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Author Topic: Visitor Synopsis, Will Recip (Space Opera Science-Fiction)  (Read 9538 times)
WayneMeyers
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« on: September 08, 2015, 08:20:41 AM »

All input appreciated, thanks.
 
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Professor DOUGLAS KELLER understands everything about the behavior of nano-particles, but can’t explain the growing telepathic bond between himself and ALDREA, a beautiful Quenterian alien woman stranded on Earth, who saves his life before turning it upside-down. Doug cannot hide his thoughts or ignore the deep emotional connection shared with this mysterious stranger, who tries everything possible to break their link without success. Conflicted but compelled to help, Doug convinces an FBI agent they are a normal married couple, and brings her home. Aldrea’s know-it-all attitude and air of superiority infuriates him, but the inexplicable bond strengthens, drawing them closer together.
 
VEERA, heartless leader of a warring faction of Aldrea’s people called the Radicals, believes Aldrea’s presence on Earth conflicts with their active rebellion against the ruling government, and dispatches a team to eliminate her.
 
BILL HOFFMAN, FBI Deputy Director, and EDWARD SWANN, CIA Director, reluctantly agree to defer their dislike for each other and join forces to locate Aldrea, after satellite intelligence shows an alien is loose in the Adirondack Mountains.
 
Bill, Swann, and their agents arrive at Doug’s house in time to kill the alien assassin before he kills Aldrea. Surprised to find so many human “militants” gathered about their target, the Radical team’s commander abducts them all for mindsweeping back on the planet where Radical headquarters is located. They learn that the Radicals have jammed communications and unleashed a navigational virus, grounding every spacecraft except their own, before attacking the Quenterian symbolic capital planet, Yornacut. Should this planet fall, other systems will capitulate and allow Veera’s Radicals seize control. Radical philosophy ensures the people of Earth will become their slaves.
 
The humans and Aldrea take control of the Radical spaceship, and fly to a planet where governmental leaders vacation, hoping to find the leadership needed to coordinate a counter attack. They now possess a working spaceship that might help a technician reverse-engineer the navigational virus, allowing fleets of reinforcements to launch and defend Yornacut. Veera’s forces are limited and if she cannot take Yornacut quickly, her rebellion will fail. The stolen spaceship also contains the encrypted coordinates of the planet where Veera is located. If the technicians can break that encryption, they have a starting point to find Veera and stop her.
 
While Bill and Swann discuss strategy with the Quenterian leaders, Doug and Aldrea overcome their romantic reservations to exchange love vows, and present each other with symbolic flowers, one of which are extremely rare and sentient. A Radical attack then captures Doug, as the others flee in the stolen spaceship to another planet that hosts a military base. The military technicians work on undoing the navigational virus and cracking the encryption to locate Veera’s planet. Once successful, Bill leads Aldrea and the agents there to rescue Doug and locate Veera, while Swann confers with the Quenterian leaders on a strategy to save Yornacut before its defenses fall.
 
Veera gains the upper hand, but is defeated when Doug and Aldrea use their unique bond to avoid her superior psychic powers, moments before launching a sun-destroying projectile toward Earth’s sun. Aldrea heals a dying Doug, then agrees to return to Earth with him as both humans and Quenterians face an exciting new future.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2015, 09:48:19 AM by WayneMeyers » Logged

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Please visit my author's website for my blog and social media links.
http://WayneMeyers.com/
WayneMeyers
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« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2015, 09:48:00 AM »

V. 2

Professor DOUGLAS KELLER can’t remember why his shirt is covered in blood until he meets ALDREA, a beautiful Quenterian alien woman recently stranded on Earth, who healed him from near-death the night before after a hiking accident, then erased herself from his memory. Alone and afraid, Aldrea turns to Doug for help escaping the soldiers combing the region to find her. Conflicted but willing to help, Doug convinces an FBI agent they are a normal married couple and brings her home. Aldrea’s know-it-all attitude and air of superiority infuriate him, but an inexplicable telepathic bond between them strengthens, drawing them closer together than either believed possible.

VEERA, sadistic leader of a warring faction of Aldrea’s people called the Radicals, wishes for humans to remain unaware of their existence and dispatches a team to eliminate her. Veera delights in torturing others with her enhanced psychic powers, and believes other races should serve the Quenterians as slaves. She launches a masterful rebellion to place her faction in power.

BILL HOFFMAN, FBI Deputy Director, and EDWARD SWANN, CIA Director, reluctantly agree to defer their dislike for each other and join forces to locate Aldrea, after satellite intelligence shows an alien is loose in the Adirondack Mountains.

Bill, Swann, and their agents arrive at Doug’s house in time to kill the alien assassin before he kills Aldrea. Surprised to find so many human “militants” gathered about their target, the Radical team’s commander abducts them all for mindsweeping back on the planet where Radical headquarters is located. They learn that the Radicals have jammed communications and unleashed a navigational virus, grounding every spacecraft except their own. Their space fleet is attacking the Quenterian symbolic capital planet, Yornacut. Should this planet fall, other systems will capitulate and allow Veera’s Radicals to seize control. Once in power, Radical philosophy ensures the people of Earth will become their slaves.

Bill, Swann, and their agents take control of the Radical spaceship, and fly to a planet hoping to find the leadership needed to coordinate a counter attack. They now possess a working spaceship that might help a technician reverse-engineer the navigational virus, allowing fleets of reinforcements to launch and defend Yornacut. Veera’s forces are limited and if she cannot take Yornacut quickly, her rebellion will fail. The stolen spaceship also contains the encrypted coordinates of the planet where Veera is located. If the technicians can break that encryption, they have a starting point to find Veera and stop her.

While Bill and Swann discuss strategy with the Quenterian leaders, Doug and Aldrea overcome their romantic misgivings to exchange love vows, and present each other with symbolic flowers, one of which are extremely rare and sentient. During a Radical attack Doug is captured as the others flee in the stolen spaceship, heading to another planet that hosts a military base. The military technicians work on undoing the navigational virus and cracking the encryption to locate Veera’s planet. Once successful, Bill leads Aldrea and the agents there to rescue Doug and locate Veera, while Swann confers with the Quenterian leaders on a strategy to save Yornacut before its defenses fall.

Veera gains the upper hand, but is defeated when Doug and Aldrea use their unique bond to avoid her superior psychic powers, just moments before Veera launches a sun-destroying projectile toward Earth’s sun. Aldrea heals a dying Doug, then agrees to return to Earth with him as both humans and Quenterians face an exciting new future.
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Please visit my author's website for my blog and social media links.
http://WayneMeyers.com/
AndiBabe
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« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2015, 09:28:52 AM »

Your novel sounds interesting. I'd read it. I'm a huge scifi fan.

However, the first thing you should do is put in the time period and a bit about Earth. This link has great info on how to do a one-page synopsis, and they provide an example with Star Wars. The first thing they put in their synopsis is: "Long ago, in a galaxy far away, a controlling government called the Empire takes control of planets, systems, and people. Anyone who resists is obliterated." Then they follow it up with info on the main characters. In your synopsis, you could say something like: "In 2040, aliens live on Earth and ..." Or maybe: "In present-day Earth, Douglas ..." Right now I don't know which it is. Then go right into your first paragraph about Doug.

After that, I was able to follow along pretty easily until I got to the 4th paragraph. You say the agents kill "the assassin," but you never mentioned an assassin. If you had said "an assassin sent by ___" then I wouldn't be confused. The "the" makes me think I should know who this is. Then the Radicals are mentioned, but I need a transition between the first and second sentences to show that the Radicals were even at Doug's place. I'm confused again when it says "They learn..." Who are the "they"? And whose spacefleet is attacking the planet?

In the 5th paragraph it says that Bill, Swann, and the agents gain control of the spaceship. However, right before that, it says that all the spacecrafts were grounded. How did they get into space if everything was grounded?

After that, I was able to follow your plot. But I did start to wonder one thing, which you may want to answer. Why are Bill, Swann and the others so concerned with defending the capital planet? Why do they care about the aliens? Why aren't they just concerned with getting back home to Earth?

