggy was only a hallucination. The real beloved in his life was actually the grizzly bear, who looked like his dear Aunt Sarah, but only barely.  He hated the resemblence between Sarah and the fanged beast, but since she was prettier than Aunt Sarah, he decided he would light another short match.  On fire again, Pete's hair lit a beacon, attracting a rather large swarm of wallabies which lunged at Drama Mama and tore off her sequined and smug smile before they commenced to eating her insides.

The next morning, drama mama hauled what was left of her badly mangled body to apologize to dear Chelc for just plain being a biotch.  Unimpressed and justifiably miffed, pulled a sword from nowhere Chelc pulled a sword from nowhere and held it threateningly while Drama Mama cowered and begged for her miserable, putrid life!  But Chelc, being the lady of spite, only smiled and then spit into the drama mama's cup of yellow snow!

"Let that be a lesson to those who stand in my path to greatness and bring me Bob and Pete."

"It wasn't me," Pete said with a derisive snort that nearly started an avalanche on cue.  Everyone was relieved, but they had no idea what to do or say next!

And they were not alone.  Through the trees, wraithlike, winged monkeys on a sugar high came crashing into the clearing with a bang. "Toto! Toto!" shrieked the rabid howler monkeys, and then threw red shoes that hit Bob and Pete knocking Bob to the ground, and killing poor Pete.

"Why does this ALWAYS happen?" Bob laughed.  The reason was that a monkey had landed on top of his yellow snowman.  The yellow snowman vaulted high into the chemical addled skies, propelled by his ammonia driven flatulence.  "Damn snowman-stealing monkeys, their ammonia addiction really must be stopped, or we'll all be asphyxiated by the fumes!"  Pete said, grabbing the flamethrower. 

"Pete! I witnessed your death!!" 

"The vampire monkeys revived me!" 

"But that means, oh no." 

"Yup, I'm a vampire monkey!"  Pete said, and lunged at Bob with the ferocity of the standard vampire monkey.

"Wait!  Wouldn't you rather have yellow snow?" Bob said, waving garlic and onion omelets at him. 

"With blood and ammonia?" Pete said, talking the plate from Chelc.

"Not bad! I could get used to this.  But, where does this blood come from?" she asked, holding Drama Mama's decapitated head by the blood-soaked blonde banana curl behind her back. Bob winced when he saw Chelc's diabolical plan: blood of a blonde.  Chelc sat the head atop a makeshift mantle, then said "Loth and Aud can attest to my diabolical nature. You may think you're something special, but you'll never get ahead as long as you are behind."

Chelc then climbed aboard her turbo-charged vacuum cleaner and chanted the magical words: "Ye Woot. Ye Woot. Ye Woot."

The vacuum revved and flew over Bob, who dove for cover behind a yellow snowman.  "I'm leaving this snowman infested wilderness and going to Vegas!"  The cord of Chelc's vacuum was thankfully 3,000 miles long and so she could fly, with Bob on the back, all the way to Vegas.  As they came in for for a hoover-icious landing, Bob began to teeter precariously.  Unsympathetic, Chelc shoved poor Bob over the side to dangle in terror as she finally cut the cord and set for landing on a roof. 

The clock struck one. Perfect.  She was just in time to witness the destruction of Bob and Pete's House of solid hershey's dark chocolate build.  Chelc ran over and began to plunge her teeth into Bob's leg.

"Hey!" he shouted, "I'm not a chocolate house!"

"Cannibalism! You'll get used to it," Chelc said, "or you'll die from it."

"I see." Bob reached over and grabbed a gold-plated carving knife from the vacuum belt, hidden beneath the chocolate rubble.  He wondered about the winged monkeys.  But with Chelc ready to and the knife in hand, he knew he was overmatched.  "Just eat the chocolate!" he demanded, "and not the leg!"

"Hmmm, chocolate covered leg."  Chelc garbled through streams of drool "But I will be merciful!" "Later! That vampire monkey has been eyeing my Bob for twenty moons, and now I want retribution. Bob, hide yourself!" 

Bob hid underneath the green cupcake factory sign and wept.  He then pulled a tissue and a hunk of chocolate out of his greasy little assortment of purses. Chelc faced the cupcake factory sign and pulled out the rocket launcher she'd stashed in her backpack.  Calmly, and with great precision, she aimed at the approaching ice cream truck.

"I hate butter brickle, you selfish bastard!"  Chelc then pulled the trigger, launching the rocket propelled incendiary anti-lactose missile straight up the ice cream truck's wazoo. 

Shockingly, Bob refused to die!  He got up and said, "I refuse to die, so you can stick your launcher where the sun don't..." 

Suddenly, the sound of wicked laughter came blasting from the truck's super secret compartment, secretly located in the fudge-bar freezer.  Chelc approached slowly and reached inside the freezer.  "I wonder why a bengal tiger is chewing on my ankle."

Because Chelc used nine words, the five word police came immediately.  "Young Chelc," said Officer Turkwingle, "I have a warrant for your arrest.  Stealing words is a felony around here." 

Embarrassed, Chelc took the four stolen words from her pocket and said, "These words are the cause of my humiliation.  Sometimes when counting to five, my chemistry overloaded brain gets


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 19, 2007, 11:34:27 AM
I chuckle with delight every time I open this thread.  This is the most fun I've had on a writing site yet!  To continue...

drenched in hormones and I


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 11:41:55 AM
want to impress Johnny Depp!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 19, 2007, 12:01:28 PM
And he's impressed by lots


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 12:24:42 PM
of words from Wisconsin girls.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 12:52:19 PM
He even sent me flowers


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 01:06:43 PM
recently - came to my house


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 19, 2007, 02:38:00 PM
dressed as a wacky pirate.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 02:46:25 PM
He handed me the bouquet


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 03:14:31 PM
and I'm ashamed to admit


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 03:24:53 PM
that I sneezed, then fainted


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 19, 2007, 03:41:23 PM
right into his waiting arms.


(Hey, how'd we get in the first person?)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 03:55:25 PM
(we're in first person b/c it looks like we've given actress Chelc her very own soliloquy!)

And oh, what bliss it


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 04:24:08 PM
was to look into those


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 04:29:44 PM
smoldering eyes!"  Chelc almost fainted


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 19, 2007, 04:30:52 PM
but instead took out a


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 04:37:35 PM
permit, enabling her to use


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 19, 2007, 04:39:56 PM
extra words provided she had


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 19, 2007, 04:47:10 PM
a really really good reason.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 05:04:14 PM
Exasperated, the officer said "Fine,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 19, 2007, 05:10:35 PM
since you have a really


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 05:59:51 PM
really, really, really, really, really      :wag:


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 19, 2007, 06:07:29 PM
 :rof2:  :rolf: :rof3: :rof2: :rof3: :rolf: :rof2: (cut it out! I can't breathe!)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 06:13:13 PM
good reason, and since Johnny


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 19, 2007, 06:34:27 PM
is wrapped around your little


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 06:58:33 PM
baby toe, I suppose I


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 19, 2007, 07:08:06 PM
could make an exception, but


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 19, 2007, 07:11:36 PM
don't let it happen again.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 19, 2007, 07:20:08 PM
"

"I understand," said Chelc, "but


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 07:26:01 PM
do you mind if I


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 19, 2007, 10:17:28 PM
dance the mamba on your


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 19, 2007, 11:05:50 PM
police car?  I just gotta


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 12:19:43 AM
show Johnny my mad skills


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 20, 2007, 08:40:39 AM
and hope that he doesn't


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 20, 2007, 09:00:57 AM
pass out from my awesomeness.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 09:02:44 AM
Most boys do," she sighed.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 20, 2007, 09:28:04 AM
"It's pretty tough on a


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 20, 2007, 09:46:20 AM
wonderful awesome chick such as


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 20, 2007, 10:29:26 AM
me, me, me, me, ME!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 10:32:32 AM
She whipped out her launcher


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 20, 2007, 10:35:22 AM
and her rocket shooter, too.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 11:22:50 AM
Johnny looked on, impressed by


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 20, 2007, 11:53:08 AM
Chelc's mad skills.  "What a


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 12:00:39 PM
gem, this Chelc!" he said.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 20, 2007, 12:23:48 PM
"Alright miss, carry on with


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 20, 2007, 12:31:33 PM
whatever the heck it is


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 20, 2007, 12:45:18 PM
that you are doing with


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 20, 2007, 02:15:35 PM
that rocket launcher thing and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 20, 2007, 02:49:22 PM
just make sure from now


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 04:27:56 PM
on, NO... MORE... STEALING... WORDS!!!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 04:50:26 PM
Chelc pouted and stuffed the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 20, 2007, 04:54:06 PM
rocket launcher and leg of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 05:02:15 PM
chocolate into Johnny Depp's pocket.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 05:43:40 PM
He did not smile.  Instead


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 05:49:28 PM
he looked at her like


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 20, 2007, 05:50:46 PM
a starving man, and she


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 06:04:46 PM
leapt into his waiting arms


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 06:15:54 PM
like the stalker she is.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 06:22:54 PM
Meanwhile, Vampire Pete and Bob


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 20, 2007, 06:37:11 PM
, having no new plot ideas,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 06:40:55 PM
left the scene for good.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 06:47:39 PM
Well, that wasn't cool.  We went from vampire monkeys and yellow snowmen to Johnny Depp, and when I try to bring the original MC's back into play, you do that!

