Author Topic: CP for YA Fantasy  (Read 1331 times)

Offline fancypants

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 40
  • Karma: 5
  • Follow me on Twitter! :D @fancymaansi
CP for YA Fantasy
« on: February 17, 2014, 05:12:53 PM »
Hello!! So I've had this manuscript critiqued before, but I thought the more eyes take a look at it the better :D

Its about 72,000 words. I'd be happy to critique your work as well!
Here's the premise/query letter that garnered requests for revision:

Abolition Day has arrived again, the day when any of Cor’s citizens arrested for opposing the regime are publicly executed in a special ‘cleansing’ ceremony. 16 year old Ven is an aristocrat. He lives in a palace, goes to fancy parties and his buttons are made of pure gold. To him, Abolition Day is nothing more than a rather unpleasant holiday that comes and goes. All of that changes when his best friend makes the execution list.

In order to save her life, Ven teams up with a mysterious criminal possessing a strange power who warns him that Cor’s past is more dangerous than he realizes. The criminal offers him a deal; steal something for him, and he’ll help save his friend from execution. With no other choice but to break the law or watch his best friend hang, Ven makes the deal. The decision sends him beyond Cor’s gates and to foreign territory where he discovers the truth behind the criminal's warning. Someone - or something - wants revenge on the place Ven calls home, and won't rest till Cor and all it's citizens have been reduced to ashes.

Thank you!