Author Topic: Conspiracy theorist query  (Read 4861 times)

Offline AutumnT

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Conspiracy theorist query
« on: October 27, 2008, 10:11:32 AM »
Dear Sir,

I would like you to look at my manuscript called Cloud Swine. Its a 193, 872 1/2 word novel about an acid trip I had in college. I don't think I should go into details about this here though as someone could be watching. I would like you to call me but I cant give you my phone number due to the feds that I'm hiding from. Them and other government agents are all trying to find me over some plastic cow issue that I cant really talk about. But please if you could meet me at a certain hooka bar off 99th street in the city I will bring my book and a magnetic scrambler so no one can overhear our conversation with listening devices implanted in the walls. 
Thank you
Bob Robert...... I will tell you my real name at our meeting

P.S. I will be dressed like the post man. No one suspects them.
Weirdness is a way of life. Without it, things would be boring.
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Offline jacinda

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Re: Conspiracy theorist query
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2008, 12:12:53 PM »
I think I've actually met this guy...
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
--Oscar Wilde
The Souls of Insects: hibernating around 20,058/90,000
Cryptomancy: killing me at 13,000+...wtf?

Offline AutumnT

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Re: Conspiracy theorist query
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2008, 01:04:31 PM »
lmao... I think it might be my boyfriend................... hahahha
Weirdness is a way of life. Without it, things would be boring.
:crazy: :tongue: :jump: :snort:

Offline bodwen

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Re: Conspiracy theorist query
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2008, 02:41:06 PM »
Dear "Bob":

Thank you for sending your query to our latest maildrop.  Your manuscript sound interesting, and right up our alley.  We would be honored to look over a partial.  However, due to the secretive nature of our outfit we can not meet with you, nor can we give out our address. 

Instead send us the first 50 pages, one word at a time in the form of an anagram, by taking out a series of classified ads in the Boston Herald (not our real city) entitled "Sofa for sale.  $50.  Khaki, with a large sweat-stain on the seat."  Be sure to deliberately mispell the word that comes before the anagram, so we'll know which one to look for. These ads must be in Courier, double-spaced, with one inch margins or you will be dropped from consideration. 

Thank you for your interest and I look forward to unscrambling your manuscript.

Sincerely,
X  (Not my real initial... or is it?)

PS:  Let us know if anyone wants to buy the sofa because we have one available.


Offline AutumnT

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Re: Conspiracy theorist query
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2008, 02:49:51 PM »
 :clap: :clap: :clap: :rolf: :rolf: :rolf:


Karma for you every time I get on today!!!!

That's the best response letter ever!
Weirdness is a way of life. Without it, things would be boring.
:crazy: :tongue: :jump: :snort:

Offline Patrick

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Re: Conspiracy theorist query
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2008, 10:47:38 PM »
 :rof2:

Great letter, and a great response. 

Offline Nostrabuttus

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Re: Conspiracy theorist query
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2008, 09:24:17 AM »

That literary agency is one of the better ones at giving you feedback on your writing. They eventually ended up sending me a rejection along with an analysis of the the problems they had found. They circled every misspelled word I had put in my response ads. I was appreciative of that kind of feedback.





 
Author of humorous short stories, mainstream suspense, mystery, and thriller novels.

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http://jacklabloom.blogspot.com/

Offline jacinda

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Re: Conspiracy theorist query
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2008, 03:23:49 PM »
That literary agency is one of the better ones at giving you feedback on your writing. They eventually ended up sending me a rejection along with an analysis of the the problems they had found. They circled every misspelled word I had put in my response ads. I was appreciative of that kind of feedback.

:rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2: :rof2:
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
--Oscar Wilde
The Souls of Insects: hibernating around 20,058/90,000
Cryptomancy: killing me at 13,000+...wtf?

Offline Oxlahun

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Re: Conspiracy theorist query
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2008, 03:55:02 PM »
did you get any responses about the couch?
rejections: 1
partials: 1
pending: 0 (but that is going to change!)

Offline AutumnT

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Re: Conspiracy theorist query
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2008, 04:03:37 PM »
hehe, only one creepy homeless dude... asked if he could sleep on it if I didn't sell it.
Weirdness is a way of life. Without it, things would be boring.
:crazy: :tongue: :jump: :snort: