Author Topic: Chap 1 vs Chap 1 ....MG Fantasy Crit  (Read 1915 times)

Offline WriterJen

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Chap 1 vs Chap 1 ....MG Fantasy Crit
« on: October 11, 2012, 08:12:37 AM »
I am looking for someone who would be willing to critique my first chapter for my MG Fantasy.

I have the original version....

And then I have a version in which I applied some of the feedback I received.

Problem, is my revised should be better, but my gut is telling me that it no longer reads like a kids novel?

Is anyone willing to read both and give me feedback? I'm happy to return the favor!!
WriterJen

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Offline DrCarter2001

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Re: Chap 1 vs Chap 1 ....MG Fantasy Crit
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2012, 12:24:47 PM »
Hi Jen, I'd be happy to take a look in exchange; I have my board re-certification exam in a week though so it would have to wait until after that (whatever free time I have is mostly going to studying).

Offline WriterJen

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Re: Chap 1 vs Chap 1 ....MG Fantasy Crit
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2012, 02:46:15 PM »
Thank you for the offer! I had a deadline I was working on, so I haven't been able to revisit here.

On that note, my MG Fantasy was accepted by a publisher, but I have to do some minor tweaks- I am looking for a reader or someone to swap crits with on the entire MS before I resubmit back to publisher. if interested  ;D

Again, thanks for offering~ you were the only one that did here!!  :koolaid:
WriterJen

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Offline lwoods

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Re: Chap 1 vs Chap 1 ....MG Fantasy Crit
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2012, 11:23:14 PM »
Hi there!

I would be happy to help you out. I'm new here, as of today, but i can help you out if you haven' t found anyone yet:)
Let me know.

Lisa