Author Topic: Dear Agent: This book will make YOU famous  (Read 4639 times)

Offline slightlysmall

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Dear Agent: This book will make YOU famous
« on: September 11, 2013, 11:31:59 AM »
So you probably want to know why you get to be famous and not just me. (But I'll be famous, too. Don't worry about that.)

Well....

.....

.....

(are you anxious yet? Are you ready to find out??)

.....

.....

SURPRISE!

It's because this book is about YOU! See, I've spent the past five years of my life stalking you. and not just the Internet kind, either. Remember that bad date you had three Tuesdays ago? My book has already been updated to include it. The fight with your mother in front of Bloomingdale's? You can read all about it in chapter four.

I know you worry about authors who don't do their research for this kind of thing. But don't worry. I definitely did mine. You will find the crazy ex-boyfriend of yours from third grade, anecdotes of the time you peed your pants in high school when you had to give a presentation, and your own sad journey as a failed author that led you to being an agent today.

Like they say: those who can, do. Those who can't become agents for those who can.

Lucky for you, my own book - written in verse for the first half, and then switching to the avant-garde and a la mode (I know French! Isn't that awesome?!) second person - will make you famous in a way your own mediocre words could have never managed.

Hope you enjoy! If you turn it down, just so you know, I plan to send it to agent Y, whom I know from my research is your least favorite agent in the business. I bet you they can find a market for this book if you can't. But no pressure. :wink:

Lots of love,
Firstname Lastname

P.S. That's a pen name. I know better than to let you know who I really am.
P.P.S. Oh, look! You're checking emails on your phone right now. Guess I better press send.

Offline Tabris

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Re: Dear Agent: This book will make YOU famous
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2013, 11:39:37 AM »
 :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :crazy: er, I mean,  :clap: :clap: :clap:

Silence18

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Re: Dear Agent: This book will make YOU famous
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2013, 07:32:17 PM »
Lol, nice!  ;D

Offline urschel

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Re: Dear Agent: This book will make YOU famous
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2013, 09:36:33 AM »
Diggin' it. I think I know which agent you're sending this to.

Offline oldbag

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Re: Dear Agent: This book will make YOU famous
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2013, 11:21:40 AM »
Love this!

(You gotta publish it somewhere)

Regards & K,
-oldbag
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Offline KimE

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Re: Dear Agent: This book will make YOU famous
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2013, 11:36:13 AM »
Awesome :up:
I am burdened with glorious purpose.

Offline miakim7

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Re: Dear Agent: This book will make YOU famous
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2013, 02:50:52 AM »
For a moment there, I thought the email was addressed to me and panicked.