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Writing => Community Fiction => Topic started by: bodwen on June 29, 2010, 06:34:45 PM

Title: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: bodwen on June 29, 2010, 06:34:45 PM
Cast your vote and in a week I (or better yet someone else) will post an installment.
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: clutzattack on June 29, 2010, 06:43:23 PM
Other: Didn't have room enough to finish her garlic bread after eating two helpings of Olive Garden's endless pasta bowl.
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: bodwen on June 29, 2010, 07:02:51 PM
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: Kimmy on June 29, 2010, 07:17:20 PM
Add:  She's the last human on earth - and they all want her blood.
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: MaryL on June 29, 2010, 07:48:58 PM
Those cheap vacations are tough on a girl.
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: alisonbeightol on June 29, 2010, 08:00:02 PM
went with the olive garden option
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: Tabris on June 29, 2010, 08:08:15 PM
What if she booked a cheap internet vacation to Hades and ate at the Olive Garden there?
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: Aiala on June 29, 2010, 09:23:03 PM
She's read so many bloodsucker YA stories that her canine teeth fell out and she's lost 30 points off her IQ.     (http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/verkleidung/costumed-smiley-001.gif)

Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: katrinangel on June 30, 2010, 11:34:47 AM
Kimmy and Bodwen, fantastic ideas!  :clap:

I love the apocalyptic vampire tale. Last human on earth... What a great twist.  :rolf:
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: bodwen on July 07, 2010, 12:19:29 PM
Chapter One – Those Pesky Vampires

