A fake query to be sent to real agent

[sarahjen]

Okay, we want your best,      queries.
Post one on this thread that you would really like me to send to an agent, with the agent's name and we'll all vote on which one to send.
I want to send out Audal's. Non Fiction Query.
Dear Agent,

I am seeking representation for my completed non-fiction book titled Who Needs 'Em: 12 Easy Steps Toward Getting Your Novel Published Without A Literary Agent.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best,
Audal

So if you'll let me Audal--please say.

So post here. I've already established an email address to do this. I'll post all replies. If we do, by some freak of nature get a request, everyone has to help come up with something to send the agent. (I know, like it will happen, but it would serve us all right, so I'm thinking ahead.)

[sarahjen]

Oh yeah. No really bad language, and no mention of QT in the query. We don't want to  ourselves and QT in the foot.

[MarvaD]

That's just evil.    Agents already hate us enough without poking sticks at them through the bars.

[sarahjen]

It's not meant to mean at all. I thought it would be good to give them a laugh. How could you not laugh at a stupid, funny query.
Okay, just funny queries.
Seriously, I would laugh as an assistant if I read some of the queries that show up on the Worst Query Letters! Wait, I do laugh, that's why I read it.

[MarvaD]

Oh, I meant evil in a fun way.  Still, I'd be careful who you might send it to.  They can track you down through IP addresses, you know.  All they'd have to do is ask Homeland Security since we're all being tracked anyway.

[LeahClifford]

Oh yeah. No really bad language, and no mention of QT in the query. We don't want to  ourselves and QT in the foot.

Um...you DO know they can read this thread right?

[MarvaD]

Oh yeah. No really bad language, and no mention of QT in the query. We don't want to  ourselves and QT in the foot.

Um...you DO know they can read this thread right?

LOL!  Outed!

[jacinda]

Oh yeah. No really bad language, and no mention of QT in the query. We don't want to  ourselves and QT in the foot.

Um...you DO know they can read this thread right?

LOL!  Outed!

ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap!

[Kelly]

I wondered how many agents read this.....

[Suzy_Q]

I wondered how many agents read this.....

Not enough, Kelly, if any at all.  LOL  I love audal's letter!  I think we should send it to Nathan Bransford, but maybe let him know before-hand that it is not a serious query.  Something like,

"Your blog has really helped me out, so I thought I'd send this your way to make you laugh..."

[sarahjen]

Love that idea Suzy. I'll do that. If it's okay with you Audal.

[Wiggypop]

Bransford totally has the personality for it, too.

[LeahClifford]

It's funny, because he was the only one that popped into my head when I read your plan...    I'd put the disclaimer at the END though for sure!!!!!

[Kelly]

Yes, put the disclaimer at the end!!

[jacinda]

hehehehe I love Nathan Bransford.  He seems to have the  kind of personality that would appreciate something like that.