Author Topic: Help with Query Letter (upmarket fiction)  (Read 30 times)

Offline junebug1969

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7
  • Karma: 0
Help with Query Letter (upmarket fiction)
« on: February 21, 2020, 04:45:52 PM »
Hi all,

I would love some feedback/eyes on my query letter.  Below is the relevant excerpt that talks about the novel.  Thanks so much in advance for any thoughts!



-----------

I am seeking representation for my novel, “A Shred of Fallen Sky” (approximately 80k words).  As you represent authors of  upmarket fiction, I thought you might be interested in taking a look at the book.  I believe it is a strong literary/commercial crossover with book club potential.

In 1998, something happened, and it can't stay forgotten any longer.  It began with two young sisters, as opposite as the poles on a compass.  Becky, shy and bookish, patiently waiting for her life to truly begin.  Samantha, capricious and unmoored, like a sailboat in a churning sea. 

Over twenty years later, Becky is living a new life.  She's left her tiny southern town and moved to the city.  She has a beautiful family, a successful career, and a life that seems downright enviable to anyone on the outside looking in.  And yet, she's stashing mini bottles in strategic locations, and downing them in a gulp when the moment calls for it.  She's taking furtive calls in her office, and wondering why her own husband won't give her the time of day.

As the storm of Becky's life comes to a frothing head, she realizes there is only one way out, and it's through her past.  She must go back to the summer of 1998.  That was the summer when Samantha got pregnant.  It was the summer when the new neighbors moved in.  Nikki, the golden girl straight out of one of Becky's Sweet Valley High books, and her brother Evan, the tall boy with wolfish amber eyes and a knowing smirk.  It was the summer when Becky took her first drink, lost her virginity, and watched her sister slide into drug addiction.  That summer, a single moment tied Becky to Samantha in a way that the ties of blood could never hope to accomplish.  That tie may prove to be her lifeline, if she can only bring herself to grasp it.

Offline TigerAsh

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 467
  • Karma: 104
Re: Help with Query Letter (upmarket fiction)
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2020, 05:38:54 PM »
You'll probably get more eyes on your query if you post this in the Query Review section.  :)

Online MichelleG

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1000
  • Karma: 143
    • MICHELLE GWYNN JONES - NEW GRACE NEWS
Re: Help with Query Letter (upmarket fiction)
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2020, 05:47:34 PM »
You should post this in query review. Before you do -

Nikki, the golden girl straight out of one of Becky's Sweet Valley High books, and her brother Evan, the tall boy with wolfish amber eyes and a knowing smirk.

- this isn’t a sentence.

From the first chapter I certainly didn’t see all this coming.  That’s a good thing.

Liked the query
"You look at these scattered houses, and you are impressed by their beauty. I look at them, and the only thought which comes to me is a feeling of isolation and the impunity with which crime may be committed there." - Sherlock Homes, The Copper Beeches - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle