QueryTracker Community
September 26, 2018, 05:46:07 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
   Home   Help Search Login Register  
Note: This forum uses different usernames and passwords than those of the main QueryTracker site. 
Please register if you want to post messages.

This forum is also accessible by the public (including search engines).
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Prepping for Pitmad  (Read 6653 times)
JAJJH
Newbie
*

Karma: 3
Offline Offline

Posts: 18



« on: March 23, 2016, 08:39:07 PM »

Hi, I have never participated in Pitmad, but plan to for the next one. I need some help with the pitch...Thanks in advance!

Some I've been working on:

1) Two worlds are created from a choice a young man must make; one path leading to a loving family and the other path leading to mayhem.

2) A parallel world, an evil twin, and randomly trading places: All things a young man created with one choice.

3) Comas suck; especially when they are the result of saving a life, something Jared did, and managed to create a parallel world.

4) Jared has it rough; awaking from a coma, Jared discovers he has an evil twin in a parallel word, focused on killing him and his family.
Logged
Munley
Guest
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2016, 03:55:25 PM »

1) Two worlds are created from a choice a young man must make; one path leading to a loving family and the other path leading to mayhem. [Too vague.]

2) A parallel world, an evil twin, and randomly trading places: All things a young man created with one choice. [Better: some specific information to get a grip on.]

3) Comas suck; especially when they are the result of saving a life, something Jared did, and managed to create a parallel world. [Implies the the book is about how lousy comas are. Probably not the main point of the book.

4) Jared has it rough[this is a throwaway comment. Let us see that for ourselves.]; awaking from a coma, Jared discovers he has an evil twin in a parallel word, focused on killing him and his family. [Interesting situation, but somewhat vague.]

What if you combined the "trading places" detail of #2
with the parallel universe/evil twin intending to kill Jared's family in #3?

Something like:

Jared emerges from a coma to discover he has a twin from a parallel universe, a boy capable of randomly trading places and hellbent on killing Jared's family.

[Not sure what the character limit is supposed to be.]
« Last Edit: April 05, 2016, 09:24:31 PM by Munley » Logged
Munley
Guest
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2016, 10:13:35 PM »

What is your character limit?
Logged
JAJJH
Newbie
*

Karma: 3
Offline Offline

Posts: 18



« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2016, 05:41:09 PM »

Thank you for your feedback! I'm trying to keep to around 135 characters to allow for a twitter tag.  Here is my latest attempt:

A parallel world, an evil twin, and colliding realities: Jared, fifteen and beaten into a coma, created all with one choice.
Logged
mayachhabra
Newbie
*

Karma: 5
Offline Offline

Posts: 24



WWW
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2016, 09:05:58 PM »

Maybe tell us what his choice that created all this was? it's too vague right now.

Best I can do is:

"Waking from a coma, Jared finds out a doppelganger from the parallel dimension he created is trying to kill him and his family"
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.2 | SMF © 2006-2007, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!