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Author Topic: Query for kids' book  (Read 1439 times)
« on: March 27, 2016, 10:08:45 AM »

Dear Agent:

   When Clara was young, she had a lovely singing voice, but was too shy to perform or record anything. Now she’s a grandmother, and little Claranette, now four, has the same glorious voice.

   Grammy is not stupid. It’s obvious that her son, Fritz, who ignored her for years, named the kid after her just so she’d babysit while he and his wife, Olga, indulged in their travels. She went along with it out of sheer loneliness. But it’s been three years since they set out to explore the vast Russian expanse from end to end. Now they’re coming home to New Jersey. They claim to be looking forward to seeing their daughter act out the cute little songs Grammy described so vividly in her emails.

   But Claranette comes to the door in wet pants and croons out, “I’m a Little Pisspot,” her eyes glowing with a plan to engineer her estranged parents’ demise. If they don’t catch on soon, they’ll find themselves in an unmarked Potter’s Field — a far cry from the gorgeous stone angels collapsing in anguish on the fancy graves they so admired in Moscow.

I’M NOT A LITTLE TEAPOT, GODDAMIT! is a well-written, 32-page picture book aimed at winning the hearts and minds of kindergarten children. I look forward to hearing from you.

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« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2016, 10:09:40 AM »

Okay, the title is perfect. That whole closing sentence is perfect.  rofl

This is hilarious.

"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers." -Charles W. Eliot
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