QUERY: LAST BUT NOT LEASHED

[utesfanami]

Dear Puuuurfect Agent,

I am writing on behalf of meeeowner, Bartamis Fartimus.

Barty wrote a puuurfect book, LAST NOT BUT LEASHED, a one thousand and two word thriller. Readers of Harry Potter and Where Do Babies Come From? will laugh, cry, and sit on the edge of their seats when they read this. Despite my hatred of dogs, I know this will be a bestseller. Anyway, this is about a dog that gets forced into the race circuit. He wants to win the race but if he does, he’ll be forced into another race. So he decides to start losing until no one wants to race him anymore. And it works!
 
Barty lives alone with twelve of my feline friends. He likes Cheerios, and can often be seen napping on the couch, with a pack of Twizzlers on his chest.

I have pasted the full MS below and I have attached some tastefully done nudes of meeeowner. I will be waiting by the phone for your call.
 
That’s all,

Whiskers

[Pandean]

Ha. Nice.

[Lora Palmer]

Dear Whiskers,

Thank you for submitting your human's story--after all, in the relationship between human and feline, we all know who the actual owner is, right ;)?--LAST BUT NOT LEASHED for consideration. I did, however, delete the photos you attached. Didn't need to see those.

As an agent with a soft spot for both felines and canines, I couldn't help but read Mr. Fartimus' story and love it. A more comparable title for it, at least to my mind, would be The Art of Racing In the Rain. Though I do not represent short stories generally, if your word count is accurate,  I am aware of an upcoming charity anthology to benefit the SPCA, for which this story may be a puuuurfect fit. I'd be happy to recommend the story to the editor, as well as take a look at any novel-length stories your human may have ready to query.

Hope to hear back from you and Mr. Fartimus soon.

Meowny thanks,



Puuuurfect Agent

[McG]

These are great. 

I love "I will be waiting by the phone for your call."