The wallabies were attacking again!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 06:53:28 PM
(It's called a plot twist!  No one expects (a.) the MC's to perish, and (b.) a Spanish Inquisition)

Chelc swiped Jonny's pirate sword >  :ride:


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 07:10:15 PM
Our weapon is suprise.  That's all.  Just surprise.
What about fear?
Shut up!


brought out the comfy chair


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 20, 2007, 07:12:01 PM
and made some wallabie puree


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 07:20:45 PM
, lightly sauteed in garlic butter.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 08:15:19 PM
Then the grizzly bear came!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 08:53:58 PM
With him, Bob and Pete!

(see Loth - surprises!)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 08:55:32 PM
They gathererd around the campfire


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 20, 2007, 09:12:04 PM
and the bear quickly devoured


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 09:16:28 PM
both of them.  Deeply disturbed,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 09:19:28 PM
the grizzly took some antiacid


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 09:22:56 PM
lookalike tablets.  But they weren't


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 20, 2007, 09:24:48 PM
really antiacid.  They were really


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 09:27:33 PM
nickels.  This annoyed the bear.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 09:35:15 PM
and also killed him.  So


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 20, 2007, 09:36:54 PM
now Chelc was left alone


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 09:42:41 PM
with Johnny... so she thought!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 09:44:48 PM
And then came the monkeys.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 20, 2007, 09:51:55 PM
The cheeky, sneaky monkeys, who


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 20, 2007, 10:50:08 PM
picked up Johnny by the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 20, 2007, 11:05:56 PM
scabbard and hauled him off


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 21, 2007, 07:28:46 AM
, leaving Chelc all alone and


(Sorry Chelc, he was way too old for you anyway)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 21, 2007, 09:25:38 AM
, being the only character left,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 21, 2007, 09:28:50 AM
demanded a rewrite from the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 21, 2007, 09:33:43 AM
entire Query Tracker writing team.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 21, 2007, 09:42:45 AM
(So, back to the beginning)

The fire was finally starting


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 21, 2007, 09:46:12 AM
to tear through the bookstore


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 21, 2007, 09:52:42 AM
, just the way Chelc had


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 21, 2007, 10:10:01 AM
planned it.  Losing Johnny Depp


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 21, 2007, 10:19:34 AM
had driven her completely mad


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 21, 2007, 12:22:32 PM
, which wasn't a lengthy trip.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 21, 2007, 02:29:22 PM
 :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help: :help:

Quote
The fire was finally starting to die down, but we continued to stick our smores in the smoking ash pile.  Bob looked up from his nearby foxhole and called out, "Pete!  Where are you, buddy?"  A tuft of Pete's hair was still ablaze because of his unnatural attraction to smores.  An onslaught of toxic fumes mingled with the falling snowflakes and turned the air pink.  The Snowman Contest was officially begun.  "Now where did I put that lump of C4?" Pete asked himself as he picked marshmallow from his teeth.

Meanwhile, back in the foxhole, Bob was packing his first suitcase full of yellow snow.  Pete had told him that it was full of nutrients so he wanted to stockpile in case he was ever left stranded in the wilderness alone. But as for now, getting stranded was the least of his worries, since the grizzly bear was running straight at his beloved girlfriend Agatha Krispy.  "Aggy! Look out!" he cried.  But alas, Aggy was only a hallucination. The real beloved in his life was actually the grizzly bear, who looked like his dear Aunt Sarah, but only barely.  He hated the resemblence between Sarah and the fanged beast, but since she was prettier than Aunt Sarah, he decided he would light another short match.  On fire again, Pete's hair lit a beacon, attracting a rather large swarm of wallabies which lunged at Drama Mama and tore off her sequined and smug smile before they commenced to eating her insides.

The next morning, drama mama hauled what was left of her badly mangled body to apologize to dear Chelc for just plain being a biotch.  Unimpressed and justifiably miffed, pulled a sword from nowhere Chelc pulled a sword from nowhere and held it threateningly while Drama Mama cowered and begged for her miserable, putrid life!  But Chelc, being the lady of spite, only smiled and then spit into the drama mama's cup of yellow snow!

"Let that be a lesson to those who stand in my path to greatness and bring me Bob and Pete."

"It wasn't me," Pete said with a derisive snort that nearly started an avalanche on cue.  Everyone was relieved, but they had no idea what to do or say next!

And they were not alone.  Through the trees, wraithlike, winged monkeys on a sugar high came crashing into the clearing with a bang. "Toto! Toto!" shrieked the rabid howler monkeys, and then threw red shoes that hit Bob and Pete knocking Bob to the ground, and killing poor Pete.

"Why does this ALWAYS happen?" Bob laughed.  The reason was that a monkey had landed on top of his yellow snowman.  The yellow snowman vaulted high into the chemical addled skies, propelled by his ammonia driven flatulence.  "Damn snowman-stealing monkeys, their ammonia addiction really must be stopped, or we'll all be asphyxiated by the fumes!"  Pete said, grabbing the flamethrower. 

"Pete! I witnessed your death!!" 

"The vampire monkeys revived me!" 

"But that means, oh no." 

"Yup, I'm a vampire monkey!"  Pete said, and lunged at Bob with the ferocity of the standard vampire monkey.

"Wait!  Wouldn't you rather have yellow snow?" Bob said, waving garlic and onion omelets at him. 

"With blood and ammonia?" Pete said, talking the plate from Chelc.

"Not bad! I could get used to this.  But, where does this blood come from?" she asked, holding Drama Mama's decapitated head by the blood-soaked blonde banana curl behind her back. Bob winced when he saw Chelc's diabolical plan: blood of a blonde.  Chelc sat the head atop a makeshift mantle, then said "Loth and Aud can attest to my diabolical nature. You may think you're something special, but you'll never get ahead as long as you are behind."

Chelc then climbed aboard her turbo-charged vacuum cleaner and chanted the magical words: "Ye Woot. Ye Woot. Ye Woot."

The vacuum revved and flew over Bob, who dove for cover behind a yellow snowman.  "I'm leaving this snowman infested wilderness and going to Vegas!"  The cord of Chelc's vacuum was thankfully 3,000 miles long and so she could fly, with Bob on the back, all the way to Vegas.  As they came in for for a hoover-icious landing, Bob began to teeter precariously.  Unsympathetic, Chelc shoved poor Bob over the side to dangle in terror as she finally cut the cord and set for landing on a roof. 

The clock struck one. Perfect.  She was just in time to witness the destruction of Bob and Pete's House of solid hershey's dark chocolate build.  Chelc ran over and began to plunge her teeth into Bob's leg.

"Hey!" he shouted, "I'm not a chocolate house!"

"Cannibalism! You'll get used to it," Chelc said, "or you'll die from it."

"I see." Bob reached over and grabbed a gold-plated carving knife from the vacuum belt, hidden beneath the chocolate rubble.  He wondered about the winged monkeys.  But with Chelc ready to and the knife in hand, he knew he was overmatched.  "Just eat the chocolate!" he demanded, "and not the leg!"

"Hmmm, chocolate covered leg."  Chelc garbled through streams of drool "But I will be merciful!" "Later! That vampire monkey has been eyeing my Bob for twenty moons, and now I want retribution. Bob, hide yourself!" 

Bob hid underneath the green cupcake factory sign and wept.  He then pulled a tissue and a hunk of chocolate out of his greasy little assortment of purses. Chelc faced the cupcake factory sign and pulled out the rocket launcher she'd stashed in her backpack.  Calmly, and with great precision, she aimed at the approaching ice cream truck.

"I hate butter brickle, you selfish bastard!"  Chelc then pulled the trigger, launching the rocket propelled incendiary anti-lactose missile straight up the ice cream truck's wazoo. 

Shockingly, Bob refused to die!  He got up and said, "I refuse to die, so you can stick your launcher where the sun don't..." 

Suddenly, the sound of wicked laughter came blasting from the truck's super secret compartment, secretly located in the fudge-bar freezer.  Chelc approached slowly and reached inside the freezer.  "I wonder why a bengal tiger is chewing on my ankle."

Because Chelc used nine words, the five word police came immediately.  "Young Chelc," said Officer Turkwingle, "I have a warrant for your arrest.  Stealing words is a felony around here." 

Embarrassed, Chelc took the four stolen words from her pocket and said, "These words are the cause of my humiliation.  Sometimes when counting to five, my chemistry overloaded brain gets drenched in hormones and I want to impress Johnny Depp!  And he's impressed by lots of words from Wisconsin girls.  He even sent me flowers recently - came to my house dressed as a wacky pirate.  He handed me the bouquet and I'm ashamed to admit that I sneezed, then fainted right into his waiting arms.  And oh, what bliss it was to look into those smoldering eyes!" 

Chelc almost fainted but instead took out a permit, enabling her to use extra words provided she had a really really good reason.  Exasperated, the officer said "Fine, since you have a really really, really, really, really, really good reason, and since Johnny is wrapped around your little baby toe, I suppose I could make an exception, but don't let it happen again."

"I understand," said Chelc, "but do you mind if I dance the mamba on your police car?  I just gotta show Johnny my mad skills and hope that he doesn't pass out from my awesomeness.  Most boys do," she sighed. "It's pretty tough on a wonderful awesome chick such as me, me, me, me, ME!" 

She whipped out her launcher and her rocket shooter, too.  Johnny looked on, impressed by Chelc's mad skills.  "What a gem, this Chelc!" he said.

"Alright miss, carry on with whatever the heck it is that you are doing with that rocket launcher thing and just make sure from now on, NO... MORE... STEALING... WORDS!!!"

Chelc pouted and stuffed the rocket launcher and leg of chocolate into Johnny Depp's pocket.  He did not smile.  Instead he looked at her like a starving man, and she leapt into his waiting arms like the stalker she is.

Meanwhile, Vampire Pete and Bob, having no new plot ideas, left the scene for good.

The wallabies were attacking again!  Chelc swiped Johnny's pirate sword brought out the comfy chair and made some wallabie puree, lightly sauteed in garlic butter. 

Then the grizzly bear came! 

With him, Bob and Pete! 

They gathered around the campfire and the bear quickly devoured both of them.  Deeply disturbed, the grizzly took some antiacid lookalike tablets.  But they weren't really antiacid.  They were really nickels.  This annoyed the bear and also killed him.  So now Chelc was left alone with Johnny... so she thought!

And then came the monkeys. The cheeky, sneaky monkeys, who picked up Johnny by the scabbard and hauled him off, leaving Chelc all alone and, being the only character left, demanded a rewrite from the entire Query Tracker writing team. 

(So, back to the beginning)

The fire was finally starting to tear through the bookstore, just the way Chelc had planned it.  Losing Johnny Depp had driven her completely mad, which wasn't a lengthy trip.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 21, 2007, 03:03:36 PM
Suddenly, a book from the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 21, 2007, 04:52:33 PM
?!!?!?!?!??!
:rolf:
:clap:


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 21, 2007, 05:23:13 PM
the flaming bestseller section spoke!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 21, 2007, 05:51:13 PM
(Aud, I think you can leave out the first version from your recaps now)


"I always hated Fahrenheit 451


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 21, 2007, 05:55:32 PM
(Pat - it's actually an easier process than you might think - though it does take a lotta space.)

OK, folks - I have a proposal.  Since this could go on & on, what say we set up a finish line?  Any takers and suggestions as far as a date?

I will now continue with my next 5 words:


," said To Kill A Mockingbird.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 21, 2007, 06:05:53 PM
"I heard that!" responded Fahrenheit


(Sure, we can set a closing date.  Could we also set some kind of closing situation, which we have to steer the story towards? Just to give it direction and make it a little more of a challenge.)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 22, 2007, 11:56:27 AM
(What happened? Doesn't anyone want to play anymore  :'()


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 22, 2007, 01:33:21 PM
I don't know what a book would say.  ??? Let's start over.

A shadow slipped between the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 22, 2007, 02:07:37 PM
darkened buildings, stealthily creeping around


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 22, 2007, 03:03:59 PM
(OK, no more talking books [maybe])

an abandoned car and a


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 22, 2007, 06:00:16 PM
drunk passed out in the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 23, 2007, 12:12:13 AM
bright glare of the street


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 23, 2007, 08:24:19 AM
lights.  When he reached the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 23, 2007, 03:20:15 PM
deserted fun park, he began


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 23, 2007, 03:38:30 PM
he began to play hockey


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 23, 2007, 05:30:21 PM
(who are we talking about here?)
with several other shadowy figures


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 23, 2007, 05:46:31 PM
(I don't think we know who we're talking about.  Feel free to clarify it for us)


wearing hockey masks and carrying


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 23, 2007, 05:53:43 PM
butcher knives.  "This game's dangerous,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 23, 2007, 05:56:50 PM
but crafty monkeys like us


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 23, 2007, 06:01:13 PM
(DAMN IT!!! Monkeys...)

have four thumbs, so we


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 23, 2007, 06:15:52 PM
can barely hold these knives."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 23, 2007, 06:35:49 PM
Damn, I got nothing to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 23, 2007, 07:20:15 PM
 :koolaid: drink my kool-aid in or


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 23, 2007, 07:28:01 PM
any cyanide to add flavor.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 23, 2007, 10:24:54 PM
Monkeys will always go to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 23, 2007, 10:27:21 PM
(I have COMPLTELY lost track of this off-track story)

great lengths when faced with


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 24, 2007, 12:11:49 AM
treacherous missions that require them


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 24, 2007, 12:19:26 AM
to be schnockered on Kool-Aid!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 24, 2007, 12:48:34 AM
The kool-aid tote'n monkeys jumped


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 24, 2007, 07:21:10 AM
when they heard the shot


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 24, 2007, 10:33:56 AM
that was intended to scatter


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 24, 2007, 10:35:11 AM
them forever from this story.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on September 24, 2007, 10:46:11 AM
Skittering from the hockey rink


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 24, 2007, 10:51:40 AM
and refusing to spill their


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 24, 2007, 10:57:48 AM
Kool-Aid as they left.

(I'm counting kool-aid as two words)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 24, 2007, 12:45:40 PM
The evil monkeys eat their


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 24, 2007, 01:34:57 PM
hearts out because they are


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 24, 2007, 02:17:55 PM
charter members of an exclusive


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 24, 2007, 03:11:49 PM
topless simian night club, where


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 24, 2007, 03:15:46 PM
innocence goes to shamelessly die.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 24, 2007, 03:20:47 PM
But, that is another story.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 24, 2007, 03:30:11 PM
Unfortunately, here's not the place


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 24, 2007, 03:35:45 PM
Meanwhile, back to our hero


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 24, 2007, 04:32:09 PM
who was still wandering aimlessly


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 24, 2007, 05:02:38 PM
looking for his car keys


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 24, 2007, 05:13:40 PM
on the outskirts of Vegas.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 24, 2007, 05:15:54 PM
In the distance, he could


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 24, 2007, 05:35:01 PM
see a flock of mutated


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 24, 2007, 07:34:44 PM
Kool Aid packages that had


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on September 25, 2007, 07:43:17 AM
been thrown a muck along


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on September 25, 2007, 01:51:19 PM
time ago, and now were


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on September 25, 2007, 02:15:03 PM
making their way into the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 25, 2007, 03:42:37 PM
(NOTE:  Patrick & I have traded PMs over the potential end of this particular 5-word thread, as it seems to be losing some steam -- not to mention direction.  Then again, what direction did it ever have?  However, since the thread itself was highly popular at the outset, we're thinking that for our next adventure we'll be given a little extra creative freedom.  It'll be a community effort in which we authors will be given an entire sentence instead of a simple 5-word fragment.  This will hopefully promote a more cohesive brand of insanity.  Anyone have any thoughts on this?  OK, that said, I will continue with this particular thread with the hopes of wrapping it up at a time TBA, but not far down the road... ~Aud)

dark depths of unread novels.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 25, 2007, 03:52:43 PM
(An entire sentence.  Just think of the trouble you could cause.)


Bob spotted his keys under


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 25, 2007, 04:02:22 PM
(Trouble is my middle name.  My last name is McWriter.  My monograms all read ATM.)

Emily Bronte (that harlot!), and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on September 25, 2007, 05:52:51 PM
politely asked her to move.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 25, 2007, 06:28:19 PM
Emily refused, and sister Charlotte


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 26, 2007, 04:30:45 PM
(woah, Aud, put in a recap of what's been going on here please!)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on September 29, 2007, 08:41:03 PM
cough ah-CHOO sniff drip sniff

(What's that Chelc?  I can't hear you because my ears are all clogged up! 

What?? 

I said I can't hear you because my ears are all clogged up!)



Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on September 30, 2007, 12:28:51 AM
(aww you're really that sick? well, I've been sick for the past two weeks--I stayed home thursday, and I'm better now, but looks like I've passed the bug on to you through the cyber world! haha!)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on October 10, 2007, 04:34:25 PM
(the five word thread has been abandoned!!  :'()


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Lotheus on October 11, 2007, 10:50:34 AM
pulled out her rocket launcher


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on October 11, 2007, 12:18:30 PM
and aimed at the monkeys.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: gypsygurl on October 11, 2007, 12:20:57 PM
Meanwhile, in the other room


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on October 12, 2007, 06:43:54 PM
( I forget who the main charter is but )

a man named Joe came


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Cole Gibsen on October 12, 2007, 07:38:44 PM
and burnt all the toast.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: justwrite on October 12, 2007, 08:03:03 PM
"Jeez, Louise," Charlotte said, "You


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on October 12, 2007, 10:42:05 PM
got any butter? I'm cooking


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on October 13, 2007, 10:29:41 AM
up a storm.  Want some?"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Cole Gibsen on October 13, 2007, 11:13:48 AM
Joe replied, "No thanks, I


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: gypsygurl on October 13, 2007, 12:21:03 PM
had some liver earlier." Unnerved,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on October 13, 2007, 01:30:53 PM
Charlotte fingered the scar on


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 15, 2007, 11:32:15 PM
her right forearm, terrified of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on October 16, 2007, 01:28:47 AM
Joe and the monkey behind


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 16, 2007, 01:59:43 PM
his screaming insanity and terror.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on October 16, 2007, 02:21:12 PM
Joe then suddenly turned on


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on October 16, 2007, 06:45:14 PM
a light so they could


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on October 16, 2007, 06:47:33 PM
attract a plethera of fireflies


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 16, 2007, 06:51:17 PM
, and capturing them in jars,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Cole Gibsen on October 17, 2007, 12:36:27 PM
they hurried back into the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on October 17, 2007, 07:12:33 PM
library to look up plethera.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 17, 2007, 09:52:38 PM
On the dusty shelves they


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Cole Gibsen on October 18, 2007, 11:21:16 AM
were stunned when they found


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 18, 2007, 11:28:11 AM
an open koolaid package.  What


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Patrick on October 18, 2007, 08:44:51 PM
( :up:  Oooh, Abi2k gets karma for jumping on the koolaid wagon.  Or is that falling OFF the wagon?)

mysterious stranger could have left


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 18, 2007, 11:41:50 PM
pink fingerprints?  Oh Yeah!  Go


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on October 21, 2007, 10:17:55 AM
to the section on fiction


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 21, 2007, 01:32:24 PM
and look for the old


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on October 27, 2007, 01:55:40 PM
scriptures on how to kill


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 27, 2007, 03:12:08 PM
the goat for sacrifice to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on October 29, 2007, 03:35:38 PM
ease the pain from kool-aid


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Cole Gibsen on October 29, 2007, 04:00:58 PM
addiction. Joe considered telling Charlotte


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 29, 2007, 07:10:39 PM
the baby couldn't possibly be


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on October 30, 2007, 08:23:19 AM
started chewing on Charlotte's sandwich.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Cole Gibsen on October 30, 2007, 10:01:36 AM
which unkown to him contained


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kaybounds on October 30, 2007, 02:41:28 PM
a mixture of three different


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 30, 2007, 03:03:09 PM
aphrodisiac herbs from Joanjunkmail's garden.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: joanjunkmail on October 30, 2007, 07:49:54 PM
"Well, I never!" said JJM


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Cole Gibsen on October 30, 2007, 08:55:50 PM
when audal showed up at


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: audal on October 30, 2007, 09:25:45 PM
the Pulitzer winner's award banquet.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on October 30, 2007, 09:32:36 PM
Sadly, he was only dreaming.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Alien on December 31, 2007, 09:25:20 AM
The periodic table of elements


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on January 13, 2008, 10:24:08 AM
started taking over audal's dream,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: teen-writer on January 26, 2008, 07:42:36 PM
and he drowned in beryllium.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Alien on January 27, 2008, 10:22:47 AM
He had drowned twice before


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 01:41:36 PM
and he drowned in beryllium.
(that made me laugh)



Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: teen-writer on January 27, 2008, 02:09:25 PM
, only painful chemistry could kill.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Alien on January 27, 2008, 03:00:37 PM
But a diamond is forever


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 05:44:17 PM
, unlike NaCl, which Chelc learned


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 05:44:58 PM
in chemistry is table salt.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 05:58:57 PM
"Gasp!" Chelc said, realizing she


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 05:59:24 PM
acually learned something in chemistry


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 05:59:52 PM
and remembers it as well!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:01:04 PM
Chelc sighed as she realized


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:01:21 PM
she was talking to herself


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:01:36 PM
five words at a time.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:01:55 PM
"guess I'll go do something"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:02:16 PM
she thought aloud, but then


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:03:07 PM
she realized (i seem to do a lot of realizing don't i?--this doesn't count in the 5 words!!) that now that


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:03:22 PM
chem was over, she had


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:03:38 PM
nothing to do! so she


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:03:57 PM
went to play online chess...


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Chelc on January 27, 2008, 06:04:39 PM
...losing. again. on level "easy".


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: coll on January 31, 2008, 05:07:22 PM
 
   so she called the hot guy


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: jwriter999 on February 01, 2008, 01:21:37 PM
who had slipped his card


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: coll on February 01, 2008, 04:07:58 PM

   in her advanced chemistry book


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: on February 06, 2008, 11:22:08 AM
two days later because Patrick


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Bline on February 06, 2008, 06:54:28 PM
lost his pants once again.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Abigail on February 06, 2008, 07:08:36 PM
Will he ever learn!  It's


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Bline on February 06, 2008, 09:47:09 PM
become a habitual occurrence that


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: on February 07, 2008, 01:17:52 PM
makes it hard to love


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: kallex on February 07, 2008, 02:19:01 PM
Snot hard atoll to dance


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: sarahjen on April 05, 2008, 12:54:44 AM
, but Patrick wanted love. Nevertheless,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on July 22, 2008, 03:25:39 PM
He was already married to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: MaryL on July 22, 2008, 05:57:39 PM
his work, so how could


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on July 22, 2008, 06:14:40 PM
he sashay his way into


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: MaryL on July 22, 2008, 06:24:30 PM
her unsuspecting heart once again?

(Okay, it took everything in me to keep his sashay G-rated, elkutswife.  Losing his pants didn't help!)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on July 22, 2008, 06:51:52 PM
 :rolf:

(ahem....)


Living up to his pantless

 ;D



Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on July 23, 2008, 05:23:41 PM
and witless reputation. But he


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: MaryL on July 23, 2008, 06:36:23 PM
pressed on, certain of his


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: elknutswife on July 23, 2008, 10:43:36 PM
success. As a brilliant and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on July 31, 2008, 02:48:52 PM
extraordinary pace of machinery. Opperating


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: raballard on August 20, 2008, 12:50:20 PM
cancelled due the weatherman's forcast.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: MaryL on August 20, 2008, 03:46:13 PM
"What now," he wondered as


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on September 02, 2008, 07:06:22 PM
the roof caved in becasue


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: ChristineF on September 02, 2008, 11:51:49 PM
of the torrential flood waters


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: lantern on October 22, 2008, 06:26:03 AM
that nearly washed away his


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on October 22, 2008, 05:34:58 PM
beloved computer and wife. But


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: lantern on October 22, 2008, 05:40:09 PM
at the very last moment


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on October 22, 2008, 05:48:53 PM
he grabbed the monitor cord


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: lantern on October 23, 2008, 05:46:33 AM
unfortunately, the action was too


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: lantern on October 24, 2008, 07:31:59 AM
little too late.  The loud


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: AutumnT on October 25, 2008, 10:49:06 AM
crash of the tower falling


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on October 25, 2008, 11:45:12 PM
made him forget the water

(lantern, at the beginning of this thread there is a rule about double posting.)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: AutumnT on October 26, 2008, 04:20:57 AM
was right under his feet


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on October 26, 2008, 02:38:23 PM
and he lost his belongings


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: AutumnT on October 26, 2008, 03:01:18 PM
to the flood of the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on November 01, 2008, 10:19:57 AM
water carrying his pants back


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 05, 2008, 07:25:15 AM
to him.  Where he found


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 12:15:43 AM
three shiny gold bars.  Amazed


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 01:26:38 AM
Because people wanted an update so very long ago… :eek:

Quote
(So, back to the beginning)

The fire was finally starting to tear through the bookstore, just the way Chelc had planned it.  Losing Johnny Depp had driven her completely mad, which wasn't a lengthy trip.  Suddenly, a book from the the flaming bestseller section spoke! 
"I always hated Fahrenheit 451," said To Kill A Mockingbird.
"I heard that!" responded Fahrenheit…

[Starting over… Again…]

A shadow slipped between the darkened buildings, stealthily creeping around an abandoned car and a drunk passed out in the bright glare of the street lights.  When he reached the deserted fun park, he began he began to play hockey with several other shadowy figures wearing hockey masks and carrying butcher knives.  "This game's dangerous, but crafty monkeys like us have four thumbs, so we can barely hold these knives."

