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Author Topic: Synopsis review. "The Little Snowflake" Early Reader  (Read 2372 times)
Loretta
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« on: May 16, 2015, 07:25:15 AM »

Please be honest could really use some critique. Thanks



Little Snowflake Synopsis

As the citizens of Nimbus made their final preparations for the Annual Winter Voyage, Little Snowflake's crystal heart filled with anticipation and excitement. Ever since she was  a little dewdrop, Snowflake had dreamed of this day; her first trip to the farmland below. Little Snowflake would need to find the courage, and determination within herself when the journey turns out to be  nothing like she had imagined. 
When an unforeseen event separates Little Snowflake from her family, she lands in the branches of the overseer of Bell Berry Farms; the majestic Mr. Pine. After calming Little Snowflake's fears, Mr. Pine enlists the help of the smart and sassy Mrs. Wren, and the overly nervous and quirky Mr. Mouse.
Little Snowflake faces many obstacles along the way: a near “melt down” on the water tower,  a close encounter with the old barn cat, Elsa, and the human twins, Bree and Bryce, who unwittingly save the day while building a snowman.
After being reunited with her family, Little Snowflake realizes that it is not the journey itself, but rather the friends you meet along the way that creates an adventure of a lifetime.
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MichelleG
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« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2015, 01:32:33 PM »

TOO FREAKING CUTE!

For me the order is a little messed up.

Little Snowflake would need to find the courage, and determination within herself when the journey turns out to be  nothing like she had imagined. 
When an unforeseen event separates Little Snowflake from her family, she lands in the branches of the overseer of Bell Berry Farms; the majestic Mr. Pine.



I think you need to say what the event is - the separation - before you tell the reader about needing to find her courage and determination.
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"You look at these scattered houses, and you are impressed by their beauty. I look at them, and the only thought which comes to me is a feeling of isolation and the impunity with which crime may be committed there." - Sherlock Homes, The Copper Beeches - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Loretta
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« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2015, 05:49:17 AM »

Thanks.  Smiley
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Ms. Bobbie A.
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« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2015, 12:49:35 AM »

Little Snowflake Synopsis

I think this is adorable and very visual--I'm picturing the illustrations.

As the citizens of Nimbus made MAKE their final preparations for the Annual Winter Voyage, Little Snowflake's crystal heart filled FILLS with anticipation and excitement. Ever since she was  a little dewdrop, Snowflake had HAS dreamed of this day; her first trip to the farmland below. Little Snowflake would WILL need to find the courage, and determination within herself when the journey turns out to be nothing like she had imagined. I WOULD MOVE THIS BOLD TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH.
 
When an unforeseen event separates Little Snowflake from her family, SHE WILL NEED TO FIND THE COURAGE AND DETERMINATION ... ETC.  FIRST she lands in the branches of the overseer of Bell Berry Farms; the majestic Mr. Pine. After calming Little Snowflake's fears, Mr. Pine enlists the help of the smart and sassy Mrs. Wren, and the overly nervous and quirky Mr. Mouse. THEN SHE Little Snowflake faces many obstacles along the way: a HAS A near “melt down” on the water tower,  FOLLOWED BY a close encounter with the old barn cat, Elsa, and the human twins, Bree and Bryce, who unwittingly save the day while building a snowman.

After being reunited with her family, Little Snowflake realizes that it is not the journey itself, but rather the friends you meet along the way that creates an adventure of a lifetime.
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Bobbie Metevier
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ellerysgridelin
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« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2015, 02:16:14 PM »

I do think it's an adorable concept!

It doesn't flow well for me as a reader though.

Agree with Michelle in previous post on May 16 --- sorry I seem to be late to this party
« Last Edit: September 05, 2015, 06:15:25 PM by ellerysgridelin » Logged
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