Dear Sir or Madam,
Johnny Appleseed's years of gallivanting across the country planting seeds has finally come to an end. People show their appreciation for his work with generous offerings from the fruits of his labor. Before long, Johnny develops an addiction to apple pie and apple cider. Though everyone knows an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what they don't say is that apples can cause apple farts, and Johnny has major apple farts.
There is a bright spot for Johnny. A young woman looks past his bare feet and the pot on his head and falls in love with him. Before the day of their wedding, Johnny accidentally lets one slip, an apple fart, and with watering eyes, his love flees. She tells him he'll have to give up his addiction because she does not want his noxious fumes filling their home or his apple farts billowing the blankets of their marital bed.
Torn, Johnny will have to decide between the woman who could fill his home with the pattering of little feet or his apple farts.
APPLE FARTS, A LOVE STORY is a literary novel complete at 77, 000 words. It will appeal to gassy people and their suffering spouses.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
