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Author Topic: What Happened at Kate's House - YA Contemp Romance  (Read 3664 times)
Falthor
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Picture of Me and one of the Twins (Chloe)


« on: August 08, 2015, 06:05:54 PM »

so here it is...   literally JUST over a page Single Spaced...  Read my synopsis YO!  the ending is still up for change but that will be easy enough to do if the rest of the synopsis is good...

Steve cut all ties with the social crowd rather than tell his friend Kate what her boyfriend was putting him through. For three years he stayed home and kept to himself and his games.  When Kate finally dumps her boyfriend Steve opens up to her about what happened and she invites him to a party that she is having on the weekend to try and reconnect.

When Amaya finds Steve at the party she tells him that she’s pretty sure she’s in love.  Steve is elated at first, thinking that maybe she meant him, but as he kisses her, she reveals that she’s in love with another girl. Surprisingly after her admission Amaya responds to Steve kiss with a passion that he wasn’t expecting. Confused by her conflicting emotions, Amaya leaves to find a quiet place to collect her thoughts.

Kate takes Steve to her room so they can talk without the party interfering. In her room Steve confessed that he kissed Amaya and that it was the most intense thing he ever felt.  Kate leaves the room jealous of the feelings her other friends share.

Kate then finds Amaya in the bathroom, where Amaya reveals that it’s Kate she came to ask out.  Her and Kate share a passionate kiss, and as they bask in the glow Amaya’s feelings for Steve make her feel guilty.  Kate reacts horribly when Amaya mentions Steve, and realizes that they all have feelings for one another.

While Steve is collecting his thoughts in Kate’s room, the door opens and Ashley walks in.  Ashley has come to the party with the very direct purpose of getting revenge on Kate’s ex Kevin, whom she thinks drugged and raped her.

Her anger doesn’t just lie with Kevin though and when she sees Amaya standing in the door she kisses Steve while taunting Amaya with her eyes.

Amaya enters the room and confronts Steve, revealing to him that she is in love with Kate.   Steve utters the same feeling for Kate, and enrages Amaya.  As Steve is about to tell Kevin’s booming voice and threats of violence interrupts him..

Kevin has Kate trapped and is screaming at the top of his lungs. Fearing for her safety Steve picks Kevin up and slams him into the ground concussing him.

Steve Carries Kate to the backyard where Amaya hovers over her protectively. Seeing how happy they appear Steve Decides their happiness is worth more to him than a chance at love with either.  Steve leaves the party heartbroken.

Half delirious Kevin crawls down the hall and run into Ashley.  Ashley pulls him into a bedroom and promptly handcuffs him to the bed, and shreds his clothes as a form of immediate revenge. Using her video recorder she badgers

Kevin into admitting that he did in fact drug her but had never raped her. Happy to have even a half admission she copies the video and leaves a copy with Kevin then leaves the party, secure in the knowledge that she will be able to get fuller revenge in the future.

Kate talks with Amaya and reveals that they all have feelings for one another, and sends Amaya out to find the heartbroken Steve while she kicks people out of her house.

Steve gives Ashley a ride home and passes up the opportunity for sex with her.

Amaya finds Steve at a playground by his house and gives him a drive back to Kate’s house.  There the three friends go to sleep in the same bed, unsure of what will come but happy that they still have each other.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2015, 08:52:42 AM by Falthor » Logged

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Falthor
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Picture of Me and one of the Twins (Chloe)


« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2015, 06:07:00 PM »

just FYI in the original Amaya and Steve kissed and decided they were happy wqith each other, and it setup the sequel quite nicely...  mayeb that's still a play that can happen.   what do you think?  all 3 happy, or 2 happy and one pissed?
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Corinth
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« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2015, 06:28:56 PM »

so here it is...   literally JUST over a page Single Spaced...  Read my synopsis YO!  the ending is still up for change but that will be easy enough to do if the rest of the synopsis is good...

Steve cut all ties with the social crowd rather than telling his friend Kate what her boyfriend was putting him through. It's not all too clear to me how the two really coincide. For three years he stayed home and kept to himself and his games.  When Kate finally dumps her boyfriend Steve opens up to her about what happened and she invites him to a party that she is having on the weekend to try and reconnect. Is the bit about the boyfriend really that essential to the plot?

When Amaya finds Steve at the party she tells him that she’s pretty sure she’s in love.  Steve is elated at first, thinking that maybe she meant him, but as he kisses her, she reveals that she’s in love with another girl. Surprisingly or "But" since you use wasn't expecting at the end of the sentence. after her admission Amaya responds to Steve kiss with a passion that he wasn’t expecting. Confused by her conflicting emotions, Amaya leaves to find a quiet place to collect her thoughts.

Kate takes Steve to her room so they can talk without the party interfering. In her room Steve confessed that he kissed Amaya and that it was the most intense thing he ever felt.  Kate leaves the room jealous of the feelings her other friends share.

Kate then finds Amaya in the bathroom, where Amaya reveals that it’s Kate she came to ask out.  Her and Kate share a passionate kiss, and as they bask in the glow, Amaya’s feelings for Steve make her feel guilty.  Kate reacts horribly when Amaya mentions Steve, and realizes that they all have feelings for one another.

While Steve is collecting his thoughts in Kate’s room, the door opens and Ashley walks in.  Ashley has come to the party with the very direct purpose of getting revenge on Kate’s ex Kevin, whom she thinks drugged and raped her.

Her anger doesn’t just lie with Kevin though and when she sees Amaya standing in the door she kisses Steve while taunting Amaya with her eyes. So she's mad at Amaya too? How come?

Amaya enters the room and confronts Steve, revealing to him that she is in love with Kate.   Steve utters the same feeling for Kate, and enrages Amaya.  As Steve is about to tell Kevin’s booming voice and threats of violence interrupts him..

Kevin has Kate trapped and is screaming at the top of his lungs. What exactly do you mean by trapped, and how come he's screaming? Fearing for her safety Steve picks Kevin up and slams him into the ground, concussing him.

Steve Carries Kate to the backyard where Amaya hovers over her protectively. Seeing how happy they appear Steve Decides their happiness is worth more to him than a chance at love with either.  Steve leaves the party heartbroken.

Half delirious Kevin crawls down the hall and run into Ashley.  Ashley pulls him into a bedroom and promptly handcuffs him to the bed, and shreds his clothes as a form of immediate revenge. Using her video recorder, she badgers Kevin into admitting that he did in fact drug her but had never raped her. Happy to have even a half admission she copies the video and leaves a copy with Kevin then leaves the party, secure in the knowledge that she will be able to get fuller revenge in the future.

Kate talks with Amaya and reveals that they all have feelings for one another, and sends Amaya out to find the heartbroken Steve while she being Kate? kicks people out of her house.

Steve gives Ashley a ride home and passes up the opportunity for sex with her. The Kevin and Ashley part and the love triangle part seem kind of disconnected to me.

Amaya finds Steve at a playground by his house and gives him a drive back to Kate’s house.  There the three friends go to sleep in the same bed, unsure of what will come but happy that they still have each other.

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Falthor
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Picture of Me and one of the Twins (Chloe)


« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2015, 07:45:05 PM »

thanks...  the two stories are pretty much exclusive in themselves but the characters from both intersect with each other...  nto sure how muchmore about that I can incorporate though.  I'll give it another wing.  I'm actually incouraged by how few questions you had.
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Falthor
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Picture of Me and one of the Twins (Chloe)


« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2015, 08:56:42 PM »

and now it's getting a little longer...   but this is pretty close...   is this better?


Steve cut all ties with the social crowd rather than telling his friend Kate what her boyfriend was putting him through. He chose her happiness over his own. For three years he stayed home and kept to himself and his games.  When Kate finally dumps her boyfriend Steve opens up to her about what happened and she invites him to a party that she is having on the weekend to try and reconnect.

When Amaya finds Steve at the party she tells him that she’s pretty sure she’s in love.  Steve is elated at first; thinking that she meant him. As he kisses her, she reveals that she’s in love with another girl. But after her admission Amaya responds to Steve kiss with a passion that he wasn’t expecting. Confused by her conflicting emotions, Amaya leaves to find a quiet place to collect her thoughts.

Kate takes Steve to her room so they can talk without the party interfering. In her room Steve confessed that he kissed Amaya and that it was the most intense thing he ever felt.  Kate leaves the room jealous of the feelings her other friends share.

Kate then finds Amaya in the bathroom, where Amaya reveals that it’s Kate she came to ask out.  She shares a passionate kiss with Kate, and as they bask in the glow Amaya’s feelings for Steve make her feel guilty.  Kate reacts horribly when Amaya mentions Steve, and realizes that they all have feelings for one another.

Ashley was standing at the door through the exchange listening intently.  Her goal of the night might be Kevin, who she thinks drugged and raped her, but the second person on her short list of revenge was Amaya.  It had been Amaya that had started the rumours that ended in her social isolation.

Armed with the knowledge Ashley finds Steve in Kate’s room, and befriends him.  After he tells her the story of how he met Kate Ashley is ready to go out into the party and set her plan in motion, but sees Amaya at the door. 

Thinking quick Ashley kisses Steve, taunting Amaya with her eyes the whole time.

Amaya enters the room and confronts Steve, revealing to him that she is in love with Kate. Steve utters the same feeling for Kate, and enrages Amaya.  As Steve is about to tell Kevin’s booming voice and threats of violence interrupts him.

Kevin has Kate physically trapped against a railing overlooking the basement. Because of a drug that Ashley spiked his drink with earlier he’s agitated and angry screaming at the top of his lungs into Kate’s face. Fearing for her safety Steve rushes Kevin, picks him up and slams him to the floor concussing him.

Steve Carries Kate to the backyard where Amaya hovers over her protectively. Seeing how happy they appear Steve Decides their happiness is worth more to him than a chance at love with either.  Steve leaves the party heartbroken.

Half delirious Kevin crawls down the hall and run into Ashley.  Ashley pulls him into a bedroom and promptly handcuffs him to the bed, and shreds his clothes as a form of immediate revenge. Using her video recorder she badgers
Kevin into admitting that he did in fact drug her but had never raped her. Happy to have even a half admission she copies the video and leaves a copy with Kevin then leaves the party, secure in the knowledge that she will be able to get fuller revenge in the future.

Kate talks with Amaya and reveals that they all have feelings for one another, and sends Amaya out to find the heartbroken Steve. With the two people she cared about gone Kate kicks everyone out of her house and locks herself in her bedroom.

Steve gives Ashley a ride home but passes on her offer of sex.

Amaya finds Steve at a playground by his house.  Confronting him again she reveals how much he means to her, and that Kate does as well.  They hold each other as the sun rises.

Unfortunately Ashley lives within site of the park, and is feeling a little jilted from the night before.  When she sees Amaya and Steve kissing on a swing at the park She calls Kate to tell her all about it, putting the second part of her revenge into motion.
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Falthor
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Picture of Me and one of the Twins (Chloe)


« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2015, 08:52:25 AM »

Same thing as the Query...   getting this ready to start actually querying.  Anything that needs to be brushed up on etc?
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