Damn, I got nothing to drink my Kool-Aid in or any cyanide to add flavor.  Monkeys will always go to great lengths when faced with treacherous missions that require them to be schnockered on Kool-Aid!  The Kool-Aid tote'n monkeys jumped when they heard the shot that was intended to scatter them forever from this story.

Skittering from the hockey rink and refusing to spill their Kool-Aid as they left.  The evil monkeys eat their hearts out because they are charter members of an exclusive topless simian night club, where innocence goes to shamelessly die.  But, that is another story.  Unfortunately, here's not the place.

Meanwhile, back to our hero who was still wandering aimlessly looking for his car keys on the outskirts of Vegas.  In the distance, he could see a flock of mutated Kool-Aid packages that had been thrown a muck along time ago, and now were making their way into the dark depths of unread novels.  Bob spotted his keys under Emily Bronte (that harlot!), and politely asked her to move.

Emily refused, and sister Charlotte pulled out her rocket launcher and aimed at the monkeys.  Meanwhile, in the other room a man named Joe came and burnt all the toast.  "Jeez, Louise," Charlotte said, "You got any butter? I'm cooking up a storm.  Want some?"
Joe replied, "No thanks, I had some liver earlier."

Unnerved, Charlotte fingered the scar on her right forearm, terrified of Joe and the monkey behind his screaming insanity and terror.  Joe then suddenly turned on a light so they could attract a plethora of fireflies, and capturing them in jars, they hurried back into the library to look up plethora.

On the dusty shelves they were stunned when they found an open Kool-Aid package.  What mysterious stranger could have left pink fingerprints?  Oh Yeah!  Go to the section on fiction and look for the old scriptures on how to kill the goat for sacrifice to ease the pain from Kool-Aid addiction.  Joe considered telling Charlotte the baby couldn't possibly be started chewing on Charlotte's sandwich, which unknown to him contained a mixture of three different aphrodisiac herbs from Joanjunkmail's garden.
"Well, I never!" said JJM when Audal showed up at the Pulitzer winner's award banquet.  Sadly, he was only dreaming.

The periodic table of elements started taking over Audal's dream, and he drowned in beryllium.  He had drowned twice before, only painful chemistry could kill.  But a diamond is forever, unlike NaCl, which Chelc learned in chemistry is table salt.

"Gasp!" Chelc said, realizing she actually learned something in chemistry and remembers it as well!  Chelc sighed as she realized she was talking to herself five words at a time.  "Guess I'll go do something," she thought aloud, but then she realized that now that chem. was over, she had nothing to do!  So she went to play online chess… Losing.  Again.  On level "easy".

So she called the hot guy who had slipped his card in her advanced chemistry book two days later because Patrick lost his pants once again.  Will he ever learn!  It's become a habitual occurrence that makes it hard to love.  ‘Snot hard atoll to dance, but Patrick wanted love. Nevertheless, he was already married to his work, so how could he sashay his way into her unsuspecting heart once again?

Living up to his pantless and witless reputation.  But he pressed on, certain of his success.  As a brilliant and extraordinary piece of machinery. Operating canceled due the weatherman's forecast.

"What now," he wondered as the roof caved in because of the torrential flood waters that nearly washed away his beloved computer and wife.  But at the very last moment he grabbed the monitor cord unfortunately, the action was too little too late.  The loud crash of the tower falling made him forget the water was right under his feet and he lost his belongings to the flood of the water carrying his pants back to him.  Where he found three shiny gold bars.  Amazed…


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 01:38:04 AM
he decided to forget about


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:16:26 AM
the water.  Gold was all


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:18:11 AM
he saw.  It sparkled magically,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:18:35 AM
and he knew he was


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:28:27 AM
really a beautiful, fairy princess.

(heh heh heh...  :naughty:)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:29:53 AM
So s/he fluttered gracefully away


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:30:38 AM
, away from his worries and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:31:42 AM
cares, off into the land


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:32:37 AM
of perpetual tickling, where they


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:33:08 AM
tickle you day and night,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:34:40 AM
night and day!  Even during


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:35:26 AM
nap-time!!!  And they don't stop,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:36:28 AM
even if you say 'pretty


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:37:19 AM
please'!  So s/he left for


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:39:29 AM
Berlin, the French Peas' warning

(VeggieTales reference done.)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:40:12 AM
fresh in his/her mind.  Germany


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:41:17 AM
was a wonderful country, home


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:45:40 AM
of the sauerkraut and potato


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:46:33 AM
pancakes.  But waffles, sadly, weren't


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:47:14 AM
on the menu.  So s/he


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:48:57 AM
fluttered to England, en route


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:49:55 AM
to Neverland, the land of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:50:36 AM
carefree, flying children.  They greeted


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 02:53:32 AM
Patric[k/a] with glee and gave

(Patric[k/a] = Patrick/Patricia, to keep up with his/her fairy princess-ness)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 02:55:07 AM
him/her many reasons to go.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 03:00:45 AM
But s/he decided to stay


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 03:03:00 AM
anyway, because Peter is awesome.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 03:04:22 AM
And Pan's peanut butter is


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 03:06:54 AM
not made anymore.  Only the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 03:09:24 AM
residents of Neverland can enjoy


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 03:11:39 AM
that smooth, creamy, delicious taste


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 03:12:17 AM
of Peter Pan's peanut butter.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 03:14:16 AM
And for people who don't want to scroll through the pages, there is an update earlier, of the stuff before this, and that's on page 32.
Quote
The loud crash of the tower falling made him forget the water was right under his feet and he lost his belongings to the flood of the water carrying his pants back to him.  Where he found three shiny gold bars.  Amazed he decided to forget about the water.  Gold was all he saw.  It sparkled magically, and he knew he was really a beautiful, fairy princess.

So s/he fluttered gracefully away, away from his worries and cares, off into the land of perpetual tickling, where they tickle you day and night, night and day!  Even during nap-time!!!  And they don't stop, even if you say 'pretty please'!  So s/he left for Berlin, the French Peas' warning fresh in his/her mind.  Germany was a wonderful country, home of the sauerkraut and potato pancakes.  But waffles, sadly, weren't on the menu.

So s/he fluttered to England, en route to Neverland, the land of carefree, flying children.  They greeted Patric[k/a] with glee and gave him/her many reasons to go.  But s/he decided to stay anyway, because Peter is awesome.  And Pan's peanut butter is not made anymore.  Only the residents of Neverland can enjoy that smooth, creamy, delicious taste of Peter Pan's peanut butter.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 10, 2008, 09:42:00 AM
So with a plate of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 03:55:13 PM
bread in one hand and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 10, 2008, 07:11:33 PM
a jar of peanut butter


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Wiggypop on December 10, 2008, 08:57:59 PM
in the other, he screamed


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 09:07:47 PM
, "Give me a butter knife


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 10, 2008, 10:03:00 PM
or you won't get any


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 10, 2008, 10:04:49 PM
more fairy dust!"  And with


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Wiggypop on December 11, 2008, 12:00:22 AM
that he disappeared.  A cloud


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 11, 2008, 01:38:31 AM
of pixi stix and lollipops


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 11, 2008, 05:19:24 AM
in his/her wake.  Then s/he


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: newday11 on December 11, 2008, 07:26:21 AM
looked up at the sky


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 11, 2008, 09:15:07 AM
and said "where am I?"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Wiggypop on December 11, 2008, 09:41:26 AM
An eerie voice replied, "You


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 11, 2008, 05:51:35 PM
have entered the Twilight Zone."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 11, 2008, 08:20:12 PM
Patric[k/a] screamed.  He didn't know


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Wiggypop on December 11, 2008, 09:21:23 PM
that the Twilight Zone was


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 11, 2008, 10:12:26 PM
real.  He only believed in


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 11, 2008, 10:25:34 PM
fairies, carefree flying children, and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 11, 2008, 10:27:27 PM
The Outer Limits.  Everyone knows


