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Thanks Gobbo. In my synopsis research I frequently came across the advice that it should be single spaced (left justified and with breaks between paragraphs) only if it's one page. Two pages or more should be double spaced (with the first line of paragraphs indented and no breaks between paragraphs.)

I will heed your advice and strive for one page single spaced.

These days, most agents want the synopsis a page or less. It's single-spaced. Not double except between paragraphs. And they want it as succinct as possible.

Yes, a query gives some of the story, but a synopsis gives away everything. The query letter entices and the synopsis explains. Even if the query does some of the work, as far as background, a synopsis should explain everything . . . as far as the plot. So, yes, you'll restate as required for the plot and only the plot.

Good luck.

Here's another one I recently came across. Neat site. It holds about 30k words at a time. I particularly like the 'flow' feature, it listing the start of each sentence, graphs for them, and once you click on any sentence, you then can see all of your work, all the various sentence types in their own color.

https://www.slickwrite.com/#!home

Quite interesting for beginning writers. I prefer Grammarly.

Gobbo,

Thank you so much. I appreciate everything you said.




Sarah,

I understand where you're coming from.

A couple quick questions about the synopsis.

1) I have come across a bunch of agents who along with the query letter request a "short" or "brief" synopsis. Does anyone know what this means? My synopsis is 2 pages double spaced (about 630 words), but I have no idea if that is short enough.

2) If I'm sending a query letter and a synopsis at the same time do I have to re-explain things? For example my query letter has an explanation of the world they're in and the main race inhabiting that world (it's a fantasy novel). But since the agent will have just read the query (assuming they get past that point) do I need to restate the info about the world in the synopsis? I'm assuming yes, but I'd like other's thoughts on the matter. If I can take out repeat explanations, I might be able to get the synopsis down to one page single spaced.

Thanks

I rest my case.

I will never get a black belt in Judo it seems.

Yes, "Septacular" is supposed to be a play on "Spectacular"


No one ever notices fifteen-year-old James Rash behind his seven famous older siblings—The Septacular Septuplets—except their father.

When James almost kills the septuplets a day before their eighteenth birthday, their prejudiced grandfather decides his punishment is death. To make sure it hurts even worse, James’ father must be the one to kill him.

James flees to Rash City, the only place where magical and non-magical people coexist in harmony. There, he begins to uncover dark secrets. The most threatening being Jo King, who has finally perfected his weapon able to strip magical people of their powers. And he intends to strip the septuplets of theirs at their eighteenth birthday party.

Even worse, the septuplets sneak over to Rash City to bring James home—until they split up to explore the expansive metropolis, unaware of the danger closing in on them. Now, James must race against Jo King to hunt down the missing septuplets before they all end up losing their lives. Great.

[for]

Magic cannot be given. Only taken. And to for the famous Septacular (Spectacular?) Septuplets, that would be worse than death. (cliché)

Comment: This opening makes no sense when you read the query in total. If magic cannot be given, but only taken . . . who did the seven siblings and their father get their magic from? This opening indirectly creates a glaring plot hole.

HoweverBut, to for their younger (youngest - younger denotes two) brother, fifteen-year-old James Rash, it seems the only way for him to finally fit in with his family. Unfortunately, taking someone’s magic is illegal. (So . . . the siblings did it illegally?) The law states it is only to be done to the most severe criminals. (All kinds of moral issues with this sentence. It's the death penalty, can of worms, you probably don't want to open. It's also pretty heavy stuff for middle grade readers) Don’t rules suck? (Avoid questions in a query letter, rhetorical or otherwise. Remember, this is a professional business letter. Be cute at your own peril)

Looks like James will just have to continue to endure his seven siblings’ constant bullying. Thankfully, their father, Jamison, (Comment: Be careful here. Having a two characters with similar names can be confusing and distracting to readers) is the only one that still loves James—or so he thought. When James accidentally almost kills the septuplets two days before their eighteenth birthday, their father decides to kill him as punishment. (Um . . . excuse me? That's one hell of a punishment. It's also pretty heavy stuff for MG) James flees for his life to the expansive and tolerant Rash City. A place where anyone can fit in and not be judged for whatever makes them different. It also happens to be the only place in the world where magical and non-magical people live together in peace. James is soon captured and taken to Jo King, a broken yet cheerful man, who has invented a weapon able to do the impossible: Strip magical people of their powers.

Jo King tells James of how he intends to strip the septuplets of their powers on their eighteenth birthday. Exactly seventeen years from when Jamison caused Jo King to have his magic and everything he loved stripped from him. (Wait. What? I don't understand this. And it just so happens that this is also the moment James decides to flee and meets the king? That's way too coincidental for me. So the king's a hardcore criminal then? How is he still king? Wouldn't it make more sense for him to have stripped some sap of their powers? Heck, why wait for James? Why not just go there and do it himself? I'm having all kinds of issues with this reasoning) All due to Jamison wrongfully accusing Jo King of attempted murder on the septuplets and the actual murder of their grandmother. (And this is where your query goes splat. This is way too revealing and too coincidental to believe. And on top of that? The king is mad at the man who accused him of murder. The same man seemingly willing to murder his own child. All kinds of issues there.) James narrowly escapes, but before he can warn the septuplets—they come to Rash City only to end up separated and lost. (Um . . . how? They had magic enough to find James, but not enough to stick together? Sounds a little too 'the plot requires it' to me) Now, James must race against Jo King to find the missing septuplets in Rash City before they all end up losing their lives. (Again, having real issues with this scenario)

JAMES RASH AND THE SEPTACULAR (Is this even a word or some attempt at wordplay?) SEPTUPLETS is a MG fantasy novel complete at 74,000 words and available upon request.

A lot of glaring issues that need to be addressed. Again, I recommend you step back and give yourself more time before you post another query. Way too many missteps you should've caught with some basic editing and proofreading.

My apologies if this came off harsh. In full editing mode with someone else's work. Blue pen of death is on a rampage tonight.

Edit: After rereading this aloud, I see Jo isn't a king at all. My bad. Very confusing nonetheless.

Omg Falthor I just realized I know what you're talking about 

Okay. I tried for shorter sentences this time. It's really hard for me haha


Dear Agent,

Magic cannot be given. Only taken. And to the famous Septacular Septuplets, that would be worse than death.

However, to their younger brother, fifteen-year-old James Rash, it seems the only way for him to finally fit in with his family. Unfortunately, taking someone’s magic is illegal. The law states it is only to be done to the most severe criminals. Don’t rules suck?

Looks like James will just have to continue to endure his seven siblings’ constant bullying. Thankfully, their father, Jamison, is the only one that still loves James—or so he thought. When James accidentally almost kills the septuplets two days before their eighteenth birthday, their father decides to kill him as punishment. James flees for his life to the expansive and tolerant Rash City. A place where anyone can fit in and not be judged for whatever makes them different. It also happens to be the only place in the world where magical and non-magical people live together in peace. James is soon captured and taken to Jo King, a broken yet cheerful man, who has invented a weapon able to do the impossible: Strip magical people of their powers.

Jo King tells James of how he intends to strip the septuplets of their powers on their eighteenth birthday. Exactly seventeen years from when Jamison caused Jo King to have his magic and everything he loved stripped from him. All due to Jamison wrongfully accusing Jo King of attempted murder on the septuplets and the actual murder of their grandmother. James narrowly escapes, but before he can warn the septuplets—they come to Rash City only to end up separated and lost. Now, James must race against Jo King to find the missing septuplets in Rash City before they all end up losing their lives.

JAMES RASH AND THE SEPTACULAR SEPTUPLETS is a MG fantasy novel complete at 74,000 words and available upon request.