Author Topic: Most Innovative Book Ever!  (Read 12405 times)

Offline Diowe

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Most Innovative Book Ever!
« on: August 03, 2007, 08:51:57 AM »
Candy Land
P.O. Box 2
New York, NY

Dear Mr.or Mrs. Land:
(I couldn’t tell from the picture on your website what sex you are. So I’ve addressed it like this because I didn’t want to offend you.)

I could tell by the way you decorated your web site that I’d finally found an agent who would “get” my book. (And that’s a BIG compliment because 227 others haven’t been sophisticated enough to understand and that’s just SO FAR!)

I have to go soon (I’m hard boiling eggs and I’m pretty sure they’re almost done) so I’ll get right to it. My book is a ground-breaking new approach. You see, it’s called “Blue” and that’s all it’s about (only that’s not REALLY the color. I’ve changed that for my protection because this approach is so innovative I have to be very careful that no one steals it from me. Not that I think you would. But how can I know who all will see this letter?) Anyway, this is how I wrote the book. I laid on my bed and thought about nothing except blue (only remember that’s not really the color - wink, wink) and then I wrote down the first 27 words that came into my mind. Very stream-of-conscience. Cool, huh? But there’s more! Halfway through I switched it up and thought about a DIFFERENT color! Only I never said that so the reader won’t even know until the very end and isn’t that a cool twist??! I am so excited about this I haven’t been able to think about anything else for the past three weeks! Seriously!

Since the book only has 27 words I’m sure you understand why I can’t share it with you through the mail. Every word is like a pearl in a very lovely pearl necklace and the idea is so innovative. Someone’s bound to steal it before you get a chance to sell it, right? So just to be safe for the BOTH of us, I’ll bring it with me when we meet and show it to you AS SOON AS we sign the contract or whatever we need to do before you can pay me for this book. This is really a busy time of year for me because both kids are in different soccer leagues and the fat one has got tuba lessons like three times a week! But I can come to New York five days from now at 2:30 (I’ve already converted that to New York time; don’t worry - LOL) The closest airport to me is the Quad City one so make this the departure town when you get the plane tickets.

I can’t wait to see you. We are going have SO MUCH FUN with this innovative book!

Yours sincerely,

Lotta Gutts

Offline Patrick

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2007, 11:11:56 AM »
That's hilarious.   I would love to send this off to agents for real, just to get their reactions.

 :rof3:
 :rolf:
 :rof2:

Tons of karma coming for you.

Offline audal

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2007, 11:32:05 AM »
I myself have been thinking about querying Mr./Ms. Land, but since she'll clearly now be devoting 110& of her energy toward Lotta's career, what's the point?
Quillkeepers' Tavern Management: Slingin' Cocktails & Wisecracks Since Mid-August.

Offline Cole Gibsen

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2007, 04:00:27 PM »
 :'( Why are all the good plots always taken?
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face,and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may no spiders fall on your head.

website: www.colegibsen.com
blog: www.colegibsen.blogspot.com

Offline justwrite

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #4 on: August 03, 2007, 08:23:33 PM »
I totally dare one of you to make up a fake hotmail account and send it out. (not me—I'm a chicken).

Offline Diowe

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #5 on: August 03, 2007, 09:08:55 PM »
 :eek: Someone will snatch it up, justwrite, and we'll all have to commit suicide!

Offline justwrite

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #6 on: August 03, 2007, 09:32:20 PM »
The dare is still on.  >:D

Offline Patrick

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2007, 10:05:45 PM »
What happens if you send it off and they want to read it?  Because you just know it'll happen.

Offline justwrite

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #8 on: August 03, 2007, 10:57:14 PM »
You say it's too late. Another agent already wanted it.  :wag:

Offline Diowe

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #9 on: August 03, 2007, 11:31:25 PM »
Or Lotta could tell them she opted to self-publish... or that her daddy's bought a publishing company for her.... or that PublishAmerica has already offered her an advance she can't refuse (I'm pretty sure it's a buck, but they'd probably give Lotta $1.25)

Offline Chelc

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2007, 10:57:05 AM »
I totally dare one of you to make up a fake hotmail account and send it out. (not me—I'm a chicken).
I'd totally do it :wink: :wink: :wink:

Offline Miss Java

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2007, 02:19:05 PM »
Considering it is only 27 words, I'm sure we could whip up the manuscript right here on the forum.  I'd add my first suggestion, except I don't know what the REAL color is!




Offline justwrite

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2007, 06:03:13 PM »
Hey, welcome back Miss J!  :)

Offline Miss Java

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2007, 08:49:50 PM »
I've been good and have been WRITING actually.  (Novel concept, eh?)


Anyhow, you can always tell I hit a stumbling block when I start posting on message boards again.  (sigh)  So seeing me isn't always the best sigh.   ;D



Offline justwrite

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Re: Most Innovative Book Ever!
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2007, 09:23:55 PM »
 :java:

Sorry. Well it's still good to see you! I'm changing my ms (in anticipation of my fourth partial rejection) to first person past tense, so it's boring, boring, boring. Coming on here keeps me from falling asleep on my keyboard. :up: