Author Topic: First Chapter YA High Fantasy Swap  (Read 9997 times)

Offline tiffanielynn

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First Chapter YA High Fantasy Swap
« on: March 04, 2015, 08:56:23 PM »
Anyone interested in swapping first chapters? I recently went back into the query trenches with a new first chapter and my request rate hasn't been as good. I'm not sure if I'm just not querying the right people or if there's something wrong. I'll post my query below:

Killing never comes easy, but for eighteen-year-old Martia, exterminating those who fall in love is an uncomfortable reality of being a Deathwalker.

In the kingdom of Mithos, true love is the most dangerous form of black magic, giving the wielder the power to burn through skin and bone. Those who fall prey to it must be eliminated. Born with the ability to identify those overtaken by true love, Martia was raised in isolation and trained to be a killer. She’s feared for what she is and the death she brings.
 
When war breaks out on the border and the rival nation attempts to assassinate Crown Prince Narin, Martia’s enlisted to guard him. Their eyes meet, and her world freezes at first sight—the initial symptom of true love. She tries to fight the magic’s intoxicating spell, but Narin insists they can overcome it. His gentle encouragement makes her dream of a life where she’s more than a brutal executioner. When the other Deathwalkers discover her secret, Martia must make a decision: plunge her sword into Narin’s heart, or choose Narin and become one of the hunted.

In THE SINNER ROSE, my 93,000-word young adult high fantasy, Kristin Cashore’s Graceling meets the forbidden love of Lauren Oliver’s Delirium. My novel re-imagines fairy tale true love as a curse instead of a blessing, and is set in a diverse world influenced by India, Spain and the Middle East.

Twitter: @LynnTiffanie

Offline AlythiaB

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Re: First Chapter YA High Fantasy Swap
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2015, 10:13:50 PM »
Hey there! Your premise sounds awesome! Have you posted it on QT before? I feel like I've read it. How long is your first chapter? PM me if you'd like! But you can also post the 1st chapter here on the forum for multiple crits.
Represented by Moe Ferrara, BookEnds, LLC
www.alyconner.com

Offline tiffanielynn

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Re: First Chapter YA High Fantasy Swap
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2015, 05:08:42 PM »
Hey there! Your premise sounds awesome! Have you posted it on QT before? I feel like I've read it. How long is your first chapter? PM me if you'd like! But you can also post the 1st chapter here on the forum for multiple crits.

Sent you a PM!
Twitter: @LynnTiffanie

Offline AlythiaB

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Re: First Chapter YA High Fantasy Swap
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2015, 06:44:11 PM »
Hey there! Your premise sounds awesome! Have you posted it on QT before? I feel like I've read it. How long is your first chapter? PM me if you'd like! But you can also post the 1st chapter here on the forum for multiple crits.

Sent you a PM!

Got it! :)
Represented by Moe Ferrara, BookEnds, LLC
www.alyconner.com