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Author Topic: Send Him Victorious, a political thriller  (Read 6649 times)
LordRocco
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« on: January 27, 2016, 11:12:08 AM »

Any comments anyone?

-----------------

King Alfred II arrives in the House of Lords to open Parliament and give his annual speech. Meanwhile, a large detachment of British Army soldiers under the command of General Stewart Montgomery enter the Houses of Parliament on the pretext of an undisclosed threat. Halfway through his speech the King departs from his script and informs Parliament that he is taking over the rule of the country, making himself absolute monarch as the kings of old.

Pandemonium engulfs the House. The King is questioned and threatened with forcible removal, at which point the General and his men arrive to enforce the King's rule and subdue Parliament.

Returning to the Palace, King Alfred meets with his children, HRH Adrian the Prince of Wales and HRH Frances the Princess Royal. Adrian refuses to embrace his father's actions, preferring his life of ease and adultery. Frances is much more encouraging, impressed, and approving.

Archbishop of Canterbury Wolf Youngblood appeals to the King in an attempt to persuade him to return to the status quo, but only succeeds in strengthening Alfred's resolve. He begins a campaign to subtly undermine the King and the New Order.

Later, in panic, Prince Adrian takes to the bottle and his mistress, but Frances intervenes to persuade him to embrace the New Order. Given new confidence by his sister he accepts a commission to command a ship and mount a mission to Scotland to appeal for national unity. His initial reception in Edinburgh is good but degenerates before a hostile Scottish Assembly. Failing in his mission, he returns to his ship and to London, isolating himself.

Prime Minister Quincy Hollings, tasked by King Alfred, fights to control a now impotent English Parliament. Meanwhile, half the country's Police forces form a rebel militia at the behest of their union AS-ONE and its leader Sir Patrick Blackwell.

The militia infiltrate the city of York and take control of it. The Army come to York and surround the city, sending infiltration teams in an attempt to retake it and engaging in a number of battles against unexpectedly strong opposition.

In private conversation with General Montgomery, King Alfred expresses his doubts. The General rebukes him sharply, reminding him of the benefits to Britain which will only ensue when the nation is stable again. The King remains doubtful, angering the General.

A team of insurgents, hidden in the ranks of the General's staff, kidnap him from within Buckingham Palace. This strengthens the King's resolve. The militia make contact, requiring the King to hand the nation back to Parliament. Instead, Alfred liaises closely with the Army's and Secret Service's intelligence units, forming and executing a plan to rescue the General.

General Montgomery, his spirit nearly broken by his experiences, swears his continued loyalty to the King, receiving brutal therapy to return him to fighting condition.

The United Nations Security Council expresses its concerns about the New Order, ejecting the British representative and angering the King. Alfred rallies his son, and Prince Adrian mounts a mission to the UN in New York. At first he is making headway, but in secret live contact with the French representative Archbishop Youngblood sets the him and the Security Council against the Prince, who is forced to leave in defeat and return to his ship.

The battle in York is rapidly decimating the city as the Army and the militia fight on the rooftops, streets, and sewers.

The King's attention to the Civil War is diverted when Prince Adrian is found dead on his ship, a suicide. Alfred locks himself away in his private apartment, speaking to no one, refusing to eat and bathe.

In his absence, Princess Frances persuades Parliament and the armed forces to work with her. She contrives a plan to send a small team into occupied Manchester where Sir Patrick, the leader of AS-ONE, is staying to rally his troops. They assassinate Sir Patrick, whose deputy has made overtures of peace behind his boss's back. This combined with a renewed campaign to retake York succeeds in ending the Civil War.

By now, however, the US President is applying pressure to dismantle the New Order, citing Britain's internal instability as affecting US interests there. In talks with the American ambassador Edward Stapleton, Princess Frances fails to comply or persuade, and the USA threatens military action.

America attacks British ships at sea, violates British airspace, and threatens further action.

Finding Britain at war with its longtime ally, Alfred emerges from his isolation. He arranges for attacks to be made on American ships and for an Islamic extremist organisation to be blamed. Making overtures of peace to the President, Alfred offers to share intelligence and help run down their mutual "enemy". The plan earns a temporary cease-fire.

The former insurgents are now housed in prison camps throughout the country. Archbishop Youngblood arranges for them to be incited to violence in a wider effort to undermine the King, whose power he now covets.

Using the violence in the camps as evidence that Alfred cannot control his country, the aggressive President renews hostilities against Britain. The King tries to placate America without giving up his reign, but fails. Under the stress, his health begins to fail.

