Author Topic: Looking to Swap a Submission Package for Querying Agents (YA Fantasy)  (Read 2020 times)

Offline tiffanielynn

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Hey! I'm planning on submitting to agents soon and would like a few sets of eyes to read over my query, synopsis and first three chapters. My book is a YA fantasy inspired by The Wizard of Oz. I'll post the query and first 250 word below. Let me know if you'd like to swap  :)

Seventeen-year-old sci-fi nerd Aurelia Tate always wanted to be a superhero—turns out, she might just be the villain.

After dying in a freak tornado, Aurelia awakes in Ozir, a place for souls to recuperate and find peace before reincarnating to another life. But while most souls have gray eyes, Aurelia’s are a startling gold. Her glowing irises mark her as the reincarnation of Nissa, a sentinel who guarded a massive wall dividing Ozir from a wasteland filled with soul-hungry darkness. Being the kickass Sentinel of the West would’ve normally fulfilled Aurelia’s wildest fantasies, but Nissa had to go and ruin it. Twenty years ago, the sentinel opened the wall's gate, letting in the darkness to devour thousands of souls. Now Aurelia must atone for Nissa’s crimes.

When she's told a trial will be held, and she’ll likely be convicted, Aurelia decides getting the hell out of Ozir is her best bet for keeping her soul intact. Then odd memories from Nissa resurface, revealing she could’ve been coerced. If Nissa was innocent, the real traitors could remain in Ozir, waiting for the right moment to strike again. Aurelia is the only one who can unlock the secrets in her mind, clear her name, and save Ozir.

Unless she’s actually guilty.

In HER GOLDEN CRIMES, the reincarnation and romance of the Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy meets the living darkness of The Grisha world. It is a young adult fantasy, complete at 83,000 words and set in an afterlife loosely inspired by The Wizard of Oz.


I never thought I’d die for something as boring as a glue stick.

“Dude.” I dragged the word out, despite not being a stoner, skater or surfer. If anything, I was a sci-fi geek, but we, as a people, didn’t really have an official word. Maybe just a scream of unadulterated joy at the release of a new movie or a shocked gasp at a revelation in a TV episode. But my Duuude was meant to soften the blow that would come next. “We’re going to have to go outside.”

Kate glanced at me from where she sat on the hardwood floor of my bedroom. Her fingers tightened around the paper she held, a baby-blue poster board we were attempting to decorate. “Eww, why?”

I twisted the cylindrical glue stick in my hand, pushing the tube of adhesive up and revealing nothing more than a scraped-away layer of beige.

“Aurelia.” Kate adjusted the pink-framed glasses on her nose, giving me an unobstructed view into her blue eyes. She said my name like Mom did when I did something to make her disappointed. Over the last month, I’d heard that tone weekly, whenever Max called home and I told Mom I was too busy to say hello.

“I know, I know,” I said, tossing the glue stick on my bed. “But don’t worry, we’ll get this done and ace the presentation tomorrow. There’s a craft store a five minute drive from here. I’d say let’s walk, but it looks gross outside.”
Twitter: @LynnTiffanie