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Author Topic: the first query I EVER wrote...  (Read 19718 times)
Falthor
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« on: January 23, 2014, 02:59:58 PM »

I still don't know what i was thinking when i wrote this...   call it my background in sales making me want to sell myself over the book, who knows...   BTW I got 2 full requests, and several partials from this, so as bad as it is, I hooked people on the sheer novelty...

  Thank you for the opportunity to query you about a submission.  My name is Jason Temple, and I have been a writer, on and off since grade 10.  My background and education is actually in computer sciences (something else I found out early on I have a flare for) but I continued to study English as a Minor throughout my University education.  I have always known that when I finally had some time, or something burning in me, that I would have a book written and published.

  In the past I have had 2 pieces of work published in a creative writing text that was used in the Windsor/Essex region schools to help teach.  One was a Poem and the other was a short story.  Both were entered into the same writing contest.

  My book is currently titled simply “Tangled”, as it sits now is approx 55000 words; it is a Romance/Fiction novel.

  I have never considered myself a romance writer, and truly never felt that would be what I would write, however this story took a hold of me and gave me no choice in the matter.  From the day after I had the dream that started this whole thing I have been writing on a daily basis, editing, changing, but mostly ploughing through this book.

  My book revolves around 3 good friends, Steve, Kate, and Amaya, who are all in their late teens and still in high school.  These three have always been good friends, but discover that they all have feelings for one another at a party being thrown by Kate.  The entire book happens either at this party or in flashbacks to the past.  There is also a side story meshed in here as well, of Kevin and Ashley, which is one of revenge.

  The story is mostly told through one on one interaction between the characters and focuses mostly on their emotional states through the discovery.  I use a very spare descriptive style, leaving it to the reader to fill in a lot of the “details” and only supplying the truly necessary, something akin to Chuck Palahniuk.

  My target audience are young adults and older teens, in fact the same target audience that reads or watches, Gossip Girl and or Degrassi Junior High.  I see this book as a gateway into more stories about these and other characters, almost a sweet valley high for our generation, but more mature and real.  I don’t shy away from things that kids in this generation have experienced; underage drinking, smoking, gender confusion.  In fact these things will likely make up the basis of most of what I have to write with these characters.


I look forward to hearing back from you.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2014, 04:55:27 PM by Falthor » Logged

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MookyMcD
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« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2014, 05:48:46 PM »

That has to be one of the bravest things I've ever seen a person do.  clap
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Falthor
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Picture of Me and one of the Twins (Chloe)


« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2014, 05:57:21 PM »

I own my mistakes...   I wrote that query with the most basic idea of what a query was...
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DannieMOlguin
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« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2014, 08:03:08 AM »

Mooky's right. That was incredibly brave!
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KimE
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« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2014, 08:30:22 AM »

Extra karma!
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Sarah Ahiers (Falen)
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« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2014, 09:20:19 AM »

That's exactly what i thought i query was like too, until i started doing some research. Which, thankfully, i did before i reached a querying stage for anything.

But still! Requests off that is awesome!
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Falthor
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Picture of Me and one of the Twins (Chloe)


« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2014, 11:09:16 AM »

unfortunately it was the first draft of my novel with no editing...  I think I might have been able to swing something off the 3rd or 4th edit possibly, but the first edit was long winded and drab in places that it shouldn't have been.

  I did my research but obviously missed the point completely.  I think this went out to about 30 or 40 agents, the final count was 2 fulls, and 15 partials...  not too bad of a haul of what is such a horrible query.  Then I found this place and went into editing mode.  I've toed the query waters once or twice since then but nothing really came of it, and I want my book to be ready before I query again.
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iBel29
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« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2014, 07:29:19 AM »

Wow. Seriously that's not even bad if you got some partials from it. Seriously amazing, lol. That was brave. And I honestly started that way also.
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DreamWriter
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« Reply #8 on: November 04, 2014, 10:13:20 PM »

unfortunately it was the first draft of my novel with no editing...  I think I might have been able to swing something off the 3rd or 4th edit possibly, but the first edit was long winded and drab in places that it shouldn't have been.

  I did my research but obviously missed the point completely.  I think this went out to about 30 or 40 agents, the final count was 2 fulls, and 15 partials...  not too bad of a haul of what is such a horrible query.  Then I found this place and went into editing mode.  I've toed the query waters once or twice since then but nothing really came of it, and I want my book to be ready before I query again.

Wow, and you got requests! Shoot, I'd still be proud of that.  Grin
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Falthor
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Picture of Me and one of the Twins (Chloe)


« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2014, 07:41:19 AM »

:-)

my query is so much stronger now, as is my book...  I'm itching to finish but I'm not there yet.
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DreamWriter
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« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2014, 08:10:35 PM »

That's so awesome, Falthor. Karma just for coolness!  Grin
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DAEMONS: Web of Awakening / 110k / Contemporary Fantasy
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« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2014, 10:48:57 PM »

You're a brave man, Falthor.
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PinkyHasABrain
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« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2014, 09:23:48 PM »

If you go off of the results then you can't call this query completely bad. I sent one out for a children's book when i was around 19 or 20... I didn't even know the word "query" or "literary agent". I got the address from teh back of a children's book at the school I worked at and sent them the complete book and a letter, lol! I still have their reply ( I am 30 now). It was prob the most helpful response that i have ever gotten, lol.

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James T Wood
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« Reply #13 on: June 03, 2015, 04:01:48 PM »

I'm scared of even looking at my first query. I think it's best that it remain hidden until I'm long dead (and a wildly famous author).

Many kudos for sharing your learning-opportunity.
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« Reply #14 on: June 03, 2015, 06:01:41 PM »

Wait...what's wrong with it?!   Just kidding.   wag

Extra karma to you, Falthor, for sharing!
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