Good luck! It's so hard to boil a complicated plot into such a short space. I hope I helped a little.
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arneal1
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« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2015, 09:01:58 PM »

Hi, Wayne! I'm a novice at synopses but work as a university faculty member, so please be kind with my feedback Smiley I've included it as bold italics within your post below.

V. 2

Professor DOUGLAS KELLER can’t remember why his shirt is covered in blood until he meets ALDREA, a beautiful Quenterian alien woman recently stranded on Earth, who healed him from near-death the night before after a hiking accident, then erased herself from his memory. Alone and afraid, Aldrea turns to Doug for help escaping the soldiers combing the region to find her. Why would she turn to him after erasing his memory? Maybe a hint of connection between the two of them here?Conflicted but willing to help, Doug convinces an FBI agent they are a normal married couple and brings her home. Brings her home from where? Why is the FBI involved? Aldrea’s know-it-all attitude and air of superiority infuriate him, but an inexplicable telepathic bond between them strengthens, drawing them closer together than either believed possible.

VEERA, sadistic leader of a warring faction of Aldrea’s people called the Radicals, wishes for humans to remain unaware of their existence and dispatches a team to eliminate her. Veera delights in torturing others with her enhanced psychic powers, and believes other races should serve the Quenterians as slaves. She launches a masterful rebellion to place her faction in power. What brought the Quenterians in contact with Earth in the first place?

BILL HOFFMAN, FBI Deputy Director, and EDWARD SWANN, CIA Director, reluctantly agree to defer their dislike for each other and join forces to locate Aldrea, after satellite intelligence shows an alien is loose in the Adirondack Mountains. In the first paragraph you indicate the FBI has her, so this seems out of place.

Bill, Swann, and their agents arrive at Doug’s house in time to kill the alien assassin before he kills Aldrea. Surprised to find so many human “militants” gathered about their target, the Radical team’s commander abducts them all for mindsweeping back on the planet where Radical headquarters is located. They Who is 'they' here -- the FBI/CIA or the alien commander? learn that the Radicals have jammed communications and unleashed a navigational virus, grounding every spacecraft except their own. Is there ship immune? Did they expect the attack?Their space fleet is attacking the Quenterian symbolic capital planet, Yornacut. Should this planet fall, other systems will capitulate and allow Veera’s Radicals to seize control. Once in power, Radical philosophy ensures the people of Earth will become their slaves. The jump from Hoffman and Swann to the alien commander seems jarring. Also, if you use one character's last name, you'll want to do that consistently -- rather than 'Bill, Swann, and their agents', use 'Hoffman, Swann, and their agents'.

Bill, Swann, and their agents Consider starting this paragraph differently than the last to avoid redundancy.take control of the Radical spaceship, and fly to a planet hoping to find the leadership needed to coordinate a counter attack. They now possess a working spaceship that might help a technician reverse-engineer the navigational virus, allowing fleets of reinforcements to launch and defend Yornacut. Veera’s forces are limited and if she cannot take Yornacut quickly, her rebellion will fail. The stolen spaceship also contains the encrypted coordinates of the planet where Veera is located. If the technicians can break that encryption, they have a starting point to find Veera and stop her. So is the FBI/CIA interested in helping Aldrea, who they seemed to be intent on capturing in the first paragraph?

While Bill and Swann discuss strategy with the Quenterian leaders, Doug and Aldrea overcome their romantic misgivings to exchange love vows, and present each other with symbolic flowers, one of which are extremely rare and sentient. Did Doug and Aldrea go with Hoffman and Swann?During a Radical attack Doug is captured as the others flee in the stolen spaceship, heading to another planet that hosts a military base. The military technicians work on undoing the navigational virus and cracking the encryption to locate Veera’s planet. Once successful, Bill leads Aldrea and the agents there to rescue Doug and locate Veera, while Swann confers with the Quenterian leaders on a strategy to save Yornacut before its defenses fall.

Veera gains the upper hand, but is defeated when Doug and Aldrea use their unique bond to avoid her superior psychic powers, just moments before Veera launches a sun-destroying projectile toward Earth’s sun. Aldrea heals a dying Doug, When was Doug injured?then agrees to return to Earth with him as both humans and Quenterians face an exciting new future.
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