Encouraged by Archbishop Youngblood to continue working as if nothing was wrong, the King pushes himself too far and becomes incapacitated. From his sickbed he sees his plan to sink a large number of ships in America's Atlantic Fleet succeed by methods which could not be traced back to Britain, and he dies.

Princess Frances very soon lobbies to have herself declared Queen, but there is an obstacle: the late Prince's young son Joseph, the heir to the throne. Frances arranges for the children to 'disappear', having them spirited away to a remote and apparently abandoned WWII sea-fort under constant guard. But even in the absence of the boy King she cannot persuade Parliament and more importantly the heads of the armed forces to support her bid. Only General Montgomery supports her.

America, despite its naval setbacks, mounts a successful invasion of Liverpool. It becomes an occupied city.

Reasoning that if she could provide evidence of the young King's death she would be the natural heir, she sends her trusted aide and strong-arm Duncan to kill him. Duncan boards a helicopter bound for the island fort.

Meanwhile, Frances has a change of heart and persuades an Army pilot to take her to the fort. Arriving in the nick of time, she prevents Duncan from shooting the child, resigning herself to the fact that she will never be Queen. But one of her accompanying soldiers takes a picture of her rescuing Joseph, shares it online, and the picture goes viral.

Suddenly the entire nation wants her to be the Queen. Always interested in pleasing the public, Parliament supports her, and the dissenting forces soon concede.

His plan to usurp rule frustrated by Queen France's new position, an angry Youngblood faces her and attempts to kill her. She gains the advantage and kills him instead.

Making her first television broadcast as Queen, a bruised and battered Frances speaks to her subjects, extolling the virtues of a strong Britain and promising a prosperous future.

THE END
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suja
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« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2016, 10:46:06 AM »

Hi, I'm lousy at synopsis myself, so please take my comments with lots of salt.
Any comments anyone?

-----------------

King Alfred II arrives in the House of Lords to open Parliament and give his annual speech You want to capitalize the characters' names when they appear for the first time. So here Alfred would be capitalized, but not when you mention him later. Also consider setting. Is this historical? What year?. Meanwhile, a large detachment of British Army soldiers under the command of General Stewart Montgomery enter the Houses of Parliament on the pretext of an undisclosed threatYou could delete this sentence here and just mention it later when you say that the General arrive to enforce the king's rule.. Halfway through his speech the King departs from his script and informs Parliament that he is taking over the rule of the country, making himself absolute monarch as the kings of old.

Pandemonium engulfs the House. The King is questioned and threatened with forcible removal, at which point the General and his men arrive to enforce the King's rule and subdue Parliament.

Returning to the Palace, King Alfred meets with his children, HRH Adrian the Prince of Wales and HRH Frances the Princess Royal. Adrian refuses to embrace his father's actions, preferring his life of ease and adultery. Frances is much more encouraging, impressed, and approving. My question here would be the king's motivation. I'm assuming he is the MC. To get us into his head or understand his actions, consider providing motivation. Was he driven by greed? Power? Or was he doing it to help in some form? This will characterize him as well.

Archbishop of Canterbury Wolf Youngblood Make sure you capitalize names when they appear for the first timeappeals to the King in an attempt to persuade him to return to the status quo, but only succeeds in strengthening Alfred's resolve. He Who? The Archbishop? begins a campaign to subtly undermine the King and the New Order.

Later, in panic, Prince Adrian takes to the bottle and his mistress, but Frances intervenes to persuade him to embrace the New Order. Given new confidence by his sister he accepts a commission to command a ship and mount a mission to Scotland to appeal for national unity. His initial reception in Edinburgh is good but degenerates before a hostile Scottish Assembly. Failing in his mission, he returns to his ship and to London, isolating himself.

Prime Minister Quincy Hollings, tasked by King Alfred, fights to control a now impotent English Parliament. Meanwhile, half the country's Police forces form a rebel militia at the behest of their union AS-ONE and its leader Sir Patrick Blackwell.

The militia infiltrate the city of York and take control of it. The Army come to York and surround the city, sending infiltration teams in an attempt to retake it and engaging in a number of battles against unexpectedly strong opposition.

In private conversation with General Montgomery, King Alfred expresses his doubts. The General rebukes him sharply, reminding him of the benefits to Britain which will only ensue when the nation is stable again. The King remains doubtful, angering the General.Okay so the General seems to be the one instigating the king. Nice. I like how you show the machinations behind the scene.

