Author Topic: An agents nightmare  (Read 4623 times)

Offline bodwen

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An agents nightmare
« on: October 24, 2008, 03:08:05 PM »

Dear Madame:

My name is Ethel and I am a recent widow.  My novel is called "Ethel's Sacrifices" and it is a heartwarming tale of love and courage.  I haven't finished it yet, but I think it will be about 200,000 words long when I'm done. 

The story is about Ethel, a woman from Littleton, Ohio who works as a phone operator and has married the first man she kissed.  Her humdrum life is turned upside down when her accountant husband Stanley is diagnosed with a lingering and terminal disease, and Ethel is forced to leave her job to become a full-time caregiver to Stanley, who secuumbs and dies after a brutal 20 month battle with this illness.  The loss devestated Ethel both emotional and fiancially, and when she tries to return to work nobody will hire her, because she's old and she's gained a lot of weight and companies in Littleton don't consider caring for a dying husband to be real work.

This is a very important book, since it shows how my dear husband had suffered for all of these years and all of the sacrifices I had to make to care for him.  Stanley and I never had any family or friends to help us.  I've spent the past two decades washing and feeding and dressing him, and if you publish this story everyone will want to read it and that will give me life meaning.  If you reject it I will know that you are rejecting me -- and my dead husband -- and I will know that none of my sacrifices ever mattered to anyone, so I will probably pin your rejection letter to my chest and go into the gargage and leave the engine running, and it won't matter because you don't care, and nobody cares, and I should have never been born since my life was a waste and I didn't have any fun anyway.

But I know you'll love it since it such a profound tale of true courage.  Call me when you are ready to sign me.


Offline jacinda

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Re: An agents nightmare
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2008, 04:07:00 PM »
That is so...depressing.  :'(
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Re: An agents nightmare
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2008, 03:10:05 AM »
Karma for the suicidal widow.;D  Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that for sure.

Offline AutumnT

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Re: An agents nightmare
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2008, 04:15:47 AM »
wow definite karma for that one. that's good..
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Offline aaronbstarr

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Re: An agents nightmare
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2009, 07:02:52 AM »
It's things like this that make me glad I'm not an agent!  wow, this is so good, and disturbing on so many levels.

Offline M.Hall

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Re: An agents nightmare
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2009, 09:31:09 AM »
I like how the husband was sick for 20 months, and she turned it to 2 decades =)

Offline bryandub

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Re: An agents nightmare
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2009, 02:22:27 PM »
depressing and sad. But hey, that is why this topic exist right?

Offline Wheelsgr

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Re: An agents nightmare
« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2009, 08:46:34 PM »
Oh my goodness... how to word that rejection letter without having to hire a bodyguard...

Offline lisarogers

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Re: An agents nightmare
« Reply #8 on: August 22, 2009, 10:36:59 PM »
Hmmm I might have to give that a try ;D
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