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 11, 2008, 10:28:39 PM
that They are in control.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 12, 2008, 06:07:40 AM
Or so they think.  Alas,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 12, 2008, 02:58:37 PM
Patrick's now black and white.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: ericksonfamily on December 12, 2008, 03:25:32 PM
He's stuck in a bad


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 12, 2008, 06:50:14 PM
spot of pudding with no


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 12, 2008, 07:03:52 PM
trace of pink snow to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 13, 2008, 12:22:48 AM
brighten the giant gray doll-house.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 13, 2008, 02:45:56 AM
The Twilight Zone was completely


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: ericksonfamily on December 13, 2008, 10:11:28 AM
consuming everything he/she believed, and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 13, 2008, 06:47:52 PM
Patric[k/a] decided it was time


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 13, 2008, 07:22:13 PM
to hightail it on out


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 14, 2008, 01:32:20 PM
to someplace more colorful, like


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 14, 2008, 02:43:20 PM
the other side of the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 14, 2008, 04:24:42 PM
fence that bordered the West


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 14, 2008, 04:56:59 PM
where a brilliant display of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 14, 2008, 10:37:19 PM
rainbows and lemon drops highlighted


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: ChristineF on December 15, 2008, 02:54:12 AM
colors so bizarre as to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 15, 2008, 03:54:02 AM
dazzle and entrance the imagination.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: ericksonfamily on December 15, 2008, 07:23:31 AM
It was the Candy Land


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 15, 2008, 07:35:52 AM
Metropolis, which until now had


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 15, 2008, 10:33:13 PM
closed for resugaring.  But now


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 16, 2008, 01:16:41 AM
it had opened again, and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 16, 2008, 01:20:38 AM
s/he fluttered gracefully into the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 16, 2008, 04:27:28 PM
 field of green gummy grass.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 16, 2008, 04:59:23 PM
Grasping a heaping handful of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 16, 2008, 06:45:12 PM
red jellybeans, which were his


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 16, 2008, 07:28:26 PM
favorite kind, he alighted upon


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 16, 2008, 07:48:08 PM
a magic mushroom and sat


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 16, 2008, 07:49:06 PM
down to enjoy his/her cherry


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 16, 2008, 07:51:25 PM
beans of dazzling, delicious delight.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 16, 2008, 08:00:01 PM
Update on the "Amazing and Eclectic Adventures of Patric[k/a] the Beautiful Fairy Princess" ;D
(We should totally have a fairy emoticon for this!)
Quote
Where he found three shiny gold bars.  Amazed he decided to forget about the water.  Gold was all he saw.  It sparkled magically, and he knew he was really a beautiful, fairy princess.

So s/he fluttered gracefully away, away from his worries and cares, off into the land of perpetual tickling, where they tickle you day and night, night and day!  Even during nap-time!!!  And they don't stop, even if you say 'pretty please'!  So s/he left for Berlin, the French Peas' warning fresh in his/her mind.  Germany was a wonderful country, home of the sauerkraut and potato pancakes.  But waffles, sadly, weren't on the menu.

So s/he fluttered to England, en route to Neverland, the land of carefree, flying children.  They greeted Patric[k/a] with glee and gave him/her many reasons to go.  But s/he decided to stay anyway, because Peter is awesome.  And Pan's peanut butter is not made anymore.  Only the residents of Neverland can enjoy that smooth, creamy, delicious taste of Peter Pan's peanut butter.

So with a plate of bread in one hand and a jar of peanut butter in the other, he screamed, "Give me a butter knife more fairy dust!"  And with that he disappeared.  A cloud of pixi stix and lollipops in his/her wake.  Then s/he looked up at the sky and said, "Where am I?"

An eerie voice replied, "You have entered the Twilight Zone."  Patric[k/a] screamed.  He didn't know that the Twilight Zone was real.  He only believed in fairies, carefree flying children, and The Outer Limits.  Everyone knows that They are in control.  Or so they think.  Alas, Patric[k/a]'s now black and white.  S/He's stuck in a bad spot of pudding with no trace of pink snow to brighten the giant gray doll-house.

The Twilight Zone was completely consuming everything s/he believed, and Patric[k/a] decided it was time to hightail it on out to someplace more colorful, like the other side of the fence that bordered the West, where a brilliant display of rainbows and lemon drops highlighted colors so bizarre as to dazzle and entrance the imagination.  It was the Candy Land Metropolis, which until now had been closed for resugaring.  But now it had opened again, and s/he fluttered gracefully into the field of green gummy grass.

Grasping a heaping handful of red jellybeans, which were his favorite kind, he alighted upon a magic mushroom and sat down to enjoy his/her cherry beans of dazzling, delicious delight.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 16, 2008, 08:03:11 PM
Suddenly and quite gastronomically his


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 16, 2008, 10:47:10 PM
friend appeared, chewing the scenery.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 16, 2008, 11:25:59 PM
Patric[k/a]'s friend's name was Bob/ette,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 17, 2008, 04:01:58 AM
and he was a fairy


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 17, 2008, 04:02:50 AM
princess as well as a


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 17, 2008, 07:22:01 AM
steward of Broadway show tunes.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 17, 2008, 02:12:36 PM
Bob/ette began singing as soon


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 17, 2008, 04:25:17 PM
as he saw Patrick sitting


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 17, 2008, 05:27:19 PM
and counting his jellybeans thoughtfully


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 17, 2008, 07:00:12 PM
while contemplating the cosmos.  "Bob/ette


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 17, 2008, 07:03:27 PM
scratched the corner of his


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Wiggypop on December 18, 2008, 10:13:06 AM
universe.  A warp hole materialized


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 18, 2008, 12:24:14 PM
during a rousing rendition of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 18, 2008, 12:27:50 PM
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow".  Cumulus


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: MaryL on December 18, 2008, 01:30:54 PM
clouds obscured their view of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 18, 2008, 01:58:29 PM
The Battle of Waterloo, which


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 19, 2008, 01:30:11 PM
seemed to be happening just


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 19, 2008, 05:15:58 PM
outside their line of vision.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 19, 2008, 09:13:55 PM
"Good gravy!" He said, pointing


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 20, 2008, 06:18:29 AM
to the pair of ugly


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 20, 2008, 07:00:51 AM
coconuts that hung from a


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 20, 2008, 04:12:54 PM
from the nose of Baboo


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 21, 2008, 12:03:51 AM
pink and yellow pine tree.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 21, 2008, 01:04:06 AM
"This isn't good gravy," Bob/ette


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 21, 2008, 11:54:02 AM
"It's coconut milk! Hairy, old


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: ericksonfamily on December 21, 2008, 07:51:11 PM
friend.  What have we gotten


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 21, 2008, 08:37:11 PM
our boots in now? You


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 22, 2008, 07:00:11 AM
need to start looking for


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 22, 2008, 08:45:46 AM
the rare pecan crusted kumquat


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 22, 2008, 09:51:44 AM
 :rof2: :rof2: :rof2:


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 22, 2008, 02:52:05 PM
that only exists in alternate


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 22, 2008, 04:57:46 PM
realities on Thursday nights," he


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 22, 2008, 05:01:41 PM
explained while checking his handy


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 22, 2008, 08:11:23 PM
magical cell phone.  It was


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 22, 2008, 10:01:23 PM
showing a text message from


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 22, 2008, 10:07:32 PM
that randy dude who used


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 22, 2008, 11:22:28 PM
to wash his imaginary car.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 22, 2008, 11:31:37 PM
He had liked Randy, but


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 22, 2008, 11:35:40 PM
the dude was a little


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 22, 2008, 11:48:49 PM
crazy and, frankly, a bit


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 22, 2008, 11:57:38 PM
too indigo for his taste.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 23, 2008, 12:00:05 AM
Update-
Quote
Where he found three shiny gold bars.  Amazed he decided to forget about the water.  Gold was all he saw.  It sparkled magically, and he knew he was really a beautiful, fairy princess.

So s/he fluttered gracefully away, away from his worries and cares, off into the land of perpetual tickling, where they tickle you day and night, night and day!  Even during nap-time!!!  And they don't stop, even if you say 'pretty please'!  So s/he left for Berlin, the French Peas' warning fresh in his/her mind.  Germany was a wonderful country, home of the sauerkraut and potato pancakes.  But waffles, sadly, weren't on the menu.

So s/he fluttered to England, en route to Neverland, the land of carefree, flying children.  They greeted Patric[k/a] with glee and gave him/her many reasons to go.  But s/he decided to stay anyway, because Peter is awesome.  And Pan's peanut butter is not made anymore.  Only the residents of Neverland can enjoy that smooth, creamy, delicious taste of Peter Pan's peanut butter.

So with a plate of bread in one hand and a jar of peanut butter in the other, he screamed, "Give me a butter knife more fairy dust!"  And with that he disappeared.  A cloud of pixi stix and lollipops in his/her wake.  Then s/he looked up at the sky and said, "Where am I?"