A team of insurgents, hidden in the ranks of the General's staff, kidnap him from within Buckingham Palace. This strengthens the King's resolve. The militia make contact, requiring the King to hand the nation back to Parliament. Instead, Alfred liaises closely with the Army's and Secret Service's intelligence units, forming and executing a plan to rescue the General.

General Montgomery, his spirit nearly broken by his experiences, swears his continued loyalty to the King, receiving brutal therapy to return him to fighting condition.

The United Nations Security Council expresses its concerns about the New Order, ejecting the British representative and angering the King. Alfred rallies his son, and Prince Adrian mounts a mission to the UN in New York. At first he is making headway, but in secret live contact with the French representative Archbishop Youngblood sets the him and the Security Council against the Prince, who is forced to leave in defeat and return to his ship.

The battle in York is rapidly decimating the city as the Army and the militia fight on the rooftops, streets, and sewers.

The King's attention to the Civil War is diverted when Prince Adrian is found dead on his ship, a suicide. Alfred locks himself away in his private apartment, speaking to no one, refusing to eat and bathe.

In his absence, Princess Frances persuades Parliament and the armed forces to work with her. She contrives a plan to send a small team into occupied Manchester where Sir Patrick, the leader of AS-ONE, is staying to rally his troops. They assassinate Sir Patrick, whose deputy has made overtures of peace behind his boss's back. This combined with a renewed campaign to retake York succeeds in ending the Civil War.

By now, however, the US President is applying pressure to dismantle the New Order, citing Britain's internal instability as affecting US interests there. In talks with the American ambassador Edward Stapleton, Princess Frances fails to comply or persuade, and the USA threatens military action.

America attacks British ships at sea, violates British airspace, and threatens further action.

Finding Britain at war with its longtime ally, Alfred emerges from his isolation. He arranges for attacks to be made on American ships and for an Islamic extremist organisation to be blamed Wow. So this is all in the present, then. . Making overtures of peace to the President, Alfred offers to share intelligence and help run down their mutual "enemy". The plan earns a temporary cease-fire.

The former insurgents are now housed in prison camps throughout the country. Archbishop Youngblood arranges for them to be incited to violence in a wider effort to undermine the King, whose power he now covets.

Using the violence in the camps as evidence that Alfred cannot control his country, the aggressive President renews hostilities against Britain. The King tries to placate America without giving up his reign, but fails. Under the stress, his health begins to fail.

Encouraged by Archbishop Youngblood to continue working as if nothing was wrong, the King pushes himself too far and becomes incapacitated. From his sickbed he sees his plan to sink a large number of ships in America's Atlantic Fleet succeed by methods which could not be traced back to Britain, and he dies.

Princess Frances very soon lobbies to have herself declared Queen, but there is an obstacle: the late Prince's young son Joseph, the heir to the throne. Frances arranges for the children to 'disappear', having them spirited away to a remote and apparently abandoned WWII sea-fort under constant guard. But even in the absence of the boy King she cannot persuade Parliament and more importantly the heads of the armed forces to support her bid. Only General Montgomery supports her.

America, despite its naval setbacks, mounts a successful invasion of Liverpool. It becomes an occupied city.

Reasoning that if she could provide evidence of the young King's death she would be the natural heir, she sends her trusted aide and strong-arm Duncan to kill him. Duncan boards a helicopter bound for the island fort.

Meanwhile, Frances has a change of heart and persuades an Army pilot to take her to the fort. Arriving in the nick of time, she prevents Duncan from shooting the child, resigning herself to the fact that she will never be Queen. But one of her accompanying soldiers takes a picture of her rescuing Joseph, shares it online, and the picture goes viral.

Suddenly the entire nation wants her to be the Queen. Always interested in pleasing the public, Parliament supports her, and the dissenting forces soon concede.

His plan to usurp rule frustrated by Queen France's new position, an angry Youngblood faces her and attempts to kill her. She gains the advantage and kills him instead.

Making her first television broadcast as Queen, a bruised and battered Frances speaks to her subjects, extolling the virtues of a strong Britain and promising a prosperous future.

THE END

This is quite remarkable. You have so many conniving, power hungry characters, enough to make a rich tale. I'm quite hooked. Only comments would be to try culling some of it. I'm not sure how long the synopsis has to be, but there are some extraneous words that could be removed, and maybe some minor plots which don't need inclusion. I can't say which are minor here, that would be up to you. I'm wondering what happened to the islamic organization they blamed. At this time and age, that's quite a horrendous act, since innocents can get killed, and that by itself made the king unlikable.
Anyway, I loved the story. Good luck.
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