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Author Topic: Twitter Pitch for Half-Breeds and Other Liabilities  (Read 4480 times)
Pandean
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« on: December 11, 2013, 07:36:36 AM »

So, since I'm thinking about *maybe* doing a twitter pitching thing, I decided to try to make a twitter pitch.


My problem is that I have a MS about demons, so I need to try to make it sound unique, while making the plot true, all in under 140 characters.


This is what I have so far.

  Threatened with his sacrifice, 17yo Mihael must find a way to stop his dad, the vilest demon in Hell, from ending the world. YAUF #Pitchmas

(The only way I can fit it all is if I combine YA and UF (for Urban Fantasy) together...)

But if I'm doing the tag #Pitmad, it's not a problem.

Any help?
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Sarah Ahiers (Falen)
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« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2013, 07:53:13 AM »

I think it looks good!

But also, i'm notoriously not good at loglines so i could be way wrong.

And, FWIW, one of my friends got a full and then an offer from a twitter pitch contest last year
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Pandean
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« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2013, 07:54:29 AM »

I think it looks good!

But also, i'm notoriously not good at loglines so i could be way wrong.

And, FWIW, one of my friends got a full and then an offer from a twitter pitch contest last year

Thanks. And neither am I. xD

What's FWIW mean? But that's cool!

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SamIAm
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« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2013, 08:06:56 AM »

So, since I'm thinking about *maybe* doing a twitter pitching thing, I decided to try to make a twitter pitch.


My problem is that I have a MS about demons, so I need to try to make it sound unique, while making the plot true, all in under 140 characters.


This is what I have so far.

  Threatened with his sacrifice, 17yo Mihael must find a way to stop his dad, the vilest demon in Hell, from ending the world. YAUF #Pitchmas

(The only way I can fit it all is if I combine YA and UF (for Urban Fantasy) together...)

But if I'm doing the tag #Pitmad, it's not a problem.

Any help?

My only thing is the "Threatened with his sacrifice" bit.  I feel like it needs to say his "own" sacrifice or something.  Reading it, it sounds like a sacrifice he's going to make, but maybe that's just me?

I have no idea if this fits, but maybe something like this?

With his own sacrifice looming, 17yo Mihael must find a way to stop his dad-Hell's head honcho-from ending the world. YA/UF #pitchmas

But these are also not my strong suit (I have NO idea how to turn CF into 35 words), so I'll understand if you disregard the above completely.
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Pandean
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« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2013, 08:14:00 AM »

I like that, Spike. I was actually going to try something like that, but I couldn't make it fit. xD


How about this?

With his own sacrifice looming, 17yo Mihael must find a way to stop his dad—Hell's head demon—from ending the world. YA/UF #pitchmas
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SamIAm
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« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2013, 08:16:53 AM »

 Thumbs Up

I like it!  And I think it makes your book stand out from other "demon" books.  Good luck with Pitchmas!  I think I'm going to pass on that one, because I'm just starting another round of revisions and am really excited to hear what my mentor has to say after that.
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Pandean
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« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2013, 08:28:10 AM »

Thumbs Up

I like it!  And I think it makes your book stand out from other "demon" books.  Good luck with Pitchmas!  I think I'm going to pass on that one, because I'm just starting another round of revisions and am really excited to hear what my mentor has to say after that.

I think I'm actually going to do #Pitmad instead, because the agents in #Pitchmas don't really seem interested in my genres.

And thanks! Smiley

And #Pitmad is farther away so it gives me time to edit a little more.

AND I'VE DECIDED TO QUERY HALF-BREEDS AND OTHER LIABILITIES AFTER #PITMAD.
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« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2013, 10:46:29 AM »

What's FWIW mean?

"For what it's worth"
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« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2013, 01:19:23 PM »

I like that, Spike. I was actually going to try something like that, but I couldn't make it fit. xD


How about this?

With his own sacrifice looming, 17yo Mihael must find a way to stop his dad—Hell's head demon—from ending the world. YA/UF #pitchmas

this sounds great! Good luck!!
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Pandean
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« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2013, 03:51:57 PM »

Thanks!
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Pandean
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« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2013, 07:09:27 PM »

I made a new one with help on Twitter.

Mihael was born to die as a sacrifice that kick-starts Armageddon. But to save his life, he’ll have to save the world. YA UF #pitmad
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SamIAm
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« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2013, 05:36:55 AM »

I made a new one with help on Twitter.

Mihael was born to die as a sacrifice that kick-starts Armageddon. But to save his life, he’ll have to save the world. YA UF #pitmad

I like it!  Sounds good!   Grin
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Sarah Ahiers (Falen)
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« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2013, 08:13:13 AM »

ooh i like that one a lot!
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« Reply #13 on: December 16, 2013, 12:42:34 AM »

I'm doing this too and I searched everywhere on their website and in their rules and never saw that you had to include YAUF only #pitchmas in the tweet. If that's true, you have a few extra spaces to work with.

Mihael was born to die as a sacrifice that kick-starts Armageddon. But to save his life, he’ll have to save the world. YA UF #pitmad

I like this, but what if you rearranged it a bit to become:

Born to die, Mihael's sacrifice will kick-start Armageddon. But....

Good luck :D
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Pandean
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« Reply #14 on: December 16, 2013, 07:42:54 AM »

Yeah, you have to include your genre/category. I'm pretty sure.
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