An eerie voice replied, "You have entered the Twilight Zone."  Patric[k/a] screamed.  He didn't know that the Twilight Zone was real.  He only believed in fairies, carefree flying children, and The Outer Limits.  Everyone knows that They are in control.  Or so they think.  Alas, Patric[k/a]'s now black and white.  S/He's stuck in a bad spot of pudding with no trace of pink snow to brighten the giant gray doll-house.

The Twilight Zone was completely consuming everything s/he believed, and Patric[k/a] decided it was time to hightail it on out to someplace more colorful, like the other side of the fence that bordered the West, where a brilliant display of rainbows and lemon drops highlighted colors so bizarre as to dazzle and entrance the imagination.  It was the Candy Land Metropolis, which until now had been closed for resugaring.  But now it had opened again, and s/he fluttered gracefully into the field of green gummy grass.

Grasping a heaping handful of red jellybeans, which were his favorite kind, he alighted upon a magic mushroom and sat down to enjoy his/her cherry beans of dazzling, delicious delight.  Suddenly and quite gastronomically his friend appeared, chewing the scenery.  Patric[k/a]'s friend's name was Bob/ette, and he was a fairy  princess as well as a steward of Broadway show tunes.

Bob/ette began singing as soon as he saw Patric[k/a] sitting and counting his/her jellybeans thoughtfully while contemplating the cosmos.  Bob/ette scratched the corner of his/her universe.  A warp hole materialized during a rousing rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".  Cumulus clouds obscured their view of The Battle of Waterloo, which seemed to be happening just outside their line of vision.

"Good gravy!" S/He said, pointing to the pair of ugly coconuts that hung from a pink and yellow pine tree.

"This isn't good gravy," Bob/ette said.  "It's coconut milk! Hairy, old friend.  What have we gotten our boots in now? You need to start looking for the rare pecan crusted kumquat that only exists in alternate realities on Thursday nights," he explained while checking his handy magical cell phone.  It was showing a text message from that Randy dude who used to wash his imaginary car.

He had liked Randy, but the dude was a little crazy and, frankly, a bit too indigo for his taste.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 23, 2008, 01:06:20 AM
"Let's paint you pink and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 23, 2008, 01:19:33 AM
indigo," Randy texted.  Patrick sighed.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 23, 2008, 01:20:30 AM
(OT: Yay!  I'm now a hero member!  Karma for all! ;D)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 23, 2008, 03:19:54 AM
Bob/ette, weirded out, felt like  (OT: I'm a new hero too.  Whoopee!)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 23, 2008, 03:27:21 AM
he'd just seen several monkeys

(OT:  KC, I'm getting a crick in my neck from looking at that picture of yours. ;D)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 23, 2008, 03:34:17 AM
(kestrel, apologies ... it's toast, I'm having tech probs.  Poof, back to pink)
and they knew show tunes


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 23, 2008, 03:43:49 AM
but couldn't sing a note


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 23, 2008, 05:31:42 AM
in tune to save their


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 23, 2008, 05:33:05 AM
pathetic little lives.  Patrick, on

(MWAHAHAHAHAHA!  Pathetic… ;D)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 23, 2008, 05:37:58 AM
the other hand, was now


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 23, 2008, 05:43:34 AM
texting Randy back, saying "Dude,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 23, 2008, 05:47:05 AM
no way!  If anything, we


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 23, 2008, 06:53:26 AM
know an accomplished alto baritone who

(not sure how I messed up my post so please allow 6 words to make it work)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 23, 2008, 02:04:01 PM
knows "Phantom of the Opera"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 23, 2008, 03:23:08 PM
which he can do standing


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 23, 2008, 03:57:03 PM
on a white picket fence.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 23, 2008, 03:58:38 PM
We can paint him."  Bob/ette


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 23, 2008, 05:05:48 PM
looked over Patrick's left wing


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 23, 2008, 06:05:03 PM
We can try, but I


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 23, 2008, 07:50:44 PM
prefer neutral shades over berry-tones."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 23, 2008, 07:52:04 PM
"Barritones!" Patrick annunciated.  "You know,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 23, 2008, 10:15:29 PM
I can play a mean


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 23, 2008, 10:18:28 PM
birdhouse gourd, if I'm in


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 23, 2008, 10:20:52 PM
Tijuana, putting small sheep on


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 23, 2008, 11:46:53 PM
an express flight to Canada."

(I didn't think it could get any weirder than a rare, pecan crusted kumquat.  Apparently I was wrong. :rof3:)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 24, 2008, 12:37:34 AM
Bob/ette caught the faintest glint

(Oh, baby, you ain't seen weird yet ... hello! I write about fat supervillains who foil their own crimes and multi gifted psychics who set unlit cigars on fire while they are in somebody's pocket )  You got weird?  Bring it on, baby!   I got strange -- I'm done, behaving self.  :)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 26, 2008, 10:41:38 PM
of gold in Patric[k/a]'s pocket.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 27, 2008, 12:11:19 AM
"Where did you get that?"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 27, 2008, 12:17:55 AM
 he asked.  Patric[k/a] paused.
"Why


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 27, 2008, 01:21:38 AM
do you want to know?"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 27, 2008, 04:16:38 AM
"'Cause I could use some


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 27, 2008, 04:38:01 AM
cash, you know, to pay


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 27, 2008, 04:50:07 AM
off my dental bills.  Those


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 27, 2008, 06:05:52 AM
blades of gummy grass hurt


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: eallen99 on December 27, 2008, 07:34:30 AM
my upper molars last winter.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 27, 2008, 04:51:59 PM
Bobette opened his mouth so


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on December 28, 2008, 01:17:18 AM
Patrick could fully appreciate the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on December 28, 2008, 02:03:01 PM
tiny construction-workers jackhammering cavities into


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 28, 2008, 03:54:01 PM
oblivion.  "Aw, they're so cute!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 28, 2008, 07:21:13 PM
"Really?  I can't see them."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 28, 2008, 09:19:05 PM
"That's because you're always singing!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 30, 2008, 01:33:46 PM
  Naturally, you wouldn't see them."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on December 30, 2008, 02:02:50 PM
Just when I thought this couldn't get any more amazing. :no: :yes: :up:
Quote
Where he found three shiny gold bars.  Amazed he decided to forget about the water.  Gold was all he saw.  It sparkled magically, and he knew he was really a beautiful, fairy princess.

So he fluttered gracefully away, away from his worries and cares, off into the land of perpetual tickling, where they tickle you day and night, night and day!  Even during nap-time!!!  And they don't stop, even if you say 'pretty please'!  So he left for Berlin, the French Peas' warning fresh in his mind.  Germany was a wonderful country, home of the sauerkraut and potato pancakes.  But waffles, sadly, weren't on the menu.

So he fluttered to England, en route to Neverland, the land of carefree, flying children.  They greeted Patrick with glee and gave him many reasons to go.  But he decided to stay anyway, because Peter is awesome.  And Pan's peanut butter is not made anymore.  Only the residents of Neverland can enjoy that smooth, creamy, delicious taste of Peter Pan's peanut butter.

So with a plate of bread in one hand and a jar of peanut butter in the other, he screamed, "Give me a butter knife more fairy dust!"  And with that he disappeared.  A cloud of pixi stix and lollipops in his wake.  Then he looked up at the sky and said, "Where am I?"

An eerie voice replied, "You have entered the Twilight Zone."  Patrick screamed.  He didn't know that the Twilight Zone was real.  He only believed in fairies, carefree flying children, and The Outer Limits.  Everyone knows that They are in control.  Or so they think.  Alas, Patrick's now black and white.  He's stuck in a bad spot of pudding with no trace of pink snow to brighten the giant gray dollhouse.

The Twilight Zone was completely consuming everything he believed, and Patrick decided it was time to hightail it on out to someplace more colorful, like the other side of the fence that bordered the West, where a brilliant display of rainbows and lemon drops highlighted colors so bizarre as to dazzle and entrance the imagination.  It was the Candy Land Metropolis, which until now had been closed for re-sugaring.  But now it had opened again, and he fluttered gracefully into the field of green gummy grass.

Grasping a heaping handful of red jellybeans, which were his favorite kind, he alighted upon a magic mushroom and sat down to enjoy his cherry beans of dazzling, delicious delight.  Suddenly and quite gastronomically his friend appeared, chewing the scenery.  Patrick's friend's name was Bobette, and he was a fairy  princess as well as a steward of Broadway show tunes.

Bobette began singing as soon as he saw Patrick sitting and counting his jellybeans thoughtfully while contemplating the cosmos.  Bobette scratched the corner of his universe.  A warp hole materialized during a rousing rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".  Cumulus clouds obscured their view of The Battle of Waterloo, which seemed to be happening just outside their line of vision.

"Good gravy!" he said, pointing to the pair of ugly coconuts that hung from a pink and yellow pine tree.

"This isn't good gravy," Bobette said.  "It's coconut milk!  Hairy, old friend.  What have we gotten our boots in now?  You need to start looking for the rare pecan crusted kumquat that only exists in alternate realities on Thursday nights," he explained while checking his handy magical cell phone.  It was showing a text message from that Randy dude who used to wash his imaginary car.  He had liked Randy, but the dude was a little crazy and, frankly, a bit too indigo for his taste.

"Let's paint you pink and indigo," Randy texted.  Patrick sighed.  Bobette, weirded out, felt like he'd just seen several monkeys and they knew show tunes but couldn't sing a note in tune to save their pathetic little lives.

[Somewhere in there the magical cell phone switches from Bobette to Patrick.  That’s the only way that makes any sense. ;D]

Patrick, on the other hand, was now texting Randy back, saying, "Dude, no way!  If anything, we know an accomplished alto baritone who knows "Phantom of the Opera" which he can do standing on a white picket fence.  We can paint him."

Bobette looked over Patrick's left wing and said, “We can try, but I prefer neutral shades over berry-tones."

"Baritones!" Patrick enunciated.  "You know, I can play a mean birdhouse gourd, if I'm in Tijuana, putting small sheep on an express flight to Canada."  Bobette caught the faintest glint of gold in Patrick's pocket.

"Where did you get that?" he asked.  Patrick paused.

"Why do you want to know?"

"'Cause I could use some cash, you know, to pay off my dental bills.  Those blades of gummy grass hurt my upper molars last winter.”  Bobette opened his mouth so Patrick could fully appreciate the tiny construction-workers jackhammering cavities into oblivion.

"Aw, they're so cute!"

"Really?  I can't see them."

"That's because you're always singing!  Naturally, you wouldn't see them."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 30, 2008, 06:54:35 PM
"Does my singing frighten them?


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 31, 2008, 02:34:22 PM
Honey, your singing would scare


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 31, 2008, 06:24:49 PM
the dead from their graves!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on December 31, 2008, 08:09:57 PM
And shave the hair off


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on December 31, 2008, 08:25:12 PM
Randy's legs."  Patrick didn't mean


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: ericksonfamily on January 03, 2009, 02:15:48 PM
to sound quite so harsh,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on January 03, 2009, 09:14:53 PM
but the guy needed to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on January 03, 2009, 09:38:45 PM
develop a better sense of


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on January 03, 2009, 09:40:33 PM
Feng Shui.  Bobette smiled and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on January 03, 2009, 09:45:46 PM
spun around until she was


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on January 03, 2009, 10:00:39 PM
too dizzy to eat cupcakes.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on January 03, 2009, 10:37:13 PM
so instead she ate Randy's


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on January 04, 2009, 01:40:47 AM
Pepto chewables, which turned his


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on January 04, 2009, 02:06:55 AM
stubble, which surprisingly tasted like


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on January 04, 2009, 02:08:25 AM
black cherry. "Dude!" He said,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on January 04, 2009, 05:34:59 AM
"What's your problem?  Those were


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Dragonlady on January 04, 2009, 04:16:56 PM
for my pet skunk, Charley!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on January 04, 2009, 04:21:55 PM
Patrick/a shook her fist, "NO!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Wiggypop on January 11, 2009, 09:13:48 PM
I knew there was something


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on January 12, 2009, 02:22:52 AM
terribly wrong with that animal!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on January 12, 2009, 08:26:01 AM
And look at me! I'm


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on January 12, 2009, 02:52:16 PM
beginning to turn random colors!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on January 12, 2009, 03:47:28 PM
"Not again!" Bobette whined.  "Ugh!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Wiggypop on January 12, 2009, 08:52:50 PM
Bobette's eyes started to flare


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: wert on January 17, 2009, 12:06:38 PM
green, blue and magenta. "Help!


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on February 04, 2009, 10:59:27 AM
" Suddenly the colors started to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on February 04, 2009, 02:45:15 PM
seep into the Twilight Zone


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on February 04, 2009, 06:29:46 PM
where a mysterious quarter stood


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: bodwen on February 04, 2009, 08:45:30 PM
on its side in the


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on February 05, 2009, 07:34:17 PM
middle of the swamp from


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on February 08, 2009, 03:07:42 PM
the North.  "If I could


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: pierce67 on March 22, 2009, 07:31:09 PM
I would give it to


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on March 22, 2009, 08:32:53 PM
my cousin, Simon.  He's well


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on April 01, 2009, 11:54:39 AM
… different.  That's all I can


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on April 01, 2009, 03:34:49 PM
say without embarrassing both him


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on April 01, 2009, 03:46:10 PM
and Mr. Hollabackatcha.  He's very sensitive


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on April 02, 2009, 01:42:08 AM
about that sort of thing.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: pierce67 on April 02, 2009, 07:10:21 PM
Sometimes when I see him


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on April 03, 2009, 03:49:44 PM
I get all squidgy inside.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: pierce67 on April 03, 2009, 05:19:47 PM
I don't think he knows


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on April 04, 2009, 01:58:18 AM
that I'm allergic to wimps.

(;D)


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: judgehopkins on April 13, 2009, 03:12:00 PM
Although I am terribly attracted


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on April 13, 2009, 03:34:37 PM
to guys with pocket protectors.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on April 13, 2009, 04:47:48 PM
There's a level of panache


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on April 19, 2009, 09:47:07 PM
in those with pocket protectors,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on April 20, 2009, 03:29:58 AM
that is seldom seen today.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Renée on April 20, 2009, 08:46:22 PM
Probably because pocket protectors have


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on April 21, 2009, 01:49:56 AM
been formerly made of stuff


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Dragonlady on April 21, 2009, 03:02:57 PM
that would make women drool


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on April 21, 2009, 03:43:54 PM
"I'm not drooling," said Bobette.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on April 21, 2009, 04:16:24 PM
He grimaced at the thought.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: pierce67 on May 11, 2009, 06:50:43 AM
I guess those days are


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on May 11, 2009, 08:48:42 PM
long gone.

"Good riddance," Bobette


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: pilot27407 on May 13, 2009, 11:56:35 PM
screamed, wringing her dirty hand,



Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on May 14, 2009, 03:17:15 AM
"Don't you think you're overreacting?"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: pilot27407 on May 14, 2009, 01:03:39 PM
"NOT AT ALL. I ONLY...."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on May 14, 2009, 03:37:47 PM
SCREAM WHEN I'M COMPLETELY CALM!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on May 21, 2009, 05:11:51 AM
"or you're out of Prozac."


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: pilot27407 on May 21, 2009, 09:35:58 AM
"so, where is my Prozac?"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on May 21, 2009, 02:50:32 PM
"What Prozac?"

"IF YOU DON'T


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on May 22, 2009, 03:16:16 PM
SHUT UP I AM GOING


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on May 22, 2009, 05:44:09 PM
TO SERIOUSLY CONSIDER PUNCHING YOU!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Dragonlady on May 23, 2009, 08:11:15 PM
"Take your best shot coward!"


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on May 24, 2009, 03:22:37 AM
Bobette's face turned beet-red, and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: pilot27407 on May 24, 2009, 09:47:03 PM
her red lips went white


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on May 25, 2009, 03:36:22 PM
.  Patricia burst out in laughter,


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: violet on May 25, 2009, 04:22:25 PM
she knew she had just


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on May 25, 2009, 05:34:52 PM
made Bobette more angry, but


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on May 26, 2009, 03:03:25 AM
she decided a kiss would


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Amanda on May 26, 2009, 03:40:18 AM
probably not be the best


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Oxlahun on June 05, 2009, 09:13:12 AM
solution to the problem. When


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Sun Up on July 20, 2009, 12:09:56 PM
your breath is really foul.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on August 04, 2009, 10:53:28 PM
Are you sure you're not


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: JessiD. on January 31, 2010, 08:39:32 PM
starting. I hurried and


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: karaokecrush on March 11, 2010, 10:59:02 AM
ran into a brick wall.


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: laurabdiamond on March 11, 2010, 12:45:26 PM
Dazed, I forgot my veneer


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Falthor on July 26, 2015, 09:56:26 PM
was far to thin. I


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: paddler on September 04, 2015, 07:48:35 PM
felt the ichor drip into


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: McG on September 04, 2015, 08:33:50 PM
a massive vat of spiced


Title: Re: 5 Words Only
Post by: Falthor on September 04, 2015, 08:50:58 PM
Squirrel, with a lightly rosette