   My name is Ellie and as far as I know I’m the last girl on earth.The world was supposed to end in 2012, and I suppose in a way it did.  For everyone but me. 
          That’s not to say that everyone else is gone.  Far from it.  But on an otherwise ordinary December morning everyone just woke up different.  Most people became zombies, which I suppose wasn’t much of a stretch.  Fortunately they weren’t the brain eating, shoot in the head type  zombie, but rather ordinary zombies going about their daily routine in silence, but with parts falling off.  The boys from the football team were all werewolves, which was even less of a stretch, except during the full moon, when they ran around as wild animals howling and causing trouble, which wasn’t a stretch at all.
   At the current moment they are all in human form, wearing their letterman jackets and clustered in the front row waiting for Mrs. Klein to appear.  Mrs. Klein used to be a bespectacled and respectable schoolmarm type who insisted on assigned seating in her 11th grade English class, but that was before the Change.  Now that she looked just like Betti Page with horns we could sit where we wanted, which was fine with me because I wanted to sit in the back of the room, with the smattering of other girls, while the boys crowded in the front.  Most of the guys except for Dax, who I still had a huge crush on, despite the fact he was now a vampire and still a stuckup, conceited jackass.
   Behind me the door opened and all of the heads turned to watch Mrs. Klein enter.  She still wore the same ruffled polyester blouses and tweed skirts that she wore before the Change.  Only they looked a little different with her newfound curves and the tufted tail swaying back and forth as she walked to the chalkboard.
         “Good evening class.”
         “Good evening Mrs. Klein,” the boys called back.
         I should mention that all schools are now night schools, but that’s about the only difference.  After the Change there was a huge panic, of course.  But after a few minor adjustments everything settled back to more or less normal.  One thing this taught me about beauracracy is that it will take a lot more than the end of the world as people know it to get any real change to occur.
“I’ve graded your stories and I want to say I was very impressed.  Today I’d like for you to open your books to Robert Browning’s My Last Duchess, while I pass them back.”
      I’d already read that poem ten times and knew it by heart so I propped the book open in front of me and went back to my doodling.  I stole a quick glance over at Dax who was folding up a piece of paper into a throwing star.  He caught me looking and I glanced away.  A few seconds later the star landed on my desk.
I unfolded it and read the note.
YES               NO
    I glanced over at him and he smiled, displaying his pointy canines.
I circled my option three: WTF, and flicked it back to him. 
Dax opened it and chuckled silently as Mrs. Klein came by with our papers.  I looked at mine: C+.
   Dax’s waited until she passed before he slid into the seat behind mine.
   “Come to the dance with me.”
   I fingered my crucifix. “Why? So you can bite me?”
   “No. I just want to get to know you.”
   “Right.  You didn’t want to get to know me when you had a pulse.  But now that I’m the only game in town you’re suddenly interested?”
   “I’ve always liked you. I’m shy that’s all.”
   I laughed out loud and then covered my mouth, but  Mrs. Klein didn’t notice since she’d reached the football section.
   Dax tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear.  “Check out the new kid in the far corner away from the door.”
   I waited a moment or two just to be discreet and then glanced over.  The new kid was a guy with shaggy brown hair, and a sturdy barrel-chested frame. He had the book open in front of him but he seemed to be ignoring it.  He was wearing a plain tee-shirt and cargo pants.  But what was strange was that he wore thick round black-lensed glasses.
   I turned to Dax and whispered.  “Sunglasses?  Indoors at night?  That’s just weird.”
   “I wonder what he’s supposed to be?”  But then Dax tapped me again.  “Something going down up front.”
   I looked to the front of the room and saw Mrs. Klein leaning seductively over wide receiver Billy Canter’s desk.
   “Hi Billy, I really liked your story. I was up the whole day thinking about it.”
   Roger Harker, the square-jawed star quarterback, turned and stared daggers at them.
   Billy grinned and went red all the way to the roots of his blond crew cut.  “I was thinking about you when I wrote it.”
   “Yes, I can tell.  You know, I think with a little private tutoring, you might turn out to be a good little writer.”
   Roger Harker’s mouth dropped open.
   “Well maybe I could come over to your house and you can teach me a thing or two.”
   Mrs. Klein laughed seductively.  “Mr. Klein is a light sleeper, I think we might want to do our tutoring down by the lake.” As she got up she didn’t seem to notice as Billy and the guy behind him gave each other high fives. 
          But Roger did.  “You can’t tutor him!  You’re supposed to be tutoring me!”
          As Mrs. Klein walked back she stroked Roger’s cheek.  “Now don’t be selfish Roger.  After reading that story I think that Billy needs my help just as much as you do.”
          When the bell rang Roger gathered up his books and stormed right into the principal’s office.
          My family had taken to eating dinner right before dawn.  My father and my brother Charlie were vampires, just like Dax. My mother and my sister Emily were wraiths.  They don’t have to eat but they sit at the table anyway as a show of solidarity. They drifted to the table as trails of smoke before taking their more recognizable form as dark human shaped clouds.
   “So how was school today,” my mother asked.
   “A teacher got arrested, but I don’t know which one,” Charlie said.
   I opened my mouth but Emily beat me to it. “It was Mrs. Klein.”  She’s just turned 13 and was at that age where she prides herself on knowing everything.
   Charlie slammed down his cup so that synthetic blood sloshed over the side. “Not Mrs. Klein.”
   My mother shook her head. “This was bound to happen soon or later.  I don’t know who thinks it’s a good idea to let a succubus teach children.”
   Charlie buried his face in his hands. “We're not children, and she’s not a succubus, she’s an angel of mercy. And I was only one semester away from being in her homeroom.”
   “Charlie!” Mother said.
   Father smiled.  “Do they know what happened?”
   Cloud Emily shrugged.  “She was reported by a student for abusing her position to force him into an inappropriate relationship.”
   “Let me guess,” I said. “Roger Harker.”
   “How did you know?”
    “Stupid bastard,” Charlie said. “I hate him for this.”
   “Charlie,” my mother said. “This is no joking matter. That boy was coerced by a predator.”
   Charlie shook his head. “ Trust me, a boy my age doesn’t have to be coerced into that sort of thing.”
   “Your mother is right, Charlie,” Father said.  But he was giving Charlie a sly wink and the A-OK sign behind my mother’s back.
   Emily let out a ghostly sigh.  “Dad, You do know Mom’s eyes are purely for show and we can see everything in the room around us?”
   Father’s smile vanished and he lowered his hand.  “And when were you going to tell me this, Margaret?”
   “Just as soon as you stopped flirting with my friend Beatrice.”
   We finished dinner in uncomfortable silence.



Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: EvaBrick on July 07, 2010, 01:24:37 PM
Bodwen, this is actually pretty good. If you could churn the rest of the YA novel out in the next couple of weeks (I wouldn't put any more effort into it than that) you might actually make some money off it.

I love the funny bits. :up:
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: LeahClifford on July 07, 2010, 02:06:07 PM
Um, I know this was meant as a community fiction post, but you might want to take this off and run with it! It's pretty damn good!
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: Oxlahun on July 07, 2010, 04:28:11 PM
This is really good and i am not a vampire reader. Or an apocolypse reader. But still this is really good.
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: katrinangel on July 07, 2010, 07:17:57 PM
I agree, Bodwen!  Write it and sell it!

I really enjoyed reading your beginning.  :clap:
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: clutzattack on July 08, 2010, 07:47:08 AM
I circled my option three: WTF, and flicked it back to him. 

I think this is my favorite line.
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: lexcade on September 02, 2010, 07:47:55 AM
bodwen, i'd definitely keep reading this. i'm too amused to stop!
Title: Re: Those Pesky Vampires
Post by: Tigerbunny on January 28, 2012, 04:00:43 PM
I loved it.  :)